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Blood Is Thicker than Politics
Andrew W.K. is somewhat of a punk polymath. The son of a University of Michigan law professor and classically trained pianist, he burst into pop culture with a rowdy rock anthem titled “Party Hard.” Wearing his signature white undershirt, stringy hair and preternaturally goofy grin, Andrew W.K. has since worked as a music producer, television host, motivational speaker, and frequent guest on Fox News’ “Red Eye.”
He also serves as an advice columnist of sorts for the Village Voice, counseling jaded hipsters on the vagaries of life. In yesterday’s edition, an anonymous young man railed against the politics of his dad:
I’m writing because I just can’t deal with my father anymore. He’s a 65-year-old super right-wing conservative who has basically turned into a total [expletive] intent on ruining our relationship and our planet with his politics. I’m more or less a liberal democrat with very progressive values and I know that people like my dad are going to destroy us all. I don’t have any good times with him anymore. All we do is argue.
I don’t know Andrew W.K.’s politics, but the “Party Hard” rocker uses this opportunity to shock the right-minded kids in Brooklyn:
Go back and read the opening sentences of your letter. Read them again. Then read the rest of your letter. Then read it again. Try to find a single instance where you referred to your dad as a human being, a person, or a man. There isn’t one. You’ve reduced your father — the person who created you — to a set of beliefs and political views and how it relates to you. And you don’t consider your dad a person of his own standing — he’s just “your dad.”
You’ve also reduced yourself to a set of opposing views, and reduced your relationship with him to a fight between the two. The humanity has been reduced to nothingness and all that’s left in its place is an argument that can never really be won. And even if one side did win, it probably wouldn’t satisfy the deeper desire to be in a state of inflamed passionate conflict.
The world isn’t being destroyed by democrats or republicans, red or blue, liberal or conservative, religious or atheist — the world is being destroyed by one side believing the other side is destroying the world. The world is being hurt and damaged by one group of people believing they’re truly better people than the others who think differently. The world officially ends when we let our beliefs conquer love. We must not let this happen.
Now, I don’t know if I’d go as far as Andrew W.K. It’s pretty obvious that everyone who disagrees with me on politics and religion ARE destroying the world. But it is a good, and dare I say conservative, instinct to not politicize every single relationship in our lives.
My family’s politics are all over the place. I jokingly compare my dad to Archie Bunker while my mom never voted for a Republican. My sister plays it down the middle while my brother evolved from being far-left to being a Thomas Sowell libertarian. Add in my extended family and you find Gordon Gekko capitalists, bra-burning feminists, lifetime NRA members and gun control enthusiasts.
And we all get along famously.
We still talk about politics and passionately. But throughout the arguments we realize that, flaws and all, we’re the only family we have. These are the people who burped me as a baby, carried me home when I broke a bone and let me crash at their house when I was between jobs. Even when we disagree about the midterms or the social safety net or The One True Church, they are there for me and I for them.
I’ll let Andrew W.K. close it out: “Love your dad because he’s your father, because he made you, because he thinks for himself, and most of all because he is a person.”
Does your family disagree on politics? How do you handle that?
Published in General
Fortunately, all of my immediate family is conservative. I do however, have a couple of close friends (almost family to me) that are 1) a democrat, but reasonable, and 2) a flaming leftist liberal Boston lesbian “married” to another woman (who is very nice lady). We get along by not talking politics. We know we’re not going to convince each other about the validity of our beliefs, so we let it slide . . .
A Ricochet contributor reads The Village Voice?
Thanks for the post, Coffee Cup Man of the SW (and nice showing on this week’s flagship podcast, too). Unconventionally sourced as it may be, the advice soundly echoes Biblical wisdom (not that there’s anything wrong with that). The obligation to honor your father has nothing to do with liking him, condoning his actions or beliefs, or agreeing with him on everything–the commandment primarily confers psychic good to the son or daughter. Honoring your flawed parents, as well as being gracious to others who disagree with you, requires a healthy humility borne from self-awareness, knowing how often you receive unmerited favor from others in your life.
Some of us eat the steaks. Some of us eat the salad. There’s something on the table for everyone.
For context: Andrew W.K. on Conan
Like.
Jon just described my family – Are you sure you haven’t crashed at my house between jobs?
What it comes down to, is we love each other – even when they erroneously disagree with me. We agree on far more than we disagree, and even then, it’s usually about process or implementation.
Awesome. For more context, Andrew W.K. on Red Eye:
I have, in the past, spent way too much time watching that clip repeatedly, and getting pains from laughing so hard.
Every Christmas, for years, my dad, my brothers and I would, sometime during the day, end up bringing up a touchy topic and arguing passionately, and usually angrily, about it for about an hour. The wives (or girlfriends) and my mother would move away nervously, leaving us to ourselves.
Before we went our separate ways at day’s end, we always managed to cool down, apologize if we needed to, hug or shake hands, and be friendly again.
(I’m convinced that America would be much better off if enough people here considered ideas important enough to thus argue about them maturely and boldly.)
My wife, who is from Argentina, has left-wing values and views. It is very very difficult, what can I say. I didn’t realize I was a right-winger myself until 2012, so we didn’t realize we had completely different world views until recently. We viscerally disagree on anything touching politics – though at least I did set her straight on some of the facts about the history of Israel and its conflict with the Palestinians. I think if she were an Israel hater, that might just be the limit for me!
When I was younger (s0 much younger than today), I could kind-of-sort-of relate to the kid from this article in that I didn’t like some of my parents’ conservative views (they are both Republicans, maybe RINOS). The funny thing is that now I have moved to the right of them! They both have trouble talking to me about political issues, such as climate change for example, because now I am the ‘super right-winger.’
(I may have mentioned this once before….)
Jaron Lanier once said something like, “It takes a person about ten years to change their mind about something important.” As soon as I heard it, it struck me as correct, given my experience.
So, there may be hope.
I stay away from discussing politics with the two of my children who are moon batguano crazy Leftists (although they are ardent 2nd amendment supporters and are really beginning to dislike paying so much of what they make in taxes).
My wife used to tell me not to start up conversations about politics with any of my four children, all of whom were left of center, until they grew up, had kids, got jobs, and pay taxes. Now they are all conservative, and we have spirited but good-natured discussions. It’s a pleasure.
I married an apparently a-political person 40 years ago, who has developed into a raving liberal Dem over the last 10 years. I don’t know what happened. Sheesh…So we simply don’t discuss politics because it isn’t worth it. The five kids are split between libs and moderates. We love each other enough in our family that we don’t talk about our political opinions, or who we vote for, or stuff like that. We do, however, discuss lots of other weighty matters and enjoy one another as often as possible. When I want to talk about politics, I log into Ricochet. Thanks guys!!
I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. Parents, Grandparents, siblings, and even their spouses (one being from CA) are all conservative. We still avoid politics on holidays but that’s just because it’s so depressing these days.
Homeschool your kids , they will almost always keep your major political beliefs and are by far more likely to be more involved in politics (per a published educational survey). Plus they will in all likelihood get a better education.
Anecdotally, there are 19 of us (siblings and cousins) from both sides of my family (over seven family units) all but 4 of us were homeschooled for quite a few years. Everyone is a conservative other than two or three who were not homeschooled and they are moderates. Granted 4 of my cousins are still homeschooling and two are in elementary so they really don’t have any political believes, so maybe they will change but I doubt it. Out of all my friends who homeschooled, I only know of one or two who would be considered liberal but they are still pro-life.