Tag: Marriage

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This post was inspired by a @midge comment on a penetrating and erudite @fredcole Food Storage Container post.  – and brought to you by  RICOCHET™ Home of Center-Right Domestic Discussion.  The comment in question, “Robbing others of what little joy they do get out of doing housework is a time-tested strategy for getting to do all the housework yourself,” reminded me […]

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Clearing the Search History

 

A few weeks ago I panicked. I rarely ever panic. I was sitting at the kitchen table, researching and writing. I usually sit facing the windows with my back to the room – kids playing and doing assignments behind me, often coming to ask questions every few minutes – math, handwriting assignments, the nature of Infinity Stones, monoglycerides…you know, life.

I typed what I thought was an innocuous inquiry into my search engine and was immediately blasted with a full page of hardcore pornography of the worst kind. My heart raced and I began to feel the heat of terror in my neck. I d­idn’t know what to do and the milliseconds ticked away. My first thought was of my kids playing behind me. Were they seeing this, or were they occupied? I couldn’t tell because I was turned the other way. My next thought was my wife. She was in the bathroom, also behind me. What would happen if she came out and saw my screen? Would she believe me when I told her it was an accident? So many times in years past it hadn’t been. What would happen now?The clock was ticking. It had been almost a full three seconds and I still wasn’t sure what to do. I saw a couple of the images before I bounced my eyes away – a tactic learned through hard experience. Should I close the page? My computer is notoriously slow to close pages. Back button? Minimize it? Where are the kids right now?

I decided I’d grab the laptop up off the table and spin around to keep the kids from seeing it. Five seconds had passed. Now I stood in the kitchen with a laptop full of porn on the screen and I heard the toilet flushing. My wife would emerge from the door across from me any second. This looks really, really bad. But I didn’t want to look back at the screen. God help me. I decide to summon the discipline to look at the top bar only and hit the minimize button. Now what?

I Will!

 

I must admit that I was, rather uncharacteristically, at a loss as to what to write about today, so I noodled around on Google (goodled around on Noogle?) for a bit, looking up various iterations, in various forms, of the subject of Will, and it occurred to me at one point that the most recent Royal Wedding has ignited a rather unexpected debate on various “mommy blog” and social networking sites. A debate on a topic I last thought seriously about myself exactly 37 years, one week, and six days ago.

To put it plainly: People are talking about the proper way to celebrate and bless a marriage, and why Harry and Meghan said “I will” at a crucial time, rather than “I do.”

Now, you may rate the importance of this topic, in your own mind, somewhere down there with Liliput’s Big-Endian/Little-Endian controversy, but I’m a bit of a language nut aficionado, so it caught my interest.

Sustaining Love

 

In a recent essay by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, he quoted David Brooks (yes, that David Brooks as far as I can tell) on the way a person maintains his or her love for another. Brooks said:

My favourite definition of commitment is falling in love with something and then building a structure of behavior around it for the moment when love falters. [Italics by R. Sacks]

I was moved by this practical and profound observation. It reminds me of those times when young people ask me when they’ll be able to stop working so hard at the relationship with a significant other, and I answer, “Never.” Personally, I would not use the word “work,” because that commitment comes out of devotion and dedication, not out of obligation. But in life, love can falter or be challenged, and we must decide whether or not we are in for the long haul.

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“A Quiet Place” is a post-apocalyptic horror/thriller movie about a family trying to survive from monsters that hunt by sound. The characters do not talk very much, but their actions speak volumes about family. It is one of those rare movies that has a nuclear family and shows the value of family and sacrifice. Major […]

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I don’t mean to sound like Admiral Motti aboard the Death Star in a New Hope but the attempt by feminists to organize a nation wide sex strike for the purpose of defending the institution of abortion is a useless gesture. That is not to say that a sex strike could not work or to […]

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I think the big picture is, If we as a society agree that we can’t manage to interact with our fellow citizens (in personal or commercial relationships, either one) without the federal government always coming in and mediating those relationships for us, then the outcomes in particular cases will sometimes go in favor of the […]

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A Modern Day Cinderella

 

I got up in the middle of the night for Diana and Charles’ wedding in 1981. I watched Kate Middleton and Prince William exchange vows. Then I staggered in at 3:34 AM Central to watch Prince Harry take Meghan Markle as his princess.

I realized I could have slept in another two hours, but they said people camped out for days! Thousands lined the roads to Windsor Castle. Major networks were broadcasting from every angle, which was a challenge, given all those hats! 

Kathy Lee Gifford was broadcasting in a little feathered number, only with a stuffed goose on top! Yes. that’s her sidekick, Meghan Kelly. The large parade of celebrities, friends, and a long line of royals finally took their seats, as a beautiful harp was strummed.

