Tag: Humor

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Two weekends ago, I was touched and pleased by Barkha Herman’s lovely post on my very humble self. The challenge was laid for me to respond in kind. This past week-and-a-half was super busy, with a large volunteer project taking most of my week, and playing catch up the rest of the days. Today is Wednesday already, […]

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Promoted from the Ricochet Member Feed by Editors Created with Sketch. Vodka: More Than Floor Polish

 

shutterstock_177572543This is the second in an occasional series concerning the role of vodka in Russian life and culture. It is offered primarily for its practical value, and not in the spirit of building bridges of peace and understanding through positive dialogue between peoples, and so forth. In my experience, positive dialogue and greater understanding are likely to lead to more mutual scorn, contempt and low regard, not less.

As I explained in the first post in this series, Russians have a deep and dysfunctional love affair with vodka. To a Russian, vodka is not just an efficient vehicle for delivery of alcohol into the bloodstream: it is an all-purpose tonic for life’s physical and spiritual ills.

But there’s more. Vodka is also the Swiss Army knife of distilled spirits. It is a sort of cross between holy water, peyote, and duct tape. The following is actual folk wisdom from the Russian internet regarding vodka’s many uses. Please understand, I am not claiming that it is good advice. I offer it for entertainment purposes only and make no representations or warranties regarding the safety or effectiveness of these uses. Also, by reading through to the end of this sentence, you agree to waive all claims of liability against me and assume all risk in connection therewith.

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The federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) has somehow managed to find time and surplus budget to fight a new battle along with their old standbys of preventing criminal background checks, preventing verification of American citizenship, striking down job-related competency testing, or disciplining any employee who isn’t a straight white male. Specifically, the EEOC is […]

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As if the people in Roseburg, Oregon haven’t suffered enough, Barack Obama and the Westboro Baptist Church both plan to descend on the community to push their personal political agendas. The people of Roseburg aren’t happy about the president coming because of his seeming inability to tell the difference between a coffin and a soapbox. […]

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The good folks at Grammarly.com (a super-duper online spelling and grammar checking service) have done another study comparing the online writings of Democrats and Republicans to see which group has the greater “richness” of language (defined as the greatest number of unique words in online postings). Their results: Democratic supporters’ vocabularies were 22.4% richer than […]

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Well that didn’t take long. Following a one-on-one meeting at the U.N. which gave Vladimir Putin the ability to measure the degree to which Barack Obama is a mewling pantywaist, the Russian dictator launched a surprise attack in Syria (after graciously ordering the United States to get the hell out of the way) on the […]

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At the time of this writing on Thursday evening, very little is known about the sicko who shot up a community college in Oregon (which had no armed security), snuffing out lives and dreams before the police ended his spree. We know that the shooter (whose name we won’t repeat here) was 26 years old, […]

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This could be even bigger for NASA than the whole “Muslim outreach” thing!   Preview Open

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Cecile Richards took to the stand yesterday to defend the federal funding of Planned Parenthood, during which time she conceded that her organization has never given a single mammogram, nor does it have the equipment for doing so. She stressed that her staffers do give breast exams, which we’re guessing involves groping while making “wobba-wobba” […]

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On Monday, Vladimir Putin met briefly with Barack Obama at the United Nations because he was hungry and wanted to eat the president’s lunch, drink his milk shake, and then gobble up other nations for dessert. Actually, we think that only happened metaphorically, but we’re not 100% sure because it’s hard to imagine President Dweebypants […]

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Yesterday on Meet the Press, Hillary Clinton revealed that when it came time to sort all of her personal emails (“Dear Chelsea, can’t talk now because your father is humping the help again”) from her vitally important, top secret, “lives hanging in the balance” Secretary of State emails (“Dear Ambassador Stevens, I can’t talk to […]

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Yesterday, Democrats defeated a Republican bill which would have made the most horrorific late term abortions illegal. And by “late term,” we’re largely referring to infants who could possibly survive outside the womb with proper medical care (22 weeks being the age cited by the NY Times referring to a new New England Journal of […]

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As a matter of fact, he would like to bring it to the White House! Preview Open

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Following a misunderstanding in which a Muslim high school student was briefly arrested for bringing a homemade clock to school which looked (to concerned authorities) like a bomb, Barack Obama has invited him to the White House in order to highlight the stupidity and racism of people who think that Muslims and/or bombs could ever […]

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Yes, this makes perfect sense to liberals. Preview Open

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When Hope n’ Change reflects on the anniversary of 9/11, we think of the New York skyline and are overwhelmed by the emptiness. Empty not just of the souls and structures which were once there, but a new and growing emptiness of resolve, national unity, and moral courage. Over fifty of our nation’s top intelligence […]

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There’s finally good news for the many liberals who’ve been curled up in the fetal position quivering and weeping since comedian Jon Stewart quit The Daily Show in order to pursue his passion for clubbing baby seals. And the good news for the comedy-starved is that Hillary Clinton’s handlers (not a job you want to […]

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