Dear Governor Mills, Please, Come to the Aid of Your State and Nation

Dear Governor Mills, (or Dear Janet, May I call you "Janet"? If not, please ignore and go back to the initial salutation),

I know it is unlikely that you are reading this, especially if this post is still stuck in the Ricochet Member Feed. But if, for some reason, perhaps a staff member doing op research comes across this, I have a most sincere request.

I know you dropped out of the Maine Senatorial Democratic Primary, but could you please consider re-entering the race? I'm unaware of the legalities, but it seems that between now and the voting date (June 9th), you might figure out a way to get back in the running.

Obviously, your opponent, Adolf Platner—did I get the name right?—has had a troubling last few days. It seems the odds of his defeating Susan Collins in the general election may well be decreasing by the hour.

It's not just the tattoo. (Though I must admit, I've never been a great fan of tattoos myself. I usually find them rather ugly. So often they commemorate people or ideas that are less beloved as time goes on. Now I know people who honor their children or parents, but otherwise... nope. And a tattoo that celebrates the imprisonment, torture, and execution of a people because of their race or religion really seems gauche.)

And not just for the unsuccessfully deleted texts and posts mocking rape victims and his fellow soldiers.

I'm thinking most about the sexting. Because so far, we have just heard about the fact that a newly married Platner sexted quite a number of women. Bad enough. But we've so far been spared the content of those texts. If the Oyster Man continues in the race, you know we're going to see some nasty pics whether we want to or not.

So, I'm thinking that if you could kindly get back in the race, perhaps he would drop out or lose to you with this new set of facts.

This would obviously be of benefit to the whole Democratic Party. You would be doing a service, particularly to those in your party who have yet to beclown themselves by endorsing the Trust Fund Soldier. It's too late for many, but for those who have not, they would still be able to bemoan the carnal choices of Ken Paxton or call Trump a Nazi with considerably less fear of being struck by lightning.

Most of all, if you could please usher this vile, unbalanced, awful man off your state's ballot and the national stage, you would be doing the country a great service. And I say this as a Republican who would like to see Collins retain her seat and who recognizes you probably now have a greater chance of defeating her.

Thank you much for your consideration of this matter. Love those lobster rolls.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen