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I do think we need to figure out how to talk about social problems in ways that convey empathy/sympathy, but I also don’t believe in government mandated with salary maternity leave.
Of course, my opinions are colored by my own experiences.
I had to work two jobs after my son was born, so I leaned a lot on extended family, which was very helpful.
Later, that was no longer possible as I moved to a different state, and daycare became a giant, horrible, very no good expense. In our society, there aren’t nearly as many families in the same town anymore, so that was probably a more typical situation for a lot of women now.
So what did I do?
I found another mom with whom I became friends who stayed at home with her baby. She was barely making ends meet, too, so we negotiated a symbiotic professional relationship. I had a back up daycare for emergency drops, but I paid her for the bulk of child care while I went to work. It was helpful to her because she pocketed a little extra money and our kids played together as they got older, which was beneficial to all involved as well. I saved a ton of dough, and that helped, too.
Also, when you say that there weren’t a lot of the expenses in the 1990s that exist today and give the example of “cell phones,” I had to laugh. Cell phones are not a necessity. And a cell phone doesn’t have to be as expensive as an I-Phone that is essentially a tiny computer in your hand. Get the pay-as-you-go type which are often used by people on a budget. You used to have to pay for a landline. The costs of phone service–if you choose with a budget in mind–can be comparable to that which existed in the 1990s.
For middle class women, the “I can’t afford to stay home” thing really can be translated into “I can’t afford to maintain my lifestyle if I stay at home.”
It’s no one’s job to help anyone else maintain her lifestyle.
If the justification for paying for maternity leave is to encourage families, won’t you have stay-at-home moms looking for their checks, too? (They’re contributing the same thing to the society.)
Government mandates are often more than cluster ****s. They are a collection of Pandora’s boxes….
Similar response to Lois Lane. My wife and I live in the Philadelphia suburbs and childcare is very expensive. I totally sympathize with families struggling with childcare and maternity leave. Agree with sediment on the podcast that couples need to plan more and prioritize when it comes to having children. We were careful when choosing health insurance and employers.
Not available to everyone, but I think extended family is being underrated. When choosing where to buy a house, my wife and I made sure to be close to my wife’s extended family. We don’t have any children yet. However, currently we watch her niece one day a week, my father in-law babysits once a week, and in-laws on the other side watch the baby the other three days a week. Really helpful for the new parents and everyone is happy to help.
We know a lot of young couple in the process right now and everyone seems to be planning in advance the best they can. Many utilizing family. All are middle class families who waited till later in life (27-32) to have children. It’s a pain but everyone seems to be prioritizing and managing it well.
Is this a bigger issue with single parent families? Sometimes wonder if this issue is a symptom of other national trends with education, marriage, and families.
I have serious doubts about federal government intervention beyond block granting money to the states. However, Republicans should try to address the issue. Concern about maternity leave and childcare are gaining steam, must be addressed before the Democrats do.
Learning from healthcare/insurance. Problem was left to fester and it’s not a traditional Republican issue so it wasn’t addressed. Now we are stuck trying to fix the Obamacare debacle. Republicans should jump on this issue to get as much free market and state control as we can before the Democrats push for a really expensive and bloated federal law. I would try to be proactive on this.
Thank you both for the thoughtful comments! I do love the idea of involving family more. And, yes, reassessing what is a “necessity” must be a priority. I remember when my husband and I went to Pre-Cana (wedding prep for Catholics) back in 1996, the priest told us to get used to living on one salary BEFORE we had kids. We mostly took his advice, and I was able to stay home with our kids. They didn’t wear designer clothes and we didn’t eat out very often, but it was a good life.
If a company decides to have a paid maternity leave program without coercion or bribery from the government, fine. But it’s none of the government’s business, one way or the other. Is it nice to get paid money when you’re not working? Sure. But if we go along with giving subsidies for this, then what is the argument against free college for everyone, free medicine for everyone, or anything else on the Democrats wish list?