Tag: Dads

June Group Writing – Dads are Hot

 

Dads get little respect today. The foolish father is a stock element in sitcoms, the government treats fathers like the disposable element in families, even as dangerous. Your male buddies, especially the unmarried ones, razz you: you are no longer a free man, they say, you are tied down for the next twenty years, they say.

Yet, dads are vital. Boys need men around to grow into men. There is a difference between a man who knows how to use his strength to protect others and one that knows how to use it only to get what they want. It is the difference between a wolf and a guard dog. The example set by an engaged, caring father is the best way for a boy to learn what it is.

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Middling Thoughts for Youths from a Middle-Aged Dad

 
Two glorious specimens of the 1970s.

Let it be known that quite recently, on the 18th day of September in the year 2017, I, Jason Fox turned 45 years old. How this happened is a matter of basic science, but it still feels rather odd given that my inseam remains several inches greater than my waist. Like most men who aren’t complete narcissists, I thought I’d have done more by now. Done what, exactly, I’m not entirely sure of anymore. I think I had some dreams or goals back in the day, but God has a way of treating one’s to-do list more like an Etch-a-Sketch than a recipe. At least that’s how it’s been in my experience – your results may vary. Mysterious ways and all that.

Not that I have a big bucket of jackola to show for my time thus far on earth. Although my wife being awesome has very little to do with me. And my kids being awesome has, at most, half to do with me. But probably less. Still, credit is a fluid construct in these instances, so I’ll take whatever oozes my way. Even if “oozing credit” sounds like a leading economic indicator of a pending recession or the world’s worst clown-metal band.

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Haven’t Got a Gift for Dad Yet? Here’s What Not to Get:

 

The Man Hanger: This is a clothes-hanger… but for men. It’s “Bent by hand from industrial-grade rebar,” and costs $25 per hanger. For those emergencies where Dad finds his “manly attire too much for wimpy regular hangers.” Yes, some regular hangers are wimpy. Others are not and will take up less space in your closet than rebar. And they don’t cost $25 a pop. If Dad is planning to hang a side of beef in the closet, he might appreciate a rebar hanger for Father’s Day. But otherwise, all this gift tells Dad is that he failed to teach you the value of a buck.

$200 Smart Socks with Matching Anklet: Yes, smart socks are a thing. The most annoying thing you’ll ever own, given the tendency of socks to file for divorce in the laundry. Many women have trouble keeping their socks from divorcing, and not to gender stereotype or anything, but men are usually worse at this than women. In all likelihood, all a gift of “smart socks” does is waste a serious chunk of change on annoying the “lucky” father who receives them. Now you’ve gone beyond, “Dad didn’t teach me the value of a buck” to “Annoying Daddy is worth at least 200 bucks to me.”

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