Over the last few years, many of us have expressed our desire to pray for others who have been the victims of savagery, storms, illness and other kinds of suffering. There are times when we can do other things—make donations, help make repairs, offer words of comfort. It occurred to me, though, how much I rely on praying for others as a way to not only offer solace to them, but as a way to relate to G-d and comfort myself. And yet at one time, I didn’t know what praying for others meant.

I grew up in a barely Jewish family that didn’t speak of prayer or of G-d. We did attend High Holiday Services and decorated for Chanukah. I was even sent to Hebrew and Sunday schools. But even there I don’t remember talking about prayer. At services, of course, there were many prayers to recite; when I returned to Judaism, I was amazed at the number of prayers I remembered just from my exposure to them as a child at synagogue. But they were simply verses I recited, rather than my relating to them in a spiritual way.