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I’m sorry, but really this breakup is final. You’ve been unfaithful to me for months, dallying with others while making only token teasing efforts in a vain attempt to convince me that you’re even still paying attention. You’ve been running hot and cold now for 3 months, only showing up when another is making her frankly more pleasant expressions of affection known. Life is too short for me to keep dealing with your teasing ways, so I’m moving on. As far as I’m concerned, our relationship ended at the holidays. You did not even show up for my birthday, instead cavorting with others hundreds of miles away. I know, I saw the pictures you were tagged in on Facebook, and the happy faces of the others whose lives you graced. I even saw them building a snowman with you when you had sworn we’d at least have a few exclusive days together in February. As far as I’m concerned, you walked out first, and I’m not taking you back.
Now again you tease and promise to fly in tonight, but we both know the only time you’ll spare is a few token hours of flirting and teasing before you melt away and leave me to clean up the mess. There will be no passion to it, just a perfunctory dance of half-remembered maneuvers. And your rival is daily flirting with me, bringing me flowers, songs, and energetic storm-tossed nights, while you rage and bellow in far off places. She caresses my hair and embraces me fondly while you slap my hands and burn my ears with your wild and now meaningless scoldings. She brightens my days with the sunshine of her presence, while your erratic arrivals cast a pall and leave behind salty trails of tears on my paths.