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Abraham Lincoln once said “If destruction be our lot we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen we must live through all time or die by suicide.” He was right, and in the west, we have created a monster that is killing our society from the inside out. The killer […]

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I was going to write an interesting, clever story for Earth Day on the Great Barrier Reef, after watching a truly stunning three part documentary by David Attenborough, until the you-tube video of same name that I wanted to post, filled my inbox with more Spam than a Hawaiian sandwich deli. Then, well…life intervened and produced […]

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Another Democrat Senator Questions Trump Nominee’s Religious Views

 

In confirmation hearings for Secretary of State nominee Mike Pompeo, Senator Corey Booker chided the Presbyterian Sunday School teacher for holding to the same view of same-sex marriage that most Americans held just a few years ago. Pompeo, you will be shocked to learn, is against it.

The senator went on to justify his marriage questions by alluding to the persecution of homosexuals in other countries. Here is a part of their exchange, according to The Federalist:

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On April 5, 1950, my parents began an incredible life together. They shared joy, struggle and most of all, love. They loved God, each other, their children and America. Through everything this world could throw at them, they held strong to each other. The most valuable things in life can’t be purchased; they can only […]

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Marriage and Love In high school my friend Josh and I once discussed marriage and love. Was true love even real? Do people marry other people for reasons of character or more material considerations? Was anyone even capable of keeping their virginity for marriage? He and I had different answers to these questions. Preview Open

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Fighting for Truth on Two Fronts

 

This is a story of fighting for truth. On two fronts: Providence College and Ireland.

When you have no argument, you do other things. You bully. You shout slogans. You attribute evil motives. You deflect attention from what is said. You do everything except address the actual point, which in Dominic’s case is whether marriage is what nature and God show it to be.

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Here is one of my very favorite sonnets, written by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I discovered this one in high school, and it made my teenager heart go all aflutter…even though I didn’t have any experience that could come close to the one referenced in the piece. But, as I have aged, fallen in love, […]

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Christianity and Eros: Essays on the Theme of Sexual Love, by Philip Sherrard, first published in 1976, is a modest attempt by an Orthodox theologian to begin to address the “sacramental potentiality of sexual love” from a Christian perspective, to correct what the author sees as several ways Christian thought has mis-stepped or erred over […]

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Are Women Prizes for Men to Win? “Cat Person” Says No

 

@henryracette ends a recent editorial with a plea to “re-establish the idea that women are, once again, prizes to be won by men.” I’m sure Henry means well by this, but women playing the role of men’s sexual prizes strikes me as part of the problem, not the solution, at least where women’s regrets about sex are concerned. Besides the fact that a man who believed he had “earned his prize” might be less inclined to take “no” for an answer, the short story “Cat Person” suggests that women seeing themselves as a sexual prize for men may be yet another prompt for women to “bestow” the “prize” of themselves unwisely, simply to gratify their own image of themselves as men’s “prize”.

Margot is the protagonist of “Cat Person.” Margot, a college student, flirts with Robert, an older man who’s no Master of the Universe. Robert’s not ripped, or powerful, or wealthy, just an ordinary Joe Margot met by chance, a Joe whom Margot knows little about, despite the two of them having struck up an elaborate texting correspondence. Robert, who says he has two cats, is a beguilingly witty texter. In person, though, Robert seems awkward, less than what Margot hoped from their texting. At times, Margot even seems to judge Robert as a loser, and yet she sleeps with him. Why? Chiefly, it seems, because she falls under the spell of her own vanity: she sees herself as Robert’s prize and falls in love with herself in that role.

What arouses Margot most about Robert isn’t Robert himself, but how Robert sees her. It’s not until she believes he has treated her “as though she were something precious” outside a 7-Eleven that she begins to feel “a sparkly lightness… the sign of an incipient crush.” The next moment she feels magic with him in person (and not via text) likewise focuses on how she sees Robert seeing her:

In Banter’s sixth installment of the “Bridging the Dignity Divide” series, Chris Karpowitz and Jeremy Pope joined the show to discuss the results of the third annual American Family Survey, cosponsored by Deseret News and Brigham Young University. The survey covers a range of issues facing American families today, including economic challenges, cultural concerns, health care priorities, immigration, and addiction. Karpowitz and Pope are codirectors of the Center for the Study of Elections and Democracy at BYU. They participated in the survey release event at AEI, hosted by AEI Senior Fellow Karlyn Bowman. The link below will take you to the full event video.

About the “Bridging the Dignity Divide” Series

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This was written as a response to this article by Rod Dreher: http://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/failsons-and-the-women-who-love-them Given that it turned into more of an essay (or a long rant) then a comment, I figured I’d post it here. Apologies in advance…actually no. No apologies.  Preview Open

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