The Two-Minute-and-Fifteen-Second Hate

 

Hollywood has a lousy record of late on live-action blockbusters purportedly based on ancient myth. I still have a bad taste in my mouth whenever I think of Troy (no, not that one; the Wolfgang Petersen trainwreck). And the last Hercules movie was apparently so dishonest that it undid the fantastic choice of putting Dwayne Johnson in a lion-skin cowl.

Gods of Egypt, however, looks so unabashedly silly, unserious, and inauthentic to its source material — if such a thing exists in this context — that taking it seriously at all seems like a guaranteed way to waste your time and ruin some mindless fun.

I mean, watch:

However, judgement and a sense of fun never get in the way of the racial grievance lobby. They have successfully forced the film’s director and studio ritualistically to confess to the crime of “whitewashing” the film by casting a Scot and a Dane in the lead roles, along with a bevy of other generally pale-faced actors:

[Director] Alex Proyas: “The process of casting a movie has many complicated variables, but it is clear that our casting choices should have been more diverse. I sincerely apologize to those who are offended by the decisions we made.”

Lionsgate: ”We recognize that it is our responsibility to help ensure that casting decisions reflect the diversity and culture of the time periods portrayed. In this instance we failed to live up to our own standards of sensitivity and diversity, for which we sincerely apologize. Lionsgate is deeply committed to making films that reflect the diversity of our audiences. We have, can, and will continue to do better.​​”

After finishing your derisive guffaws — take your time, enjoy — consider how patently absurd this is. First, the movie’s setting is fantastic, and the Egypt it’s depicting has precisely no relationship to any real Egypt that’s ever existed; heck, it’s relationship to Egyptian myth seems to be of the kind that makes Marvel’s Thor films appear scholarly, meticulous, and constrained. Second, Gerard Butler and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau aren’t playing Egyptians, but the gods Set and Horus, who are generally depicted as having the heads of animals. Third — and this is the really odd bit — what are we to make of the casting of Chadwick Boseman and Elodie Yung, both of whom are featured in the trailer and in the movies’ promotional posters but … neither of whom are exactly white, nor precisely Egyptian. Indeed, the discriminating principle in the casting seems not to be whiteness, but stunning gorgeousness.

Gods of Egypt gives every hint it will be gaudy, mindless, fun without any presence of self-importance or “authenticity” — whatever that might mean in this context.

This February, do yourself a favor: See what looks like a gloriously silly popcorn flick, and annoy a Leftist agitator.

Published in Culture, Entertainment
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  1. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Why get your knickers in a twist over a movie that virtually nobody is gonna actually watch?

    Once again, it’s the old “Parents Protesting A Marilyn Manson Concert” scenario. The only press this dud of a movie’s gonna get is the entirely artificial “controversy”. Don’t participate!

    Take Paul Anka’s advice:

    • #1
  2. Matt Bartle Member
    Matt Bartle
    @MattBartle

    THIS! IS! EGYPT!!

    • #2
  3. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Matt Bartle:THIS! IS! EGYPT!!

    Butler can’t seem to shake the mythological typecasting, which started long before 300 when he did a pretty dang decent job portraying Beowulf:

    • #3
  4. Mike Hubbard Inactive
    Mike Hubbard
    @MikeHubbard

    Tom, if this turns out to be a 10 megaton bomb, can I send you a bill for my evening?

    • #4
  5. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Mike Hubbard: Tom, if this turns out to be a 10 megaton bomb, can I send you a bill for my evening?

    That seems only fair, especially considering how hard you tried to talk me out of Prometheus.

    • #5
  6. Mike Rapkoch Member
    Mike Rapkoch
    @MikeRapkoch

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Mike Hubbard: Tom, if this turns out to be a 10 megaton bomb, can I send you a bill for my evening?

    That seems only fair, especially considering how hard you tried to talk me out of Prometheus.

    I’ll be charging my usual exorbitant hourly rate, Tom, so open up that checkbook.

    • #6
  7. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Mike Rapkoch: I’ll be charging my usual exorbitant hourly rate, Tom, so open up that checkbook.

    You didn’t try to talk me out of Prometheus. You monster.

    • #7
  8. Johnny Dubya Inactive
    Johnny Dubya
    @JohnnyDubya

    Was the current Broadway musical Hamilton “brownwashed” because the producers casted* the play with African-American and Hispanic actors?

    There has been a trend in recent years toward color-blind casting.  One of the first times I was exposed to the concept was when I saw a Shakespeare play in NYC’s Central Park and was surprised to see siblings played by actors of different races.  It was distracting at first, but I am not opposed to the practice, the application of which should be decided by the producers.

