Once upon a time, there was this girl who didn’t see the wall this guy had built around his heart. She didn’t see the battle scars, nor the pain, but instead she looked right through the injuries and into the guy’s very soul. And she said, “There you are! I’ve been looking for you!”

This is where we push the pause button on our story, which by the way is as factual an account as if it had descended from Mt. Sinai on a stone tablet, in order to pass along some happy news. Yesterday, surrounded by family, I knelt before a woman whom I thought only existed in my dreams, and asked her to marry me. She said yes, and quick as a flash before she had time to reconsider, I gave her a ring along with my heart, happily and eternally.

Now, following the doctrine of preemption, let me answer some questions before they are asked, and tell you about Shelley Allen, a woman so amazing, with such a graceful spirit, such a radiant countenance, whose quick wit and humor give me face cramps from laughing and whose captivating beauty leaves me speechless and…well… I’m getting ahead of myself. Here, let’s have an interview.