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Quote of the Day: Friendship and Butterflies
I had eventually come to understand that friendship was a delicate, gradual process that mustn’t be rushed or seized upon but allowed and encouraged to take its course over time. I pictured it as a butterfly, simultaneously beautiful and fragile, that once afloat belonged to the air and any attempt to grab at it would only destroy it.–Daniel Tammet
When a friend of mine recommended that I read Daniel Tammet’s autobiography, Born on a Blue Day, I realized I was encountering a man who saw the world in a very different way than I did. At age 25, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, as well as a savant.
The beauty of Tammet’s condition is that it moves him sometimes to describe the world in unique and fascinating ways. His description of friendship was unlike anything I had read, and I was touched and intrigued by it. To think of friendship as something to be treated gently, and to be allowed to bloom over time was a sensitive and poignant way to see it. We don’t own our friends; we give them our commitment, but allow them freedom at the same time. In Tammet’s case, those who are on the spectrum sometimes have difficulties developing relationships; Tammet, from his stories, overcame that difficulty. The image of the butterfly was one of fragility and the ephemeral. I feel deeply about relationships, and these qualities describe my own experience.
I joined Ricochet on September 22, 2012. I was a “lurker,” dying to comment, so I took the plunge — and my comments were generally well-received. Bonus! I had found my home. Aside from a years-ago, moderator-interrupted dustup with 
I do not live on the computer, but I do live here. Ricochet is my home — and I ain’t going nowhere!
The title of this post is not just a philosophical statement. It is a living, breathing admonition of our culture, one that once fundamentally guided our decisions, our relationships, and our belief systems. Truth was the foundation of our education, of governance, and business. We all knew that it was not embraced by everyone—the liars, drama queens show up everywhere—but I believed they were the exceptions rather than the rule.
Today was my Sabbath, and it started out as it usually does. But as the day wore on, I found myself feeling the fog and heaviness of the virus: fines being charged in Osceola County for not wearing masks, for one.
were mostly holed up in their homes. (We live in a 55+ community.) They venture out occasionally, but have been socializing mainly in small groups. So, anticipating their reluctance to come over today, I was “uninviting” them; I realize some might still have wanted to come, but most would have been uncomfortable with the presence of so many people. (We were uneasy about it ourselves.)
When I first began to lament the absence of values in politics many years ago, I was told, in so many words, that’s politics. Get over it. Politics has followed its own set of rules forever, and that was simply the way things were. I should hold my nose and vote for the least bad candidate.
As the doorbell rang, I let go of the napkin I was fingering and hurried, then slowed down, as I walked to the door. Ted watched me from the other side of the room and smiled reassuringly. My heart felt as if it would leap out of my chest. I took a deep breath, paused at the door, put a smile on my face, and said a brief prayer. As I opened the door, Valerie was on the other side with a silly grin on her face.