    It seems, though, that color-blind casting only works one way.  We’re supposed to accept it, except when certain quarters find it unacceptable.

    The left really needs to get its stories straight.  For example, if Syrian refugees are just like the Pilgrims, is that an insult or a compliment?

    The rapid capitulation by the director and studio is the type of behavior that only makes matters worse – analogous to the craven acts by college administrators when confronted by “liberal fascist” students.  Why not say, “We try to cast films in as color-blind a way as possible, and this film does in fact have a diverse cast.”  Just leave it at that.

    *Yes, I said “casted” and not “cast”.  I like clarity of language.

    • #8
  9. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Johnny Dubya: Was the current Broadway musical Hamilton “brownwashed” because the producers casted the play with African-American and Hispanic actors?

    But that’s completely different! Because… well, it’s … you know… umm ….

    • #9
  10. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Come to think of it, there weren’t too many tuners-of-color in Dark City.

    • #10
  11. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @WilliamFehringer

    It’s nice to see Gerard Butler working again. That guy can never get a break.

    Troy was horrible. I was doing a Classics program when that came out and some exclamations in the department I remember:

    “Brad Pitt was exactly how I envisioned Achilles to be, right up until he opened his mouth.”

    “What the heck is he doing in the horse?”

    “You! What’s your name?” “Aeneas, sir.” *barf* “Aeneas, this is the Sword of Troy.” *barf again*

    “The only thing that stayed the same was when Achilles called Agamemnon a winesack.”

    “So, I guess Menelaus won’t be in the sequel.”

    Also, this webcomic (beware, I think this violates CoC).

    As long as it doesn’t boast of being anything historical, I’ll be able to appreciate and enjoy Gods of Egypt for what it is.

    • #11
  12. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    William Fehringer:Troy was horrible. I was doing a Classics program when that came out and some exclamations I remember:

    “Brad Pitt was exactly how I envisioned Achilles to be, right up until he opened his mouth.”

    “What the heck is he doing in the horse?”

    “You! What’s your name?” “Aeneas, sir.” *barf* “Aeneas, this is the Sword of Troy.” *barf again*

    “The only thing that stayed the same was when Achilles called Agamemnon a winesack.”

    “So, I guess Menelaus won’t be in the sequel.”

    We appear to have been thinking precisely along the same lines. The Sword of Troy was a particularly painful moment.

    • #12
  13. Ford Inactive
    Ford
    @FordPenney

    WOW! What  a bizarre CG mess!

    Good luck with that one… color of skin appears to be the least of this movies ‘issues’.

    • #13
  14. Sabrdance Member
    Sabrdance
    @Sabrdance

    I do not understand this hatred of Troy.  There are dozens of versions of the story of the Trojan War, not just the Illiad.  Even the Illiad is largely concerned with the question of Achilles’ rage, and how it consumes his life, but even then it inserts bunches of stories that have nothing to do with that because listeners of the time wanted to hear the cool parts.

    Listeners of today want to see the Trojan Horse, the filmmakers wanted to focus on Achilles’ rage.  Moving Achilles’ death to the end of the film, and contrasting the burning of Troy with the final quenching of Achilles’ rage (followed by death) is a perfectly valid way to tell the story.

    • #14
  15. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Sabrdance: I do not understand this hatred of Troy.

    • It wasn’t very entertaining. As I once put it, consider that this is a movie in which Peter O’Toole is — at best — okay.
    • If you’re going to change the plot that much, why bother to include Odysseus (and cast Sean Bean as him!) if you’re not going to do anything with him?
    • Given the genuine talent of the cast and crew, it should have been much, much better.
    • While I concede it’s entitled of me to demand a film of the Iliad with that cast… that would have been way better than what we got.
    • The score sounded like it was cobbled together in a few weeks… as, indeed, it was!
    • OMG, the Sword of Troy.
    • #15
  16. Sabrdance Member
    Sabrdance
    @Sabrdance

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Sabrdance: I do not understand this hatred of Troy.

    • It wasn’t very entertaining. As I once put it, consider that this is a movie in which Peter O’Toole is — at best — okay.
    • If you’re going to change the plot that much, why bother to include Odysseus (and cast Sean Bean as him!) if you’re not going to do anything with him?
    • Given the genuine talent of the cast and crew, it should have been much, much better.
    • While I concede it’s entitled of me to demand a film of the Iliad with that cast… that would have been way better than what we got.
    • The score sounded like it was cobbled together in a few weeks… as, indeed, it was!
    • OMG, the Sword of Troy.

