“In the long run we’re all dead.” So said economist John Maynard Keynes. I speak for us all when I say the long run can’t come soon enough. We needn’t go into details. It’s evident humanity is irrevocably screwed-up, civilization was a mistake, and it’s only a matter of time before Hollywood finds your favorite film and remakes, reboots, and prequelizes it. Worst of all is there’s nothing we can do about it. Seppuku never caught on—even the Japanese are too busy fending off demon-possessed schoolgirls to disembowel themselves—and cyanide is too expensive for the poor who deserve death equally as much as the rest of us. Our remaining hope for the world being put out of its misery is if Joe Biden trips and smacks his forehead on the red button which, to be fair, is a distinct possibility.

Until armageddon comes, numb yourself with some of my thoughts. This is a sequel to a post I wrote last year and judging by the film and video game industries, there’s nothing more beloved than sequels. So relax, inject some Cat III directly into your brain for temporary relief from the agony of life.