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I got married by the justice of the peace at the Fairfax museum. While thing cost about $500
And our marriage has last longer than most of our friends. It’s been about 14 years now. We have a special high 5 to gloat about it.
@guruforhire The closer I am to having to pay for weddings for my three daughters (they’re 19, 16, and 9), the more I’m embracing the idea of simple weddings.
Is the Fairfax Museum on Main Street in Fairfax City?
I believe so. The Justice of the Peace recommended the place. He had an arrangement.
We had dinner at PJ skidoos a few roads over, everybody bought their own dinner. Missus_guru got a dress (black) of the clearance rack at Macy’s and I had a suit I had previously bought with a reenlistment bonus. Got some simple white gold bands from the PX website for like a hundred bucks each.
my aunt and uncle got married by my grandpa is his living room. (my mom married the minister’s son).
@guruforhire PJ Skidoos! Now, that’s a blast from the past — I grew up in Fairfax. My husband and I get married at a church in Clifton, then had our reception in Occoquan. Grand total was ~$11,000, which I thought was pretty cheap. You beat us by a long shot!
Encourage them to elope.
We got married in Hawaii. Cost us about 2 grand or so for the wedding, including minister, harpist, location (a garden), limo, photos and everything. Had a total of ten guests (who paid their own way). Best part was, as soon as the wedding was over, Boom , you’re on the honeymoon. No post-wedding travel stress (it’s all pre-wedding instead).
Then we threw a reception back home for about 120 people after we got back. Don’t recall what that cost (it was 13 years ago), but I’m sure it stayed well under ten grand, even with a sit-down dinner and a DJ.
We should pitch a reality show: Extreme couponing bridezillas.
@miffedwhitemale We are Catholic, which almost definitely means no beach weddings. I think destination weddings are the way to go, though!
Yes, please! Shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” make it seem like you just HAVE to have a $10,000 dress, plus a second one for the reception. $$$$$$$$$$$.
We have started savings for our kids. 2 Boys, 1 Girl, so we are only on the hook for one wedding (though changing social norms are making that a bit more… chancey…).
Our rule for her is that she can either use the money for school or a wedding. Not both. If we have enough for both at the end, then yeah, sure.
Being the least academically inclined of my kids, I’m banking on spending money through high school on special art classes, teaching her home ec, and dishing out for the wedding =p
I have three daughters (25, soon to turn 24, and soon to turn 23). There’s no way I’m going to spend $100K to marry them all off. If I had that kind of money, Melania would be married to me instead of Trump (Uh oh, wife approaching with rolling pin—better change the subject fast).
I’ve been to a pair of $20K+ weddings and receptions, and yes, they’re very nice (and both couples are still together after many years). However, if one couple had gotten divorced, that would have been $20K+ down the tubes that could have been spent on feeding the poor, building homes for the homeless, buying a sports car for Dad—but I digress . . .
My original plan was this: if one of my girls dated a guy I liked, I’d give him $1000 and two tickets to Vegas if he would take my daughter and elope. I’d tell him I’d even leave a ladder outside her bedroom window to make it easier.
Okay, now that the laughs are out of the way, I’m going to follow the lead of a couple of other dads I’ve worked with, and this is what you do based on their advice:
Sit down with the wife (or husband) and decide how much you can afford to spend, then write a check to the daughter. Tell her, “This is what Mom and Dad can afford to spend on your wedding. Anything else, you and your fiancé have to pay for yourselves. Anything you don’t spend, you two get to keep.” My dad friends spent $5K and $10K using this technique, and both of their daughters got married for far less than the total of the checks.
My wife agreed that this was the way to go. (I just told her I’d rather be married to her than Melania—I’m still alive!)
We have three daughters too. Simple is good. This comment is after my post (please see it), so here is the logic behind my thinking.
Finances are the biggest reason for divorce these days. Infidelity is often thought of as the biggest problem, but money woes often lead to infidelity. If a prospective bride and groom cannot figure out how to manage the money given for their wedding (using the technique I describe), then the odds are their first years together are going to be tough if they do follow through with the marriage.
Using my technique, you and your husband will 1) save money on the wedding, and 2) make the couple learn how to be married when it comes to managing the household income. That’s a major plus in the long run.
Of course, who am I to give you advice . . .
The less confidence in the marriage, the more expensive the wedding.
I love Adam Sandler movies. The local high school just put on “The Wedding Singer”. That was a lot of fun. Afterward, we watched the movie as a family. I watched Sandy Wexler (Sandler’s latest movie on Netflix). I loved it. It was like “Broadway Danny Rose” but updated, funnier and has a real happy ending (unlike BDR that has a happy-pitiful ending). The thing I like about Sandler’s comic characters is that they are good — they have good character.