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My Racist Garden
In troubled times like these, Voltaire reminds us, we must cultivate our own garden. Unfortunately, it would seem that this is racist:
It is the softly spoken radio show that provides good-natured help and advice to thousands of gardeners every week.
So regular listeners to Gardeners’ Question Time may be horrified to discover it has been accused of peddling racial stereotypes.
According to one academic, the Radio 4 panel show is riddled with “racial meanings” disguised as horticultural advice. …
Dr Ben Pitcher, a senior lecturer in sociology at the University of Westminster, claimed the programme’s regular discussions on soil purity and non-native species promote nationalist and fascist beliefs.
“The distinction that gets made between native species and non-native species and this kind of policing of what belongs and what does not belong I think is symptomatic of a kind of desire to defend the fantasy of the national space,” said Pitcher, adding that the show, which probably qualifies as one of the most inoffensive radio programs ever made, was “saturated” with racist language.
Former professor of cultural studies Lola Young agreed with Pitcher, comparing efforts by gardeners to destroy unfavorable flowers such as rhododendrons with violent racist attacks on Pakistanis.
The Daily Mail offers us a helpful guide:
NATIVE VERSUS NON-NATIVE SPECIES: The show’s experts often warn gardeners of the dangers of introducing foreign species of plant to a garden, and the importance of weed control. But is this actually a racist code?
SOIL: According to Dr Pitcher, nationalists often use the metaphor of soil to discuss ethnic purity. Are the Gardeners’ Question Time discussions about compost and soil types as innocent as they seem? …
SPADE: To most gardeners, it is no more than a simple garden implement. …
BLACKFLY: Listeners often call in asking how to rid their broad beans of the pesky black bean aphid, commonly known as blackfly. But is there a secret racist subtext?
Goodness. Never mind then, no gardening for me. I hope knitting isn’t racist.
So, what are your favorite relaxing racist pastimes?
Photo Credits: Flickr users Ron Adams and ukgardenphotos.
Published in General
I am rather fond of breathing, which due to my melanin impoverishment counts a racism.
I’d say Irish crochet, but I’ve yet to master it.
(Oops, there I go with the racist dog whistles.)
Oh, and clearly there’s some misogynistic overtones of a handicraft that uses a hook and whose aficionados call themselves hookers.
To a hammer, everything’s a racist.
This is deconstructionism run a muck. People like Dr Pitcher seem to always insist there is deeper meaning in every minute detail, wheels within wheels so to speak, and on a gardening show of all things. If there were any sanity left in the world people like this would be laughed off their college campuses.
As to my racism? I’m a Southerner that likes fried poultry and green melons but I can’t say that, cause it’s racist.
Making distinctions, you know, is discrimination. So we can’t make distinctions. We have to call everything “Thing.”
Or better, Spam.
Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam
I’m a racist gardener. In fact, I’m positively genocidal! Within the last few seasons I’ve utterly eradicated several species from my space. Cushion spurge? Yer outta here! Branch and root. Same with forget-me-nots and catmint (I hope you’re getting your kitties’ catmint from a controlled environment, Claire. That stuff is a plague upon the land.). And when I’m not killing off entire species and bagging the remains, I’m relocating them — involuntarily! Why, just yesterday I moved a lavender plant to make room for a native sage. The horror!
Now, when it comes to soil, I’m more multicultural. I’ll use pretty much any form of compost to amend the native (crushed granite) soil I’m working with. Could be Canadian peat, chicken compost, mushroom compost — I don’t care. Although, my favorite ever was a batch of spent grain from a microbrewery. Hum… beer — Germans — favored grains — does that make me a Nazi?
This reminds me of the opening scene from Chasing Amy with the heated argument about how Darth Vader is racist because he’s all about how, on the inside, black people all want to be white.
How White is My Garden?
There is only one rational response to the Dr. Pitchers of the world:
Well I play music for silent films…
Let’s see:
Mostly black and white – occasionally artificially tinted scenes – talk about racism
No one speaks – talk about loss of empowerment
Produced between 1895-1929 – the ne plus ultra era of racism (unless it’s 30’s or 50’s or now)
90% of all Films credited to mostly American/European dead white males as directors/producers/screen-play writers – Check!
I play dead white male American/European music (mostly) – check!
My audience leans over age 55 – more racist than young people!
Often perform in churches – yes, religious bigotry!
Often the films are German!
Charlie Chaplin looks like Hitler!
