Tag: 2018 January Group Writing

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter to Life

 

Dear Life,

I want to talk to you about scheduling. Quite frankly, you are horrible at it, and I am rather tired of having to work around your whims and last-minute life-altering snap decisions. A little fore-warning here, a bit more flexibility there, and a whole lot less monomaniacal insistence on your own self-importance would go a long way to restoring a more balanced relationship between you and me. This is not, and moreover should not be all about you all the dang time. My own needs and wants matter here too, and true compromise means that we need to share in the tradeoffs – compromise should not ever and always mean that I have to keep losing and giving things up.

More

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter to Cthulhu Cultists

 
It’s the apocalypse, so why don’t you put down the funny-sided dice.

Seriously, what in the hell are you all waiting for? I know you’ve had no choice but to hide in far-flung corners of the world: the ice deserts of the north, the remote bayous of the south, the D&D gaming tables in your moms’ basements, but know this: the time for you to organize is right now.

And I quote: “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.” — “In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.”

More

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. To (My) Roomba, with Love

 

Dear Roomba,

Okay sure, you roam around the house like Mr. Magoo, bumping into every single thing in the room. Yeah, you spend what seems to be an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. What are you doing in there? And yes, it took you more than a week to find my bedroom, and truth be told, I had to chase you into the room the first time by blocking your way to go anywhere else. But you find it now.

More

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter from a Dead Horse Beater

 

Dear World,

Don’t judge the relationship between me and my dead horse. Our beatings are safe, sane, and consensual. I am a medium in contact with my dead horse’s spirit, and I never beat my horse without her consent. Pain can be erotic and love knows no boundaries – neither gender nor number nor species nor even mortality.

More

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter to Gophers

 

To the gophers of the world:

You may fill a spot in the food chain, but your destructive habits are over the top. Week in, week out, I find your mounds in the yard or by one of our carefully selected, planted, and nurtured shrubs. As I walk across the property, my feet sink into your abandoned holes. Have you no decency?

More

Member Post

 

This post originally started out the following way: “Dear Committee Members – Dr’s Alpha, Bravo, Charlie and Delta; Good Morning to you all…” More

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

Member Post

 

Dear Meeting, Wow! It’s been a while, but I can’t forget the time we spent together. More

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter to My Glasses

 

Dear Spectacles,

I’m giving you fair warning here: I’ve had enough. Enough of your silly games. Enough of listening to you snicker as I stumble blindly around the house trying to find you after you’ve hidden away for the infinity-umpteenth time (borrowed that locution from my granddaughter who, when she was four, learned about the concept of infinity from her mother. Subsequently, when asked to do something she didn’t want to, she announced that the chances of her obeying the (sometimes direct) order were “infinity zero.”)

More

Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Shocked and Offended – an Open Letter to the New Jersey Actuarial Society

 

The following letter, and the poor deluded fictional lady writing it, began as an inside joke:

Dear New Jersey Actuarial Society,

More

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter to Snow

 

Dear Snow,

You know I love you. While you weren’t around as much when I was a kid, I still loved you even then. Now, when you’re around more than I ever dreamed of, I’m content. Every morning, when I wake up and see you covering the trees, and the houses, making this area look like a Christmas town, it fills me with joy. Even the terrible drivers, who suddenly forget how to drive as soon as you make an appearance, don’t phase me because you put me in such a cheerful mood. I love how you blanket the world. I love the silence you bring. I love that crunchy sound you make when I walk on you. I love when your flakes get stuck in my hair.

More

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. An Open Letter to My Keyboard Spider

 

Dear spider,

I know you have places to go. Perhaps my keyboard might be the shortest distance between two points. But, really, it’s not a safe place for you to walk. You see, many of us humans do what is known as touch typing. We don’t look at the keyboard while typing. We’re looking at the monitor where the letters appear. So, if you start walking across the keyboard, I may not see you the next time. Someone is going to get hurt, and someone else is going to get spider guts and broken chitin all over his fingers. And on the keyboard, too.

More

Member Post

 

In Group Writing, Ricochet members claim one day of the coming month to write on a proposed theme. This is an easy way to expose your writing to a general audience, with a bit of accountability and topical guidance to encourage writing for its own sake. Haven’t participated in Group Writing yet? We’d love for […]

Join Ricochet!

This is a members-only post on Ricochet's Member Feed. Want to read it? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.