At First Blush

With the best will in the world, I’m only human. I sometimes forget that. But, then, I sometimes forget a lot of things. Number one among them right now was not to go running into darkened alleys just because you heard a scream. But then, we all make mistakes. If we live to tell about them, that’s a bonus. At the end, the alley took a sharp turn around a corner, past some dustbins and out to where several doors let out onto a side alley. Faint light spilled out of one of them, where two things were advancing on a girl backed up against the opposite wall. They looked halfway human, but if they were entirely, you could add it to the list of the last mistakes I would ever make. There were more dustbins by each of the doors, so I grabbed one of the lids for a makeshift shield. It made a scraping noise as I picked it up. The things turned. The girl made a break for it. ‘Get behind me!’ I called. She didn’t need telling twice. The things advanced. I could almost swear they were grinning.

‘Hey, uglies, I’m not afraid of you. You think I haven’t faced monsters before?’

One of them broke out in a low chuckle. His throat gurgled as he laughed.

‘What’s so funny?’ I asked.

The laughing ugly hissed, ‘I think, as you would say here, She’s behind you.’

‘Huh?’ I didn’t hear the other dustbin lid. I felt it, though, as it slammed into the back of my head with a gratuitous clang like a cymbal being struck. Suddenly, my legs felt a lot wobblier and I staggered back against a convenient wall. ‘Good thing I’m here to hold you up,’ I muttered to it.

I could see the girl clearer now as she advanced toward me. ‘That was almost too easy,’ she murmured.

I would have argued, but she sort of had a point. ‘Do I know you?’ I asked, peering at her.

‘No, but I know you. At least, by reputation.’

Maybe it was the echo of the dustbin lid in my ears, but I was puzzled. ‘You know, if you wanted my autograph, all you had to do was ask.’

‘Hear that, boys? He thinks we want an autograph.’ The light above one of the doors caught her features as she moved a step nearer. She wore lipstick in a vivid shade of crimson. But that wasn’t what worried me. It only served to draw attention to—

‘—My, what big teeth you have,’ I said weakly. ‘You must be Lulu the Red.’

Despite the oversized fangs, she blushed almost coquettishly. ‘You’ve heard of me. A girl does so like to be thought of.’

‘Yeah,’ muttered one of the things, ‘like the song – Don’t bring L—’

‘Don’t say it!’ she said, whirling on them. Sensitive subject, I guess. I could see how it would be.

‘What song would that be?’ I asked innocently.

‘You know,’ said the other thing, ‘You can bring all dem other gals, but don’t bring Lu—’

‘—lu …’ he finished, as the dustbin lid finished ringing again and he folded up onto the ground.

‘Hey,’ his friend interjected, ‘that wasn’t part of no deal. You’re just supposed to help us grab him.’

‘Deals change,’ she growled. Was it just my imagination, or was her voice a bit hoarser – or her hair a bit … dare I say it, wilder? ‘Anyone who knows anything about working with me knows I have my rules. One of them is never to mention that song in my presence.’ Her words seemed to be getting a bit slurred, as if her teeth were getting in the way.

‘We don’t work for you, little girl – you work for us. Just you remember it.’

‘Oh, yeah?’ The voice was deeper now, with an edge. This must be one clueless goon. I was half concussed, and I could practically feel her frowning from here.

The goon thrust his ugly-looking chin towards her. ‘You don’t want to get on the wrong side of us, princess. Believe me. Bad things can happen down dark alleys—’

He didn’t finish the sentence. Some people just don’t know how to pass up a straight line, I’ve observed. Me included. The third ring of the dustbin lid didn’t do much to help my head, though. Nor the fourth one, as she threw it down on the ground next to them. I noticed she was breathing heavily, trying hard to get it under control. I decided discretion was the better part of valour in this case. And besides, I felt a little bad about that bit with the song.

After a while, she said slowly, ‘Well, what are you still doing standing there? Do you need me to help you?’ Her head was turned sideways, and her teeth looked almost normal again. Quite pretty, really. Though that might have been the lightheadedness talking.

‘Oh, I think I can manage,’ I said carefully.

‘Good. Then I suggest you get out of here before they wake up.’

I turned to go. Then I stopped. ‘Thanks,’ I said.

‘Least I could do,’ she said slowly, as if that much effort had taken a lot out of her. ‘This little dance has given me something to think about. Maybe re-evaluate a few things about my life. Let’s say I owe you a favour.’

I felt an idiot for asking it, but I’m often like that, so what’s one more time: ‘Are you going to be all right?’

She blinked. After a long moment, she said, ‘I think so. Are you?’

I nodded. ‘Take care of yourself.’

‘So long, skip. Likewise.’

Nice girl, Lulu. Once you get over her quirks. Plus, she does have a pretty smile.

After a week or two, I thought of my favour. I found a way to get in touch with her, and invited her to go out for dinner. I think the gesture tickled her, and secretly she was rather pleased.

At the end of the evening, she stopped to collect her bags (she’d been planning on leaving town after that night in the alley, and some information I’d passed on confirmed that sooner would be better than later), and I walked her to the bus station. As we were standing waiting, both staring straight ahead, she murmured, ‘Thank you for this … and for, well, everything.’ She eyed me sideways.

‘My pleasure.’ I said, a little hoarsely. I was just a bit out of breath from helping with the bags, that’s it. I almost didn’t notice the big bus out of town pulling in.

‘Don’t be a stranger, now, you hear. Keep in touch.’ She leaned in and kissed my cheek. She was a tall girl; she hardly had to stretch. ‘And you know,’ she whispered in my ear with a mischievous grin, before singing softly, ‘monsters make such interesting wives …’

I don’t know what was redder – her lips or my cheeks. After a while, I became aware of the bus doors closing. There was a rap on the glass. I looked up to see Lulu, still grinning, at one of the windows. ‘I’ll write to you,’ I think she was saying. She waved as the bus pulled out.

I waved back, and stood there vacantly for a while with my hand held up, long after the bus had pulled away and disappeared from sight, finally letting it fall. I rubbed my cheek.

After all, I pondered, I suppose none of us can help the way we’re made. And there are many a good egg that doesn’t get a fair crack in this life. If you can help one on your way, why not?

I kicked at the ground, idly. And then I wandered off into the night, whistling. You’ll be pleased to know I didn’t go chasing off into any more dark alleys. Well, that night, anyway.