Things Fall Apart

Kelly and Lyndsey talk about how they keep it together—or don’t—when things get stressful.

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There are 5 comments.

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  1. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    As an older guy, I have no comments on when it’s appropriate to “flip out.”

    But, I do want to emphasize what Lyndsey seems to be doing – spend more time preparing for the marriage (a lifetime) than the wedding (a day). For the wedding day, there should be one person (not the bride, not the groom, and probably not one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen) who is the designated problem solver and question answerer. In our daughter’s case, it was the groom’s sister. If the ceremony and reception are being held at the same venue, the venue may have such a person on staff. But, it sounds like your ceremony and reception are at different places, so you should have someone who will be at both places, and knows both places well, fill that role. And even if you are the greatest party giver ever, GIVE THAT ROLE TO SOMEONE ELSE on the day of the event. As Kelly says, once you put on that dress, it is a day for you to enjoy, and you should not be aware of a single question, doubt, or problem.

    • #1
  2. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    It sounds like Lyndsey has already figured out that her guy has a different approach to discussing important things than she does. For those who haven’t figured that out, or who want more information, a very fun resource is Bill and Pam Farrel’s Men Are Like Waffles – Women Are Like Spaghetti.  Lyndsey’s experience sounds exactly like the typical differences the Farrels discuss.

    As to the wanting to plan everything, that’s me! I still have trouble accepting when reality doesn’t match my plan. But, I still think it is of high value to discuss with your spouse or spouse-to-be how you think things will go. The discussion will give you each insight into how the other thinks and what the other values Then, even as reality doesn’t match the plan, you still understand what the other’s priorities are, and can respond better than if everything’s a surprise.

    • #2
  3. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    OK, back to freaking out. Your observations do emphasize the continuing need for real life, in person close friends to share life. We can’t afford to share all of life with our on-line “friends.”

    • #3
  4. Lyndsey Fifield Contributor
    Lyndsey Fifield
    @Lyndsey

    @fullsizetabby thank you!! Absolutely perfect advice – as a party thrower who loves being the best hostess ever, I’m having a hard time letting go – will definitely need to give someone those tasks!

    • #4
  5. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Lyndsey Fifield (View Comment):
    @fullsizetabby thank you!! Absolutely perfect advice – as a party thrower who loves being the best hostess ever, I’m having a hard time letting go – will definitely need to give someone those tasks!

    Yes. You are not the hostess at your wedding. You and the groom are chief guests of honor.

    You can do all manner of planning, and arrange everything, but on that day you have nothing to do with the execution of those plans.

    • #5
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