The Young Americans return for another year of charting Millennial neuroses by starting out with the topic on everyone’s mind: marriage. Specifically, why aren’t Millennials getting married? To help figure out why, (single) host Jack Butler consults another single person, an engaged person, and a married couple.

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There are 11 comments.

  1. Cow Girl Thatcher

    You’re totally overthinking this…And why would one need to choose a place to live that will be the place where you are never going to leave? We’ve actually lived in six states (because of college, and military transfers, and new jobs) and it’s pretty interesting to see different places, make new friends, and learn about other people’s traditions.

    …and seriously? Date someone for five years before deciding to marry them? And you’re in your twenties and thirties while you’re doing this? I just don’t get it…but I’m old.

    • #1
    • January 15, 2019, at 10:39 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  2. Burwick Chiffswiddle Member

    You’re all right, to some degree. But I’d give a simpler explanation:

    Most people follow the path of least cultural resistance. In past decades, the path of least cultural resistance led to marriage. Now, it doesn’t. In part, this might be a conceptual shift — marriage ceased to be an expectation, and it became an ideal.

    Then again, I’m a hopelessly single Millennial, so what do I know?

    • #2
    • January 16, 2019, at 5:17 AM PDT
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  3. Burwick Chiffswiddle Member

    Jack’s soliloquy is entirely reasonable, and it brings to mind a Marxian quip:

    I don’t care to marry anyone who will have me as a husband.

    • #3
    • January 16, 2019, at 5:32 AM PDT
    • 1 like
  4. Jeff Petraska Member

    Is it noteworthy that nobody argued that marriage was the moral course of action between two people who love each other? 

    • #4
    • January 16, 2019, at 11:04 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  5. Mike Rapkoch Member

    Mils the most educated generation? The discussion here does not much support this claim.

    • #5
    • January 17, 2019, at 1:23 AM PDT
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  6. Full Size Tabby Member

    Cow Girl (View Comment):
    …and seriously? Date someone for five years before deciding to marry them? And you’re in your twenties and thirties while you’re doing this? I just don’t get it…but I’m old.

    I laughed when she said that, as it brought to mind that in my early 20’s the logical methodical me also thought I would need to know a girl for 5 years before marrying. But then God arranged for me to meet a girl during a brief school break. 9 months later we were engaged, and 10 months after that we were married, despite being in different states for more than half of that time (school). That was 38 years, 2 children, 6 job changes, and 4 long distance moves ago.

    • #6
    • January 17, 2019, at 1:44 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  7. Full Size Tabby Member

    Jeff Petraska (View Comment):

    Is it noteworthy that nobody argued that marriage was the moral course of action between two people who love each other?

    I was also thinking that marriage love is a decision, not just a feeling. 

    • #7
    • January 17, 2019, at 1:49 PM PDT
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  8. Full Size Tabby Member

    It was briefly hinted at in the podcast, but I wanted to point out that many prior generations got married with a lot less financial certainty than young people have today. The last couple of generations preceding the Millennials may have had more certainty than the Millennials do, but go back to the 1940’s and earlier, and young people got married with little financial security. (Granted, they also didn’t have house mortgage sized school debt, which is one of a couple of major travesties that my Boomer generation has foisted on our kids.) But, throughout history there’s high correlation between undertaking the commitment of marriage and then finding financial security.

    • #8
    • January 17, 2019, at 1:57 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  9. Full Size Tabby Member

    And if you’re married, you will have a husband who will go get your Slurpee from the 7-11 for you!

    • #9
    • January 17, 2019, at 1:59 PM PDT
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  10. Miffed White Male Member

    On accepting your mates quirks. One of my wifes male co-workers married last year. He’s young-ish, mid to late twenties. A month or so after the wedding she asked him one day how it was going. He paused, then said “She talks…a *lot*”.

     

    • #10
    • January 17, 2019, at 3:41 PM PDT
    • 1 like
  11. Full Size Tabby Member

    One factor that does make it more difficult to make the commitment of marriage is greater geographic mobility. Today’s young adults are less likely than prior generations to be geographically near their families and long-time friends who can provide valuable feedback on a potential mate.

    The opinions of family members and long-time friends were very important to Mrs. Tabby and me in our decision to marry. Our families got together even when I wasn’t there (I was away at school). One friend whose opinion I sought was a woman who I had known since we were infants in the church nursery. My mother jokingly (I think) said that if I didn’t marry the now Mrs. Tabby, my mother would disown me and adopt her.

    An acquaintance of mine met his wife on a multi-day high school chorus tour after he got to know the girl’s mother, who was one of the chaperones.

    Our children did not have that benefit when they chose their spouses, as they were a long distance from us and from anyone who had known them for more than a couple of years.

    • #11
    • January 18, 2019, at 4:36 AM PDT
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