Brothers in Full

The age gap between siblings plays an important part in the relationship that they enjoy throughout their lives. The smaller the gap, the larger the rivalry and competition; the larger the gap, the greater chance of it developing into that of a mentorship.

I have certainly watched that play out among my own children, where the three oldest came into this world within four years of each other and in the relationship between my oldest and youngest sons, where the gap is eight full years.

Two memories stand out for me. The first was captured by a USMC photographer on the sweltering parade deck of Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island in August of 2014. Separated for the previous 13 weeks, my young lad of 10 watched his older brother march with 800 other newly minted Marines. We all strained to pick him out of the crowd, a rolling sea of skinny teenagers in buzz cuts and matching uniforms. I remember the sheer happiness that came with finding him and the excitement that the end of the ceremony would bring about reunion and a 10-day liberty.

The second was a performance on the stage of our neighborhood elementary school, where the lad had gathered his courage to walk out on stage with a guitar for the school talent show and carefully pick out the notes to the Marine Corps Hymn, ending with a hardy and heartfelt “Oooo-rah!”

Never a gifted student, my Marine would work and plow his way through college at the same time. The lad, on the other hand, breezed through high school and gained himself a Congressional appointment to the United States Merchant Marine Academy in Kings Point, NY. The Marine took his engineering degree down south, first to the Carolinas and then really, really south to an extended stay in Brazil. Now the physical gap was as gaping as the age difference.

But they remained as close as the world would allow them to be. Phone calls, texts, and FaceTime chats across continents, time zones and the seas would continue unabated. Many conversations would center on regimental life and how the youngest would fulfill the service obligation of his academy. Would he follow his brother into the Corps or seek his own path through another branch, or possibly sail commercially and accept his place in the Naval Reserve as a Strategic Sealift Officer?

Eventually the lad would choose active duty in the Navy, and the opportunity presented itself for him to attend flight training. Barriers remained. There was a battery of physical exams to pass and the grueling 7-part Coast Guard licensing exam, both of which he passed. This past Saturday he signed his papers, a 12-year contract with the Navy, and Monday morning he graduated Cum Laude. He has also been awarded a Burke Scholarship, and the Navy will send him to postgraduate school after successfully completing his first deployment in the fleet.

Now back in Ohio, my Marine came home a couple of months ago to pick up his dress blues. It’s been five years since he last wore them. A service stripe needed to be added and, yes, some buttons needed to be moved. Time marched on even if he hadn’t marched at all. The body of a man now stood where a skinny 18-year-old kid had been fitted for a uniform at Parris Island. It wouldn’t be the most comfortable thing, but it was about to become the most necessary thing.

There’s a tradition in the military among commissioned officers to choose an enlisted man to give him his first salute in exchange for a silver dollar. Who better than his best friend and confidant?

The Midshipmen who were commissioning gathered along the shores of the Long Island Sound after graduation and family members watched them take their oath of office and then participated as shoulder boards were changed and covers converted to those of the Navy.

Tears flowed as the coin was exchanged. My oldest grabbed his baby brother by the arms and said to him, “I know you’ve always looked up to me as the older brother but the time has come for me to look up to you.”

”Ensign.”

”Sergeant.”

And then right hands flashed into a smart salute, and with the deed done, it became an embrace.

When they walked across campus afterwards, they were brothers in blood, brothers in spirit, brothers in service to the country and to the Constitution. They were brothers in full.