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The Joy of Being Used
Generosity is annoying. When a person is skilled or able in some way, others inevitably ask favors of him. A sense of charitable duty can make refusal difficult. Often, one is not feeling particularly generous when a loved one, coworker, or neighbor requests aid. Their needs are perceived as interruptions. But problems can’t be scheduled.
My brother is an IT wiz. It seems like hell. Anyone and everyone who runs into a problem even tangentially related to computers or electronics looks to him for help. To his credit, he always answers. With so many IT people offering free help to family and friends these days, it’s amazing anyone ever needs to pay for service!
My youngest sister is a physical terrorist… um, therapist. Everyone respects a knowledgeable physician, right? But the price of that knowledge is being the unpaid resource of every close acquaintance (and some distant ones, too). Family members don’t have to say a word. One just stands or moves awkwardly, and the help comes before anyone involved is ready for it. “Ouch! Um, I mean, thanks.”