This week, Rob explains the relationship between a classroom of vomiting kids and actors over-botoxing themselves. Yes, there is one. Really.

 

Rob explains why there’s one standard for hackneyed dialogue in movies and TV, and a very different one for real life. And why an old song by Prince created a personal RomCom moment for him.

 

In this entry from the Martini Shot archives (OK, it’s actually a thumb drive), Rob offers some advice for the newly inaugurated President Biden based on his years (and more years) of show biz experience.

 

Rob looks into the cutting edge world of NFTs (non-fungible tokens — a way to create unique digital assets that can be bought and sold) and wonders if it may open up a new revenue stream for a certain podcast.

 

In this Martini Shot Classic episode, Rob exhorts his fellow writers not to dwell in cynicism and self doubt about their new projects, but rather think of them in terms of wonder, enthusiasm, excitement, curiosity, gratitude, joy, and adventure. Strong advice — if only he could convince himself to take it.

 

Rob explains how studios exercise control over writers through cash flow and why often the sweetest words a writer can hear from the studio are “what’s your tax ID number?”

 

Rob explains how to master the fine art of telling an off color joke.

 

Rob explains why it is sometimes necessary to laugh even if a joke isn’t funny and the striking similarities of a pre-school parent’s event and a Hollywood sitcom writer’s room.

 

This week, Rob coaches an actor on how to read lines like a star and reveals the secret to playing a drunk.

 

Rob Long riffs on the many euphemisms Hollywood uses to say “you’re fired,” and reveals his slightly cynical retirement plan.

 

Rob discovers he got COVID for Christmas, and finds himself living in a Hitchcock film — in his head.

 

Rob is re-reading David Allen’s “Getting Things Done,” but it’s not working out so well.

 

Late at night when I’m bored and distracted, I usually kill a few hours by…

 

He’s been talking about it for months now, so we’re thrilled to finally be presenting Rob Long’s Martini Shot. You can expect new ones on a regular basis going forward, and if you subscribe, there are a slew of classic episodes hand picked by Rob waiting for you. But enough marketing talk — on with the first one….

People come out to LA in waves, and those who come out at roughly the same time end up knowing each other…

A friend of mine told me that a certain legendary television writer and executive producer once dispensed this bit of wisdom…

There’s an old reporter’s saying that they use when a story or rumor perfectly illustrates the point the reporter is trying to make, “Too good to check.”

A friend of mine was running an action adventure show not too long ago, and he heard what I think is the worst pitch ever from a writer who wanted a free-lance episode…

The other night I was out walking my dog, and as I was bending over to scoop up her nightly HazMat, I noticed a couple of large index cards on the ground…

Here’s what you need to bear in mind, for this particular story to pay off. First, I like to cook, and I have a refrigerator and freezer in my garage filled with obscure cuts of pork…

I don’t know the exact demographics of this podcast, so sadly, I think I need to say this before I get going: Years ago, there was a show on American television called “Webster.”