Tag: January Failure

The Last Possible Good Failure

 

shutterstock_90261658I’d probably make a lousy prostitute, I concluded. Time to swallow my pride and move back home. 

It wasn’t my parents’ fault. Almost always, children have to be taught to be less whiny, not more. Virtuous parents rightly hold up stoicism as a model for their children’s behavior. Most problems you face at any given moment will eventually go away if you simply toughen up. Unbending persistence in the face of pain is the key to ultimate success.

Except when it isn’t. Looking after my respiratory problems – which, after all, could be life-threatening – would have been enough for any parent. When I began having funny aches in my bones, too, my parents said, “It’s just growing pains. Have another banana.” Or, “Walk it off.” Or, “You must’ve slept on it funny.” They said this day in and out for years. And I took their advice like a good girl, stifling whining and backchat, day in and day out for years. Eventually I got sick of bananas, though much addicted to long walks by myself, especially in chilly weather, when the numbing ache of the cold obliterated other sensations.

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(No, this isn’t another breadmaking anecdote.) My non-existent classical education makes waxing philosophical dangerous, because someone has always said it before, better – feel free to send me such links in the comments, and I will feel suitably abashed.  But, unless you REALLY want to hear the story of my colossally expensive but entirely useless washdown […]

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January Failure Today happens to be my 45th Birthday. Based on actuarial tables, I am more than half way done with my adventure on this Earth. My Failure goes back to second grade. It was there, struggling with math and spelling my teacher suggested to my parents that I get tested. They did. And the […]

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After signing up for this month’s sock rally, I immediately began racking my brain for topics. My first thought was that no one wants to hear my sob stories; that I should focus on something more useful to people in general. But this might be one time it’s actually good to be self-referential.  Love requires […]

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