Tag: Parody

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I recently visited a friend’s new home. After the tour, he showed off how his Alexa could be used to turn lights on and off, arm and disarm his intruder detection system, and order stuff. To test it, I said, “Alexa, order me a black Porsche 911 Turbo S.” She answered, “Bite me.” Okay, I […]

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This will be my last entry in this mini-posting series. It has to be—my account funds are rapidly dwindling. Nonetheless, I did have enough left over to purchase one last robot—a male version. No, it’s not what you think. My spouse decided she wanted to get in on the action, so I purchased the “Felix” model […]

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As some of you know, I’ve been delving into the world of sex robots in order to give feedback to Ricochetti who are into buying this cutting-edge, high tech stuff (and for those of us married guys who feel as if we’re preparing for the priesthood). This time, I decided to try the Hillary Clinton […]

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Promoted from the Ricochet Member Feed by Editors Created with Sketch. The Graven

 

Once upon a Thursday evening, with spirit spent and eyeballs bleary,

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Since I’ve retired, I’ve decided to do research on various topics, then post the results on Ricochet. For my first project, I’ve decided to look into promising new technology—in particular, sex robots. However, they cost a lot, so I’ve decided to open a GoFundMe account to help defray the expense. Yes, I’m dipping my toe […]

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Given Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee’s comments on the “Mars Landing” (along with her incredible track record of other stupid statements), this is a scenario that could have been: Our scene opens with Congresswoman Lee in one of the mission control centers at the Johnson Space Center in Houston. The monitors show all of the official […]

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Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. The Donald Trump Classic Audio Book Library

 

And now a word from our sponsor. My name is Donald Trump, I’m proud to introduce my library of the best classics of Western Civilization. Enjoy these terrific, classic, wonderful books, bound in best Texas Longhorn leather, it’s really fantastic with gold leaf on the page edges, it’s really sharp. They’ll look great on your shelves, just perfect. Plus if you order today I’ll include these really great audio tape books as read to you by me. Now how many of you can say you’ve got the President of the United States reading these really classic, great, wonderful, and superb, really the best books that Western Civilization has brought to you. Everything from this Dickens fellow, to, ah, Shakespeare, Dante, some really great Greeks (trust me, these guys know their stuff and make pretty good masons too, got a guy doing a marble platform for the toilet in master suite in the White House), and even The Art of the Deal.

Just take a listen to some of these fine, just really fantastic excerpts. I mean, Obama cranked out a bunch of his lousy speeches to hawk on the Queen, which is really pathetic, when he coulda’ used that smooth icy voice of his to read out some of these just fantastic, and frankly better, stronger, and more elegant things. Definitely better things than you’ll get on Clinton New Network. Anyways, enjoy, and listen all the way through for a special offer for you early bird types.

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In a thread on the Charlottesville violence, @misthiocracy posted the following flyer, noting it might be an anti-antifa false-flag agitprop: Preview Open

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Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Hillary at 100 Days

 

Notes from an alternate timeline… Perhaps the most surprising revelation in Hillary’s first 100 days has been the budget deal cut by the Republican House. After three months of threatening a government shutdown, the current budget deal (assuming it isn’t voted down by the Senate) represents an enormous set of concessions. While Hillary and the Democrats lost a huge amount of face when both their demands for a 0.5% rise in the payroll tax (ostensibly to prop up failing Obamacare exchanges) and a 1.5% rise in the top three personal income tax tiers were rejected, the Republican Party too lost a substantial amount of credibility when it agreed to continue funding Planned Parenthood while bailing on its “red line” to increase military spending. Financial markets have reacted predictably as both the Dow and NASDAQ continued their six-month slide into malaise.

The administration meanwhile has been fending off claims of “another jobless recovery” by opening investigations into firms for “unfair capital management practices,” a term they are using to describe firms who continue to sit on earnings. Press Secretary Madonna quipped at yesterday’s conference “It’s not their money, it belongs to their workers and to you!” However, there are already rumors circulating that companies who have donated substantially to the Clinton Foundation have had their investigations closed abruptly, a claim dismissed by foundation director Chelsea Clinton as “like, totally bogus.”

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Okay, “Born to be Wild” is the biker’s anthem. I was a biker until about 1995, when I sold my fully decked out Kawasaki KZ-1000 shaft drive touring bike. Every time I think about selling that bike I get . . . (excuse me, wiping away tears). Anyway, The Donald has a new song (to […]

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It has come to my attention that Melania is going to launch a singing career. My hacker program ParodyPlus managed to download this song she recently recorded. Unfortunately the audio was garbled, but the lyrics were attached to the file. Here are the words (sung to the tune of “Thank Heaven for Little Girls”):   […]

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 Speaker of the House, House of Representative, United States Congress  Dear Santa Claus—How is Mrs. Claus? Rudolf? All is well I hope. Thanks for the awesome All Oatmeal Diet cookbook last year, but you know what I want this year? Bear Archery Bruzer Crossbow Package with Scope. Thank you, Paul Preview Open

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I might as well come clean, since I’m part of The Powers That Be (TPTB) and admit it: we’re aiming to cull the membership. It won’t be anything like as spectacular as the Red Wedding or The Night of the Long Knives (our lawyers were adamant on this, both due to an aversion to blood, […]

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Hello, Ricochet people. President-Elect Donald J. Trump here. Wait . . . Ricochetti? That’s what they’re called? Kellyanne just told me that’s what you people like to be called. No matter. I’ll call you what I want . . . losers!  What? Okay, now she said I wasn’t being fair, that it was the Ricochet […]

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Kraft Heinz Foods will close 7 plants throughout North America in order to save money. Kerry and his fabulously wealthy 2nd wife, Teresa Heinz, largest Heinz stockholder, gave no comment as they sailed off to register their yacht in another state. No word yet from President Obama, Kerry’s boss. Limousine-Liberal outrage has been held back […]

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