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Animal Control Officers, Episode 9: ‘A Dancing Dodo? Seriously?’
Our morning started with a call to extract a pint-sized pachyderm from a local homeowner’s basement. It had interrupted the homeowner’s 10-year-old’s birthday party to the great delight of the attending young boys. We successfully reunited it with its owner, a nearby zoo where someone had left the gate open.
I’m Animal Control Officer Sargent Joe Tuesday and this is my partner Bill Cannon. We get interesting calls here in Minnesota, where the suburban meets the wild– uninvited wild animals in un-wild places, or pets creating mayhem and mischief. Those are routine. But every once in a while we get a real head-scratcher. We were back at the office completing the paperwork on the elephant in the basement when the phone rang.
It is a commonplace of modern rhetoric to exalt diversity and inclusion as a first step toward racial justice. 
There have been stories about lawyers and trials for as long as there have been lawyer jokes – maybe longer. So why would they not continue into the future? Why wait for that future to arrive before writing them?
Let me start by telling you a story. Mr. @MattBalzer and I, we make board games. One of these games we call the Presidential Rumble. You play as one of history’s greatest presidents in the midst of a knock-down drag-out election against each other, marshaling characters from the past and laying claim to the symbols of liberty. You get some pretty great things going on; in one game Martin Luther King Jr. named Frank Sinatra to the Supreme Court. In another, Joe McCarthy declared Tecumseh to be a communist. You’ll frequently see the FBI confiscate the Constitution as evidence or the EPA declare the Statue of Liberty to be polluting and destroy it.
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