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The problem is that, to an increasing degree, the political divide mirrors other divides — differences in values, differences in worldview, differences in culture, and even differences in psychology.
Marriage should be an Aristotelian friendship. It requires (as Mike says) mutual respect, and it demands a shared commitment to a common project. But how, exactly, are two people with radically different visions of what the world should be supposed to raise children? How are two people with radically different interests, and radically different ways of ordering their lives, supposed to find common ground? (Political disagreement also limits the number of possible conversation topics. What good is a romance if we can only talk about the weather? That’s no fun.)
Aversion to Donald Trump, I suppose, isn’t the greatest proxy for the more important political divide, and that’s a good thing. But woe to those unfortunate souls who try to cultivate relationships with people who truly are their ideological enemies.
(Then again, I could be wrong about all of this, having never been on a date, let alone in a long-term romance. Take my advice with a boulder-sized hunk of salt.)
Ahem, Family Ties 1982-1989, Alex P Keaton , Republican NIXON(!) supporter , child of former hippies.
Man, I hate conservative Uncle Joe.
— I can’t wait to see my nephews and nieces – Uncle Joe…
that’s fine, RftS, but it is love relationships that I think are the real interesting thing. That’s the TV show *we* need!!!
not to imply, of course, that there is no love between parents and son…but you know what I mean….
Sorry to be a pedant, but just FYI the Ides of November is actually *Nov. 13.* There’s a handy mnemonic:
In March, July, October, May,
The Ides are on the fifteenth day,
The Nones the seventh; but all besides
Have two days less for Nones and Ides.
I love the podcast, though! Keep up the good work. :)
I do think that great differences, political and others, would make a successful marriage difficult but Mary Katherine Ham and Mary Matalin seem to have made it work. (Maybe there’s something about the woman being the conservative and named Mary – further research should be done.) For instance, Mr. Stopa, if I were Mrs. Stopa I probably would not have married you as having no faith would be something I could not overcome. My husband and I did some pre-Cana counseling a number of years back. There was one couple that I really did want to tell the woman to call it off. He was not only indifferent but really hostile to religion and the Church while faith seemed genuinely important to her. Did she think she would change him/he would change? (the old woman want to change the man while the man wants the woman to stay the same syndrome) I don’t know and pray for the best but it just seems like deep political, faith differences will increase the chances of divorce. As to pizza, I don’t have a dog in that fight and pretty much anything you give me is fine. Can I admit that right now I tend to get Papa John’s or will the Ricochetti gourmands come to get me? And Todd we’ve gotten more snow and sleet in the DC area than forecast so hunker down. Finally, Mike and others, if you haven’t read Dave Sussman’s article about the fire in Thousand Oaks you should.
Should you continue a foodie segment in the HLC podcast? So you’ve tackled coast-to-coast pizza. What’s next? Chocolate chip cookies? Flapjacks? Please, for the love of all that is culinary and agreeably digestive, stop while you’re ahead.
Colleen,
Quick response now. First, where is the Sussman article? Is it here on Ricochet?
Re: ideology and love. The one area where I think philosophy might overrule love is wrt belief in an afterlife. I find it hard to imagine wanting to live my life with someone who believes. Not because I disrespect such a belief at all. Just that I think there would be difficulties living with someone who thinks we’re going somewhere when I know we’re not. :-)
finally, enjoy your Papa John’s. The Ricochetti, whatever their faults may be, are not snobs!
@michaelstopa http://ricochet.com/572254/thousand-oaks-strong/
but, are we ahead? (and if not, should we risk falling further back?).
How about my great recipe for chicken Kiev?
Seriously though, Todd’s wife owned a fabulously popular Italian restaurant on the north shore in Boston for 24 years. He might have something actually intelligent to say about fine food.
You probably need more data points. Sorry, though, I just don’t think the fit is right on this podcast. You guys are great though.
You have a seriously interesting podcast, but it seemed riddled with stereotypes: the toothless, fly-over country dwelling, Trump lover? I find Trump hilariously disrupting! I love that he is turning over the old “rules” that seem to have all made by the Liberals/Progressives. I have teeth. Also, an MS degree in Educational Psychology. It’s all about research: how to do it, and how to evaluate it. I’m a registered Republican, since I was 18. I’m not stupid, nor uninformed. Also, I’ve managed to stay (happily most of the time) married for 44 years. To a registered Democrat…yeah, we don’t talk about politics much.
Stereotypes are dangerous.
The best pizza can be found at Mother Bear’s Pizza in Bloomington, Indiana.
The cookies should be chewy, maybe a little crispy on the edge, and the chips should be big and bittersweet.
Now there’s a hypothesis that can’t be tested.
The cow girl says stereotypes are dangerous.
This conversation is making me feel unsafe due to micro-aggression. Why can’t we talk food?
By even mentioning Chicken Kiev you are reinforcing B Hugh’s point Stopa!
My wife’s anti-Trumpism isn’t a problem due to a philosophical divide it uncovers – she simply hates how mean he is. It’s just that it’s bad enough that I have to sit silent while the rest of our social world criticizes him endlessly as if everyone at the table is in agreement. But now my wife starts it – even if it’s just the two of us driving along alone – harping on something he said today. She vents, I try not to respond, but it forces us into the zone of political frenzy that I get enough of at work.
Stopa! You were in Taiwan!
Did you fly EVA? They got us from Houston to Hong Kong last December. Pretty good, I thought, but their description of the in-flight entertainment offerings on their website didn’t match what was on the plane.
My mother put gouda cheese on the homemade pizza.
We were living in Zimbabwe at the time (for about 20 years, actually). Zimbabwe’s gouda was superb. Who knows? Maybe it still is. (Zimbabwe’s Tanganda brand tea is the best ever.)
I enjoyed the food talk. I encourage you to try a few more segments before abandoning the idea altogether.
Well, it can but you’d have to travel to Bloomington. It would be worth it.