In an article I recently posted about divorce, someone commented that breaking up is the best option if you’re dealing with mental illness: “While you can be legally married to someone that is mentally ill, you cannot actually be married to them. This is because marriage is a “peer” relationship and you cannot have a peer relationship with someone that is (or even claims to be) mentally ill. You are forced into a ‘caretaker’ relationship with that person. I recommend that you accept that you are divorced in fact, and get divorced legally. Then get on with the business of having a happy life.”

Setting aside any situation that involves abuse (both physical and emotional), dealing with someone who is mentally ill takes strength, courage, and longsuffering—character traits most of us don’t have in abundance. It also takes sacrifice. That is never easy.

Like the commenter said, when your spouse suffers from a mental illness (or any long-term illness), your marriage has changed. It’s no longer two people giving equally; you have become a caretaker— giving and often receiving very little in return. The result can be discouragement, exhaustion, and hopelessness (and that’s if the mentally ill person recognizes their condition and is getting treatment; it’s an entirely different story if you’re dealing with someone who is mentally ill and refuses to get help).