Many of the Producers were Jewish!
Cowboy Movies!
Most racist hobby ever!
Do I win!
I bet The Onion editors are hitting themselves right now for not coming up with this story first. When real life is a parody I sometimes wish we had a better mental heath care system which is also called an unemployed and unhirable college professor.
I like to cook with brown sugar, so I guess I’m in the clear.
Liberals tend to be adamant nativists when it comes to flora and fauna. Animal populations are expected to remain right where they were when we found them, and just as numerous. If those populations grow, well, Man will just have to adjust; but population shrinking isn’t natural and is always bad. Above all, ecosystems must never gain new members. Pythons in the Everglades? Abomination! Parakeets in North Carolina? Anathema! Republicans in California? No, no, no!
Of course, there are times when “invading species” can be nuisances. Texas apparently has a disease-carrying bloodsucker in our midst, courtesy of our southern neighbors. But fire ants aren’t pleasant either and only a scientist would deny they are natives at this point.
The phrase “fantasy of the national space” is a real tip-off. What presuppositions and assumptions must a person have even to utter that phrase?
The kind that are appreciated in higher ed faculty lounges, unfortunately.
I suppose this will come as news to environmental organizations and state departments of conservation/natural resources who have been generally very keen on eradicating “invasive species” from habitats. But, I reckon, within a year or two the good progressives of these groups and organizations will have been made to “see the light” – which way the progressive winds are blowing – and recant their former incorrect thinking.
Claire,
Please if you can, join us on the next (European/Earlier Audio Meet-Up) a.k.a. the EAMU
The meet-up will be on Sunday, 2014-08-10 at 17:00 UTC, which is the following in local time (except localities which do not observe summer time):
Europe: Central European Time 19:00
Europe: Western European Time 18:00
Just need to Call +1 712 432 0375, then enter the access code 139584# and confirm by pressing 1.
Everyone who teaches “[Grievance of Choice] Studies” must find ways to find their area seem more true, prevalent and important. This is the path to tenure and power. Many even hope to be appointed a Commissar when their Utopia comes into reality. A Utopia which will be just about as diverse as
Or if you don’t have time for the AMU, at least drop in the PIT threads. 10cents and Boymoose started this phenomenon on Rico back in late 2012 and early 2013 (original post, long corrupted in the move, was People I Hate on Ricochet). We’d love to have you drop in.
On to the topic at hand – does collecting Weapons of Oppression (AKA firearms) make me a racist?
I’ve got Mausers (cue Nazi stereotype), a French MAS rifle (colonial oppression), an SMLE (British oppression), some black (ergo racist) powder weapons, various “assault” weapons, and bayonets (sharp stabby oppressive things for that personal racist touch).
Clairey, Clairey, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
When blackflies dwell with racist tells
And pretty maids plant with the hoes.
Is that kudzu? Perfect!
Ahm from the South, boy. What the hell else would it be!
Do you grow white radish? White asparagus? White endive?
When you cook a vegetable stew, do you publicly apologize for practicing misvegenation?
On the other hand, all we have in North Carolina is red clay; I’m sure Joe McCarthy will be denouncing us in 3… 2… 1…
Don’t even mention the spades.
I assume it’s not racist to refer to black soil, which is the good kind.
Indeed, that is the very United Kingdom that I encountered two years ago: ravaged by socialism and political correctness. Hard to believe that it was once the heart of an empire that spanned the globe.
No, it is. Not least because you’re alluding to soil.
Ahh, “good black,” the kind which only works to serve the needs of racist gardeners.
Wow, the irony of this attack upon gardening shows is that promotion of “native species” is something that was begun by leftist environmentalists. The idea being that introduction of new species to a habitat may promote the extinction of current existing species. While most people think of this in respect to animals the concept also exists for plants. It is also not really that wrong of a concept. Adding new species to an environment increase the competition for resources.
Of course in gardening I would imagine the allure of native species is that they will probably grow best since plants tend to be more highly adapted to specific environments do to their immobile nature.
Personally though I think that people often make too much of a deal out of protecting native species. Environmental Conservation is the ultimate form of gardening. It is entirely based of sentiment and devoid of any natural function, it is pure human conceit. And in fact it mirrors many of the sentiments of 19th and 20th century racial theorists, just with a different object as its focus. So gardening is the small spiritual cousin of eugenics. In reality it is probably its predecessor.
How in the world did you miss the Fuquay Meetup last week?! It was barely spittin’ distance away.