Imagine it: actor and outspoken conservative James Woods files a police report claiming he was assaulted on a sub-freezing night in Pocatello, ID, by two men wearing pussy hats and shouting “Enjoy the blue state model, cuz!” Woods believes that he was targeted for his political beliefs and is the victim of a hate crime. Additionally, he’s underpaid. Police conduct an investigation during the course of which evidence accrues that Woods was never attacked but instead has perpetuated a hoax. The considerable amount of incriminating evidence includes a check written to — and text messages exchanged with — his alleged assailants.

Woods, though seemingly in legal jeopardy, is suddenly gold again when Pocatello police and the local D.A. drop the matter like the kind of hot potato for which Idaho is famous, but not after conducting an investigation that cost taxpayers over $130,000. But all is not well for the actor: a subsequent special prosecutor investigation determines that Woods seemed to be getting special treatment from the local authorities, who are known to share Woods’ political sympathies. Woods, in other words, seemed to get a pass from authorities because his hoax was on the right side of history.

Worse still for the actor, the special prosecutor finds sufficient evidence to file new charges against him. Now on trial on six counts of disorderly conduct, Woods’ has a story to tell and, actor that he is, he’s sticking to it. White progressives, meanwhile, are confused as history has taught them to be accustomed to Democrats attempting to frame working-class immigrants of color for crimes that were, in fact, orchestrated by one of their own. Indeed, that’s one of the reasons they’re white progressives.