    Peter O’Toole’s turn as Priam was heartrending -“You are my enemy now” was delivered with excellent conviction.  “Have you no honor?!”

    People want to see Odysseus for the same reason they want to see the Horse -for the same reason they wanted to hear lists of warriors who get one line and then die in the original epic.

    De gustibus non disputandum, I guess.  I thought they did a great job of it.

    The Illiad is not Troy, and Troy is not the Illiad, and regardless The Illiad is ten stories strung together, it is virtually unfilmable as anything other than a LOTR style epic.  Which would be cool.

    Ancestral swords never appear in myth?

    • #16
  17. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    Another vote for Troy, at least within the context of screen epics.  I was pleasantly surprised by the acting, particularly Eric Bana, although I’ll admit to a preference for scene-chewing (see the Agamemnon character).  Horner was not a good (second) choice for the score, but at least he apparently tried to make up for it by plagiarizing some very good composers who weren’t around to complain (e.g., Britten).

    • #17
  18. Amy Schley Coolidge
    Amy Schley
    @AmySchley

    Sabrdance: Peter O’Toole’s turn as Priam was heartrending -“You are my enemy now” was delivered with excellent conviction. “Have you no honor?!”

    He was definitely the best part of the movie.

    And clearly, the problem was casting Sean Bean in a role where he lives to the end credits. Much like the Spamalot line about you won’t succeed on Broadway if you don’t have any Jews, you can’t have a good movie where Sean Bean lives to the end credits.

    • #18
  19. Barkha Herman Inactive
    Barkha Herman
    @BarkhaHerman

    This is my favorite:

    • #19
  20. Ricochet Inactive
    Ricochet
    @WilliamFehringer

    Ancestral swords never appear in myth?

    For those of us translating the Iliad at the time, the question was, “Why are they giving us this ‘Sword of Troy’? We want the Shield of Achilles!”

    • #20
  21. Douglas Inactive
    Douglas
    @Douglas

    Speaking of Thor, I’d lay a bundle of cash that the people demanding a culturally correct cast for Gods of Egypt were yelling “It’s just a movie!” when audiences went “Uh, why is a black guy playing a Norse god?”. Bet they have no problem making Jimmy Olson a black guy on Supergirl, either.  Bet they also thought making Idris Elba James Bond was just a fabulous idea. Cultural appropriation!

    • #21
  22. Kaladin Inactive
    Kaladin
    @Kaladin

    The Iliad would be a snoozefest.  Mostly Achilles crying about being slighted and the gods mucking about behind the scenes and peeing in each others’ shoes.

    But where is the Odyssey?  Phenomenal story, loads of interesting adventures.  Super cool and clever protagonist Odysseus.  Bad to the bone female lead Penelope. The made for TV mini series from the 90’s wasn’t too bad if I remember correctly, but I am afraid to watch it again.

    Two of my favorite old literature stories the Odyssey and Gulliver’s Travels only made for tv in the 90’s, meanwhile modern day garbage like the Hunger Games gets the full budget.

    • #22
  23. Douglas Inactive
    Douglas
    @Douglas

    Kaladin:The Iliad would be a snoozefest. Mostly Achilles crying about being slighted and the gods mucking about behind the scenes and peeing in each others’ shoes.

    My memory of the Iliad seemed to be that most of it involved Greeks and Trojans chopping each others limbs off for ten years without much of a break in between the fighting. I especially liked the details telling you who sliced off what limb, and where it went flying.

    • #23
  24. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Douglas: My memory of the Iliad seemed to be that most of it involved Greeks and Trojans chopping each others limbs off for ten years without much of a break in between the fighting.

    Well, a few weeks of a 10-year-long war.

    Douglas: I especially liked the details telling you who sliced off what limb, and where it went flying.

    First time I read it, I was downright amazed at the level of violence. By which I mean, I absolutely ate it up.

    • #24
  25. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Tom Meyer, Ed.:

    Douglas: My memory of the Iliad seemed to be that most of it involved Greeks and Trojans chopping each others limbs off for ten years without much of a break in between the fighting.

    Well, a few weeks of a 10-year-long war.

    Douglas: I especially liked the details telling you who sliced off what limb, and where it went flying.

    First time I read it, I was downright amazed at the level of violence. By which I mean, I absolutely ate it up.

    I hate violence.  That’s why I read it in the original Greek.  I didn’t understand a word.

    • #25
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