Tag: Advice

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Lose Weight While Hedging Your Bets

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday, which means it’s time for Amelia Hamilton to answer all your questions about barbecue, diets, and privacy hedges.

Dear Amelia — When my husband and I decide to lose weight together I give up every good morsel, drink gallons of water, work out every day for a month, and lose half a pound. He goes to to the gym every day for a week, cuts soda, and loses five pounds. It’s not fair. How can I stay motivated and also punish my husband for this cosmic injustice? — Overweight and Over It

Dear Over It,

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday afternoon, and once again time for Amelia Hamilton to answer all your questions about Mamas, Mrs., and Mayonnaise.

What advice do you have for someone whose friend hates mayonnaise, and you suspect is anti-American and a likely communist sympathizer? — Joseph McCarthy

Dear Joe,
Anyone who hates mayonnaise is a good person and is to be prized above rubies. You also appear to have the political affiliations mixed up, but that is my reason for being — to set the readers straight. The earliest references to mayonnaise come from Alexandre Viard who is, as as you may have guessed, French. Who’s the anti-American communist now? (It’s you.)

Promoted from the Ricochet Member Feed by Editors Created with Sketch. Husband Husbandry

 

shutterstock_237586651We’ve been talking a lot about marriage and divorce around here lately. As someone who’s been married for almost 13 years with some very rough spots along the way, I feel like this is a topic about which I can speak authoritatively. In particular, I’d like to talk about a duty that primarily — though by no means exclusively — falls to wives: ego management.

I like to nap in my car over lunch, particularly during lovely weather like we’ve had lately in Kansas City. As I was trying to drift off Thursday afternoon, I heard a woman screaming into her phone. She was informing her husband in a vulgar fashion that his family hated her for no reason, she hated them, and that — while it was his responsibility to defend her — he was refusing to because he lacked testicular fortitude. I was sorely tempted to scream back in an equally vulgar fashion that if she wanted her husband to have testicles, she should stop performing double orchidectomy surgery.

The temptation to state that complex problems have in fact simple solutions is always present, but my life experience has taught me that a simple solution to many marriage challenges is proper ego management of one’s spouse. No matter how frustrated, how annoyed, how angry one may be with him, tearing him down is never the solution. The dishes will not get washed or the baby changed if he feels he cannot meet her standards. Resumes will not be sent out and job interviews will be wastes of time if he feels like a failure. If he feels like he has to ask permission for every penny, he will be far less inclined to work as hard or may spend extravagantly on the theory of “might as well earn my tongue-lashing.” And without feeling attractive to his wife, the marriage bed will be a place of frustration and disappointment.

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Gays, Gruyere and the Common Cold

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday afternoon, which means it’s time again for Amelia Hamilton to answer all your queries about gouda, same-sex weddings, and germy kids!

Dear Amelia, Some Republican candidates have been taken to task for opposing the legalization of same-sex marriage even though they still would attend same-sex weddings or events surrounding them when it comes to close friends or family members. I, too, oppose gay marriage, but have a friend who has invited me to his ceremony (which is not in a church, but officiated by a member of the clergy). I feel like I could attend the reception as a support of our friendship without supporting something destructive of the institution, but a lot of people disagree with me. How should I handle this? Should attend? Should I abstain? And what should I say to my friend either way?
Signed,
Respectful Dissenter

Dear Dissenter,
This is a tricky situation indeed. Presumably, your issue is with the religious implications of the word “marriage,” rather than with their partnership. If that is, indeed, the case, skip the wedding, go to the reception and celebrate this milestone in their relationship. There’s every chance that the brides or grooms will be too wrapped up in the wedding to remember who was at the ceremony, and they’ll see you when they have more time to socialize and celebrate their happiness at the reception.

Member Post

 

Not everyone get a chance to begin again, but sometimes the urge to do so is overwhelming, or the circumstances for the issue, or a window opens up. A friend of mine, at age 43, is about to enter medical school after working as a lawyer in the pharmaceutical industry for nearly 20 years. My […]

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Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Mayonnaise Is Thicker than Water

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday and Amelia Hamilton is here to answer your questions on co-workers, drinking, and mayonnaise… but not co-workers drinking mayonnaise.

