Tag: Humor

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Member Post

 

Welp, I wasn’t going to participate in this month’s Group Writing. But two things occurred: 1) Apple issued an IOS update which is even more annoying and intrusive than all the previous ones put together, and 2) @arahant bullied me into it as usual by threatening to post pictures that make me look fat. ahem […]

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Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter to My Glasses

 

Dear Spectacles,

I’m giving you fair warning here: I’ve had enough. Enough of your silly games. Enough of listening to you snicker as I stumble blindly around the house trying to find you after you’ve hidden away for the infinity-umpteenth time (borrowed that locution from my granddaughter who, when she was four, learned about the concept of infinity from her mother. Subsequently, when asked to do something she didn’t want to, she announced that the chances of her obeying the (sometimes direct) order were “infinity zero.”)

I’m sick and tired of breaking my little toes with that maneuver where four toes go on one side of the chair leg (which I can’t see) and my little toe goes on the other, and — Crack! Ouch! Just sick of it, understand? (By the way, you’ll be hearing from my lawyer about the last bloody occurrence, which took place right before Christmas. I’ve already sent him the photographic evidence. Watch this space.)

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Shocked and Offended – an Open Letter to the New Jersey Actuarial Society

 

The following letter, and the poor deluded fictional lady writing it, began as an inside joke:

Dear New Jersey Actuarial Society,

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Quote of the Day: On Life’s Vicissitudes

 

“Into each life, some rain must fall. But not into ours. Our lives are where the garbage is delivered.” — Jenny

Ever have one of those days, weeks, months, years, decades, when it seems as though almost nothing is going right? When the odds seem stacked against you? When, no matter how much joy the Divine Hash-Slinger seems to be shoveling out to others, everything that comes your way looks and tastes like an unpleasant leftover sandwich?

My family is on its fourth one of those. Fourth decade, I mean.

I have seen the future of the American presidency, and her name…is Oprah.

It’s another #MAGA Monday edition of the podcast, with actress and Trump advocate Shastina Eloff.

Just in time for Christmas! It’s the annual “Michael Graham Christmas Eve Radio Dance Party!” Perfect listening for family gatherings, Christmas parties, or torturing inmates at Guantanamo Bay.

Enjoy…and Merry Christmas!

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. A Southern (Comfort) Christmas and Other Quirky Stories

 

So, my husband was given a gift basket and a very nice cash bonus by his boss this week. When he brought home the basket, I said “Boy! This is a real Southern Christmas basket!” His boss and my husband left one company and went out on their own almost three years ago and it has been a great success, well over a million dollars already and no corporate stress.

His boss is a no-nonsense, conservative young Southerner who loves his family and the benefits of working hard. In the basket were some hand-painted salt dough ornaments from his small children, local honey, handmade soap, various homemade sugary treats, a bottle of top-shelf Kentucky bourbon and a mason jar with some hooch – white lightning! Christmas in the South!

I recalled when we took up residence in my husband’s grandmother’s small, tin-roof cottage one year, located on a mountainside in northwest Georgia. We had just left Boston and I couldn’t get used to the hustle that Atlanta had become. I missed the quiet of a New England town. The little cottage, with a red smokehouse, needed some TLC – the water pump didn’t work, there was a rumor of snakes that had gotten into the damn oven, (I think my father-in-law made that up to get a rise out of me) and I was up for the challenge.

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Bob Joins List of Alpha Dogs Accused of Sexual Misconduct

 

Well-known conservative, Bob the Dog, has been accused by 236 lady dogs of sexually inappropriate behavior. Trixie La Chihuahua claims she was among Bob’s early victims. After a night of bar-hopping, Bob had invited her up to his fancy apartment to see an original painting of “Dogs Playing Poker” when he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He came out a minute later wearing nothing more than a lascivious grin.

He then jumped on the bed and shamelessly rolled on his back, inviting Trixie to do the same. Stunned and embarrassed, Trixie still had enough presence of mind to pull out her iPhone and snap the photo to the right.

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In case you need a break from all the dark, hellish headlines recently, read the following story. It is guaranteed to garner a belly laugh because it mixes politics and well……let’s just say Humorist Ron Hart has a way of making a preventative medical procedure sound hilarious, especially combined with politics. Somehow the words politics […]

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The 2017 World Happiness Report released this week unexpectedly showed massive gains in personal happiness worldwide, and experts attribute the uptick to the fact that people increasingly care only about being able to criticize freely, and they have ample opportunities to do so. “Study after study shows that most folks today really only care deeply […]

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President Trump’s new strategy for Obamacare and the Iran Deal? Following the law. (And Democrats hate it)

Avik Roy on what Trump’s executive orders on Obamacare did–and didn’t–accomplish.

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Michael P. Ramirez Draws Harvey Weinstein

 

Fresh from the desk of Michael P. Ramirez:

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Yesterday, Mr. She and I had lunch with my stepdaughter and our nine-year-old granddaughter at an old-fashioned diner about half way between their house and ours. It was delightful. The highlight of the event was my granddaughter’s joke. I must confess, now she’s mastered the narrative technique, that I do miss her earlier efforts, which […]

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Summer’s last hurrah has finally abated The autumnal equinox thus celebrated Preview Open

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Today’s news has been very tough to take, so much sadness, but I just had a spontaneous laugh and so I thought I’d share. I’m on the HOA Board in my neighborhood and have been encouraging neighbors to pitch in and volunteer on small projects instead of hiring a contractor to save the dues for […]

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Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Quote of the Day: On Wheat and Chaff

 

Few American writers of the twentieth century so embody the quotably pungent and pithy in their prose as does Dorothy Rothschild Parker.

Google her name, and her often caustic, witty, gems just tumble out at you: “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”–“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.”– “She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B” (this from a review of a Katharine Hepburn performance in a Broadway play)–“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”–“What fresh hell is this?”–“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”–“I don’t care what anybody says about me as long as it isn’t true.”–“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.” And perhaps my favorite, which I can’t even include here (no, it’s not the one about the girls at the Yale prom).

But the DP quote I’ve chosen for today is one I particularly love. It comes, as did so much of her output, from a review of an item of cultural interest, in this case, a particular book: