Tag: sarcasm

Member Post

 

Joe Biden is not someone you would want to mess with, unless you don’t mind finding a dead dog on your front porch. He’s quite the storyteller. Some of them might actually be true. I’m waiting for the story from the Godfather of Tall Tales to tell us that he placed not just one severed […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

Putin’s Bittersweet Moment In Beijing

 

Vladimir Putin was invited to the opening ceremony for the Winter Olympics by President Xi Jinping. Russia is not competing as a nation this year due to a state-sanctioned doping scandal. They are competing as the ROC (Russian Olympic Committee). No Russian flags for any Russian medalists.

As the parade of nations entered the stadium with their flags, I was reminded of the unwrapping of Christmas gifts scene in the iconic movie, A Christmas Story. Ralphie’s little brother Randy exclaimed, “That’s mine, that’s mine” as he examined each package under the tree.

San Francisco City Council Wants a Name Change

 

See the source image In an announcement today, the San Francisco City Council is asking the San Francisco Giants to rename their ballpark. Klepto Park is the proposed name change to honor the hardworking shoplifters in San Francisco.

Walgreen Park was suggested, but Walgreens’ future in San Francisco seems to be disappearing, as stores are closing due to theft losses. Safeway Park was in the running, but Safeway has cut back on its hours due to theft in San Francisco. This drew some criticism from council members. Council critics felt that limiting the hours for shoplifters that like to sleep late placed them at a looting disadvantage.

The city council also requested that after each stolen base, a special fireworks display be provided by the Giants, and the most prolific shoplifter in the city receive a lifetime pass to all Giants games.

Member Post

 

White House operator: How may I direct your call? You wish to speak to the President. Your name please. Thank you Mr. Cornpop. I’m sorry he’s not available right now, may I take a message? So you would like the address of the high school gym where President Biden was going to meet President Trump, […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

DC Confidential

 

News that you can use.

President Maduro of Venezuela called to congratulate President Biden on his efforts to Caracasize the United States. White House staff said it was cordial call, and President Biden politely declined the invitation to visit Caracas. Rumor has it that President Biden said; Why go to Caracas when I can visit Chicago, Portland, Seattle, and Baltimore. He told Maduro he’s misplaced his passport, but as soon as he finds it he plans to visit the southern border of the United States.

Let’s Quit Fooling Around with the Minimum Wage

 

I propose that Amazon, Google, Walmart, Home Depot, Apple, Nike and any other large national corporation must pay their employees $300-an-hour, to include their janitorial staff. This would include the hot dog vendor at Dallas Mavericks games. Mark Cuban can afford it.

This would allow mom and pop businesses that will have to pay a government-mandated wage of $15-an-hour a chance to compete against the big guys. After all, that $200 hammer at Home Depot will not look as attractive as a $15 hammer at Pop’s Hardware store.

Underprepared for the Capitol Riots, Overprepared for the Inauguration

 

In earlier posts, I put forth my take on the lack of a plan for the January 6th riot that took place in the Capitol building in Washington DC. I’ve been following the news on what happened, I’ll call it the under-reaction on January 6th. Now there seems to be an overreaction for the inauguration of Joe Biden.

The FBI has now been walking-back the story of capture and assassination teams breaching the Capitol. The Norfolk FBI office states that they issued warnings, yet the DC office has been silent on whether they were aware of warnings and warned the Capitol police of those warnings. The agent in charge in Norfolk may be on his way to Billings, Montana in the very near future if Democrats in Congress have their way. One must not disturb the narrative.

Happy Thanksgiving

 

When our daughter graduated from the police academy we found a doormat like the one in the photo. She still has it even though she has moved on from police work.

This Thanksgiving the petty tyrants; from mayors to governors, are telling you not to celebrate the holiday with relatives and friends. Some are threatening to use police officers and deputies to issue fines and/or arrests too, including jail time if they find more than four to six people in a home.