Dear Amelia,
I don’t drink alcohol or coffee. Most first dates I get asked out on are for “a drink” or “coffee,” and it is awkward when I just get water. Any ideas for an equally casual first date?
— Tired of Dating Dilemmas

Dear Dating Dilemma,
The first thing that came to mind is not to order water. There’s no reason you can’t enjoy an iced tea, lemonade, or club soda on a date; it will be much less awkward and you don’t want to be the woman who had nothing but water on a date. What about meeting for an appetizer or dessert? That isn’t as long as dinner if things don’t go well, but enough time to get to know each other a little (and you can always drink water with your treat).
Otherwise, I’d suggest an “experience” date — go for a hike or wander the farmers’ market. Check out a local museum or whatever else you’re both into. Experiencing a shared interest is a great way to start out and, if the guy is a dud, at least you did something you enjoy.

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Shut Up and Sing

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday and it’s time for Amelia Hamilton to answer your most vexing questions about chatty teachers, unwanted guests, and good taste.

Dear Amelia,
I’m taking voice lessons, and my teacher spends the first 10-15 minutes of each hour talking about personal things. Her online dating fiascos (yes, the guy she has been speaking to on the phone is in prison for murder one), her son, being sick, etc. I don’t want to be rude to her, but we aren’t friends. I’m paying her for this time. How can I politely get her to stop using my time for her personal issues?
From,
Shut up and Sing

Dear Singer,

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Karma and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday and Amelia Hamilton is here to answer all your questions on lying men, vintage cars and the best time to make amends.

Dear Amelia,
I’m sensing my karma’s knocking. When is it too late to say, “sorry I was a wasteful, childish twit and I hope you’re doing great?”
@GWill29

Dear Grace,
It’s never too late to try. Get in touch and tell that person you’re sorry — extend the olive branch. What could it hurt?

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Diets, Boredom and the Perils of Exercise

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday afternoon, — time for Amelia Hamilton to answer readers’ vexing questions and curious queries!

Dear Amelia,
I hate exercising with a passion, but I live in Real Housewives of Orange County territory, and I’m the fat, plain housewife next door. I’d love to be the slightly less fat, plain housewife next door. Any tips for finding a workout routine that doesn’t make me wish I lived in Samoa?
— The Realistic Housewife of Orange County

Dear Housewife,

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Mothers-in-law and Food Frustrations

 

AskAmelia3It’s Friday and Amelia Hamilton is here to answer your questions on life, love, and sweet tea.

Dear Amelia,
My mother-in-law drives me nuts. What should I do?
Signed,
Every Husband Who Ever Lived

Dear Husband,
You maybe should have signed that “every married person,” as I also hear this regularly from the wives. By now everyone should know that when they marry a person, they marry that person’s family. Healthy boundaries are important in all relationships, including yours with your mother-in-law and your wife’s with her mother.

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Ask Amelia: Crafty Jerks, Bosses’ Wives, and Mortal Enemies

 

AskAmelia3Ask Amelia is back with her Friday column to help all of you resolve your interpersonal quandaries!

Dear Amelia,
My friend keeps wanting to hang out. She just commented on my latest post on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to come over this weekend for a craft. The problem is that her husband is the biggest jerk on the planet, and I want nothing to do with him. He could watch football with my husband while we craft, but he wants nothing to do with this jerk, either. How do I handle this?
— Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated,

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Member Post

 

Recently on the Chix PIT, there was some discussion of what gun is best for a new shooter. The shooter was directed to this thread from a few months ago, where I asked the same question. That led me to thinking: How would I answer that question now? The answer surprised me, because it goes […]

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Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Member Post

 

Dear Uncle Max, Christmas is coming, which means a visit from our crazy, tone-deaf uncle (also named, coincidentally, Max). Now, my lapsed Lutheran family may no longer believe in the reason for the season, but they do believe in singing Christmas carols, and coming from sturdy Lutheran stock, most are pretty good at it. Preview […]

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