The Doctor is in the Book: Pop Quiz

My eighth-grade English teacher at Comstock Jr. High School, Mr. Uebel, taught us how to speed read. His method was to find and focus on key words. We were to train our minds to group words together. We were to minimize subvocalization or sounding everything out. It all worked to some degree. But the way he presented it made it seem like an essentially useless skill. He said, "You won't want to use this for schoolwork, because when you study, every word is important. You can use this for your pleasure reading."

That really didn't work for me. Assigned reading was what I wanted to get through quickly. As for the things I read for fun, I wanted to take my own sweet time. But I've finally found a good object for those speed-reading skills. I made a foolish commitment here at Ricochet to read Dr. Jill Biden's new memoir about her time in the White House, View from the East Week.

It is appropriate to begin this post talking about a teacher because Dr. Biden writes a great deal about her love for teaching and how proud she was to continue teaching even as her husband had the title of President of the United States. (You might not remember this, but throughout what some have called "the Autopen Presidency," the good Doctor Jill taught at Northern Virginia Community College, paid through a special grant program.)

So, in keeping with the theme of education, I'd like to present this post in the form of one of everyone's favorite things from junior high: a pop quiz. Now I realize the vast majority of you haven't studied the material in this quiz. (Not so different from junior high, amirite?)

After the questions, you will find the answers. We are using the honor system to grade this quiz. We expect you to use the high standards of integrity used by Joe Biden himself. No plagiarism!

I) In the opening pages of View from the East Wing, on the page that reads "ALSO BY JILL BIDEN" (not Dr.?) four books are listed. Which two of the following aren't books by the former First Lady:

a) Where the Light Enters

b) Living with Dementia

c) Willow, the White House Cat

d) Joey, the Story of Joe Biden

e) Titles and Pronouns: How People Offend Us

f) God Bless Our Troops

II) Biden has five granddaughters: Naomi, Finnegan, Maisy, Navy, and Natalie. Which granddaughter wasn’t mentioned in Biden's dedication at the beginning of the book?

III) In Dr. Jill Biden's memoir about the exploits of Dr. Jill Biden, she wrote five of the following statements about her humility. Which statement was not included as an example?

a) "As a rule, I preferred less buzz around me than more."

b) "Still, I was a reluctant participant in politics."

c) "Why should any citizen care about my opinion about anything?"

d) "I was happiest off in my own corner with a stack of books."

e) "I think he (Joe) and I both erred on the side of silence, dignity, and letting the news cycle run their course."

IV) Fill in the blank with the phrase that actually completes this paragraph:

"The ground floor of the White House is where the public tours are held. As a teacher, I knew the tours needed improving when I saw young people zoning out on their phones rather than looking around as they walked through the building. For starters, I swapped out some of the nineteenth-century presidential portraits with _____________ who guests would know, into the public spaces."

a) paintings of pets that have lived in the White House

b) more recent portraits of contemporary First Ladies

c) statues of LGBTQ heroes

d) pictures of movie stars

V) True or False: On February 28, 2024, after an exam, his doctor proclaimed him (Joe Biden), “a healthy, active, robust 81- year-old male, who remains fit to execute the duties of the presidency.”

VI) Which of the following celebrity anecdotes does not appear in the book:

a) "Joe and (Lady) Gaga had built a relationship years before when she asked him, as author of the 1994 Violence Against Women Act, to introduce her at the 2016 Awards when she performed 'Til It Happens to You'"

b) "In 2021, to find a way to celebrate the holidays despite COVID, Trisha Yearwood and I taped a Food Network special called White House Thanksgiving, where we cooked a Thanksgiving meal together using recipes of hers and mine."

c) "Growing up, I was a huge Barbra Streisand fan. I even went to one of her farewell concerts. Cut to the present day: There I was, on the phone, asking her to join an event for Joe this summer."

d) "U2's Bono, my longtime crush, habitually breaks into poetry as part of the conversation."

e) "Carrot Top, Joe's favorite comic performer, agreed to do a special appearance for Joe's birthday."

f)"'You remind me of my wife, Ricky,' Ralph Lauren said one day."

VII) Dr. Biden used her skills as a writer to shape world affairs. Which of the following incidents did not happen:

a) "I wrote an op-ed for CNN that ended: 'Mr. Putin, please end this senseless and brutal war.' That plea has gone unanswered."

b) "I left a Post-It note for Joe on the mirror above the sink before I left to teach so he could see it when he got up: "(United Nations) WCK (World Central Kitchen) aid workers killed, 1 Amer. Net (Netanyahu) has to stop."

c) "My essay for Mother Jones, 'Why Joe is the Bestest President Ever,' was widely ignored."

d) "When people couldn't convince Joe to quit, they began to lobby me. One day, I'd had enough. Sitting by the pool in my bikini, I found myself getting madder and madder. Finally, I wrote 'NO' in black Sharpie on my stomach, then walked through the strategy session."

VIII) Even though his advisors told him not to pardon his son, Hunter, Joe did it anyway because:

a) "He caught wind of how vindictive the coming administration was likely to be"

b) "After the guilty verdict... it became clear Hunter might be facing prison time."

c) Joe could get away with it.

IX) Dr. Biden wrote, "Everywhere I go - the gym, the grocery store, the beach - I am stopped by people telling me horror stories."

a) “I’m losing my FEMA job - my whole life has been devoted to saving people!”

b) “My cancer research lab is closing - all that training, all that work, for what?”

c) “I can’t afford groceries to feed my family. Eggs are eight dollars!”

d) “My partner - an upstanding, tax-paying member of our community who’s lived here forty years - is being deported. What do I tell our children?”

e) This is the only essay question. What should the children be told?

X) Which of the following does Dr. Biden NOT thank in her acknowledgements:

a) "Ada Calhoun listened not just to the words but to the pauses between them."

b) "I am a card-carrying union member. Becky Pringle, Randi Weingarten, and the members of the NEA and AFT are my family.

c) "To the women I've met, whether in the classroom or in my travels - I have loved connecting with all of you."

d) "To the Donald... None of this would have been possible without you."

THE ANSWERS:

I) b & e

II) Navy, the biological daughter of Hunter Biden. (Hunter has tried to evade financial responsibility, and every other kind of responsibility for this daughter. His parents have supported him in this decision.)

III) c

IV) b (Yes, the author truly thought the kids would be enthralled by First Ladies such as herself.)

V) We will accept either True or False as an acceptable answer here. A doctor indeed said such a thing. The Hur Report and the evidence of our eyes and ears prove that statement was empirically false.

VI) e - Sadly, Carrot Top was never able to work a visit to the White House into his schedule.

VII) c - Yes, that incident with the bikini and the Sharpie is in the book. I apologize for putting such an image in your mind.

VIII) We accept any of these answers.

IX) I will be grading the essays I find in the comments section, but any acceptable answer should include the phrase, "I voted for that."

X) d

Scale: If you scored a perfect 10, you do not have to read this book. If you scored 9 or below, you do not have to read this book.