Member Post

 

Planned Parenthood employee expresses outrage over President Trump removing his mask upon his return to the White House. She called it an outrage and a display of contempt for those that died due to Covid-19. She cited his lack of empathy for the deaths of thousands of Americans whose lives were destroyed by a virus. […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

If I Were King of the Internet, I Would Mandate the Percontation Point⸮

 

Satire. Irony. Sarcasm. The written word seldom conveys these things well enough to tell them from someone’s making a serious statement or proposal. (This has even been codified and is now known as Poe’s Law.) Distinguishing serious from ironic is a very old problem, and one that was solved in about 1580. It was in that decade that Henry Denham, an English printer, came up with a solution. His idea was to have a new mark of punctuation that would distinguish when someone was not serious. That mark was the percontation point, and it looked like this: ⸮.

Thus, were I the King of the Internet, you would be mandated to use the percontation point⸮ It would probably be the only punctuation available to such publications as The Onion or The Babylon Bee. And maybe some mistakes would no longer be made:

Of Apples and Trees

 

My dad recently sent me an heirloom: A handwritten note from one of my elementary school teachers, written in the early ’80s. The content of her note can be summarized in the phrase “We need to talk.” My dad also included his handwritten notes from the phone conversation.

Here are the highlights, in case they’re hard to read:

  • Gives dumb answers to get a laugh
  • Not embarrassed by his [inappropriate] actions
  • Sloppy attitude
  • Mondays are the worst
  • Goofing off
  • Hiding under the table [to impress] a girl
  • Going to the office
  • Pushed a kid into the mud

And so on…

Member Post

 

As the Three Queens of the Orient have been speaking out against the status quo, they are making themselves known. You know them: Ilhan Omar from Somalia, Rashida Talib whose family came from Palestine, and Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez. Oh, you say AOC isn’t an Orient Queen. Well, let’s not quibble; I’m sure her friends would be […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

Member Post

 

You become an adult and you think you know it all, but then are startled to find out that what you always believed is wrong. Some new ideas that took me by surprise in the new millennium:  1. Communism wasn’t really that bad. Conservatives were reactionary in the sixties, seventies, and eighties and started wars […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

Member Post

 

Kraft Heinz Foods will close 7 plants throughout North America in order to save money. Kerry and his fabulously wealthy 2nd wife, Teresa Heinz, largest Heinz stockholder, gave no comment as they sailed off to register their yacht in another state. No word yet from President Obama, Kerry’s boss. Limousine-Liberal outrage has been held back […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

Jumping the Snark

 

reallyThe internet features lots of snark, but precious little wit. Spend any time on social media, and you’ll find that most confuse the two.

Wit is defined as “the keen perception and cleverly apt expression of those connections between ideas that awaken amusement and pleasure.” Snark is “to be critical in a rude or sarcastic way.” Of course, sarcasm and rudeness can be funny, but the problem with most snark is its purely negative intent. Don Rickles is obnoxiously rude but everyone knows he doesn’t mean it. And funny sarcasm contains a wink to the recipient that it’s all in good fun. But snark holds the subject in contempt and the goal is harm him while virtue-signaling to the cool kids.

David Denby wrote an entire book about snark, aptly titled Snark, where he describes it as “that nasty combination of snide and sarcasm that goes beyond irony and satire to just plain ugliness.”

Member Post

 

Welcome to the PIT, the seedy underbelly of Ricochet.  I’m Whiskey Sam, and I’ll be your tour guide to degradation for the next 90 days.  Who gave  the keys to the monkey?  I was drafted volunteered  after learning they were looking for someone warped enough to think keeping the PIT going is a good idea. What is […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

Member Post

 

In the acrimonious aftermath of the 2012 elections, things got pretty heated here in Ricoland. 10cents started a post called “People I Hate On Ricochet” as a joke-oil over troubled waters as it were-where other members could dive right in and start slinging over the top outrageous insults at each other, thus earning the nickname […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

Member Post

 

In case you missed it, PIT4.0 has hit 5k.  If you have missed it, then your alerts are broken or you shamefully un-followed the post. However, we failed to break Rico 2.0, so we’re trying again.  This is your Golden Opportunity to get in on the ground floor, or at least the parking garage of […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.