The Right Reverend Adam Schiff and his assorted Elders came to the well of the Senate to save the soul of America. That salvation it seems was in the hands of the pagan Senators who needed Righteousness to be adopted into their hearts. And so Rev. Schiff and the Elders, sent out by Her Holiness Nancy Pelosi, came to convert the Senators. They railed against the iniquity that was keeping Sinner Trump in the Holiest Shrine. They denounced the apostasy that was the questioning of the Holy Resistance and the gossip surrounding those earlier Holy Men who were exacting tithes and offerings from extending beneficences. They enlisted the aid of the Righteous Senator from New York to promote the message and advance the mission whenever possible. They reminded their fellow believers amongst the Senate as to what their religious obligations were.

For 11 days, the Rev. Schiff did direct battle with the unangelic hordes and girded his loins against the sinful depredations of the unholy. He spoke of the Testimony that brought him forth to the Senate and imprecated the Senate to seek their own Testimony if they were as yet unpersuaded. For only through the constant pressure of the realization of evil can the Nation be cleansed. So many have been lured into folly and are enjoying what they falsely believe is “the American Dream” — a world of industry and compensation, of family and community and well-being. They know not what danger their souls are in, denying the One True God of Progressivism. Only by giving Power to the Righteous Progressive Leadership can the people abjure their sinning and carefully, prayerfully, and solemnly come into righteousness and take their assigned position in society. “Embrace your grievances!” “Heal the Earth!” “Make way the Triumph of globalism!” cries the Elect. “Deny individuality!” “Turn away from self-reliance!” “Confess your sin of claiming ‘natural rights’!”

The behavior of Democrats over the past few years has grown more and more difficult to discern from satire. So, whenever I read something ridiculous, I think, “I wonder if this is a spoof? Hard to say.” But this quote from Adam Schiff during the impeachment trial is genuine. (If it’s not, please let me know, and I’ll edit my post accordingly.)

Apparently Mr. Schiff said the following, without giggling: “The president’s misconduct cannot be decided at the ballot box. For we cannot be assured that the vote will be fairly won.” A Democrat accusing a Republican of possible future voter fraud is too absurd to warrant a serious response. But several possible responses leap to mind, which would be more appropriately absurd.

For example, Donald Trump could say: