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Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Once Upon a Spinning-Wheel (Part 3): The Mermaid’s Tears

 

Someone had been dancing the cancan on my chest, or that’s what it felt like when I woke up. I could smell the sea somewhere nearby. That, and I was pretty sure there was sand in my shoes — always a giveaway. I opened my eyes — and found out two things: one, no one was immediately trying to kill me (always a plus), and two, mermaids have really pretty smiles.

Admittedly, my sample size was limited, but just at that moment, I was prepared to take the risk of being wrong. Incidentally, that thing about the clam-shell bikini is hogwash. My mermaid (I was making wedding plans already, apparently, although I wasn’t quite sure why exactly) was sensibly dressed in a shirt, sea-breeches, and honking great sea-boots, and had the most glorious head of golden-green hair I have ever seen. How did I know she was a mermaid then, absent the long finny tail? Ah, you learn to notice these things, after you’ve been around for a while. You develop a fine-tuned sense of judgement and expertise. Plus, about seven of her sisters were sitting round in the shallows with tridents and fish tails, and stormy expressions on their faces — as if to say, look what the tide washed in. Gulp. Out of the frying pan, into the deep fat fryer …

I sat up, bruised ribs aching, to introduce myself gallantly and impressively. After I’d finished coughing up about half the ocean, with a sympathetic mermaid making sure I didn’t aspirate, I managed, ‘Fischwazl.’

Excuse me? her look of disappointment seemed to say, Okay, girls, you were right, throw this one back. 

‘No, wait!’ I sputtered, ‘Don’t throw me back!’

She looked at me, head on one side, as if wondering just how long I’d been under. Then her expression changed again as if to say, This had better be good. I was beginning to reconsider the wedding plans. For one thing, how would I propose when she apparently didn’t understand that much English.

… And, now that I thought about it, why was I so suddenly smitten, anyway …

‘You’re a siren,’ I said, without thinking. I get these instincts sometimes. The only pity is that my brain doesn’t step in the way of my mouth from time to time to stop me blurting them out.

Now, sirens, as everyone knows, used to lure sailors to their deaths with their beauty and their magical voices. What sirens were like here, I didn’t know, but I just had this feeling she was one.

What she did next surprised me: She smiled. And not in the “let’s get the fire ready, dinner is served” kind of way that I’d encountered all too often in this magical Wild West that I was apparently stuck in. It was more a complicated mix of emotions, thoughts, and feelings, not wholly directed at me. Part of it seemed to be, ‘See, I told you this one would be interesting’, and, “I think I might like you”.

How I got all that from one smile, don’t ask me. I’ve always been … what would you say (and no, not “cracked” — I get no respect) … sensitive? I tend to have a feeling for what other people are feeling or thinking? That or I really had gone loopy this time. Question was, how would I tell?

While all this interplay was going on, our gazes not seeming to move from each other, one of her sister mermaids had gotten impatient. There was a shimmering in the water, and a tall woman with deep red hair emerged from the waves, also now in breeches and shirt, except wearing a long red velvet cloak for some reason. How she wasn’t drenched was beyond me. ‘Nessa,’ she growled, ‘enough of this. This minnow,’ she said looking at me meaningfully (told you), ‘is not our concern.’

‘I just bet you were a cheerleader in knight school,’ some idiot muttered under his breath. I looked around accusingly for the culprit and realized he was me. Oops.

Nessa, the golden-green blonde, and mermaid of my eye again, flashed me a look nine parts apprehension, three parts worry, and six parts “how could you be such an idiot — you don’t look that dumb” (it was a very expressive look. Also, I get the feeling was the only one who caught even half its full significance. Also-also, apparently they hadn’t gone metric here yet).

Her redheaded sister siren/mermaid, meanwhile, was eyeing me with another look altogether. One of the deep distaste mixed with burning anger. Ruh-roh … And, naturally enough, that was when my processing started shutting down. Just great.

That’s the downside of all the one-too-many-stressful-days, snake-tongued-sorceress-trying-to-kill-you stuff — eventually, it all catches up with you — and you find yourself getting overwhelmed, yours senses unable to take everything in. It just really chooses its moments sometimes, is all.

Suddenly, I found a very sharp trident pricking the edge of my throat. ‘Do you really want to test me, little man?’ I found myself looking into the eyes of an altogether different kind of fish — heh, no pun intended. (What, don’t look at me like that.) A much colder one, or maybe not.

The trident withdrew slightly, and a hand grasped my collar, drawing me in close. Deep, deep smoldering eyes, glimmering with an array of rainbow-edged colors looked into mine, drawing me in. Oh, right, I thought, siren. It was like looking into a whirlpool and, for a moment, like you could feel yourself being pulled into it and … then I was just standing in front a very puzzled-looking red-headed girl who despite what she projected was actually shorter than me. She turned agitatedly on her heel, almost as if trying to hide that she’d just had the shock of her life, and walked off. Which surprised me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was unnerved by whatever magic she was trying to pull not working. ‘Come on, Nessa,’ she said as she passed. ‘We’re leaving.’

Nessa made no move to go with her. She was just stood there looking at me slightly wide-eyed and open-mouthed. ‘What?’ I asked. ‘Look, I’m sorry—‘

‘Lyra, no!’

Apparently, the redhead had just been getting a good run-up. The butt end of a trident thwacked me upside the forehead, and I went down like a sack of lemons. A furious Lyra, with tears practically in her eyes, stood over me raising the trident for a second whack. Fortunately, Nessa got hold of the other end and wrestled her away to where she stood panting at the other end of the beach, eyeing me with a look of extreme dislike.

‘Wzzl?’ I asked the world in general.

‘Now look what you did!’ cried Nessa. ‘He’s regressing.’

Re-what-now?

‘We’re leaving,’ the Lyra told Nessa again, the look of fury in her eyes almost unspeakable. Personally I didn’t quite get it. ‘If you want to stay here with this, this … freak, don’t expect to come back.’

‘Lyra!’

‘Don’t you “Lyra” me! You’re a precious little freak too! You’ve never fitted in here — I don’t know why we ever even put up with you,’ she said, pushing Nessa so that she went sprawling into the sand.

Nessa looked shocked. As if she’d known something like this was coming someday but she’d never actually expected it to happen. And hurt. ‘All right, then. Go! Get away!’ she said, getting up. ‘You’ve never liked me anyway! I expect you’re glad to have the excuse. Just because he’s not like all the other idiots who—‘

Lyra came striding forward again and slapped her so hard she fell back down. I was on my feet without realizing it just as she raised her trident point-first overhead as if to bring it down on Nessa. Imagine her surprise — and mine — when she found me standing in the way instead.

Lyra eyed me with hatred written all over her features, distorting a face that could have been pretty, even stunningly beautiful (if you never looked past the surface), into something much uglier. It could have gone either way at that point, Lyra, her hair and cloak flowing in the wind, trident poised to stab down at me. Eventually, she seemed to get herself under control and lowered the trident. She seemed to debate hitting me one more time for luck, but instead just scooped up a second trident that had been lying on the ground – Nessa’s presumably – and turned and shimmered back into the sea.

One or two of the others looked back at Nessa with pangs of either regret or concern — I could see from here that her eyes were filled with tears — but they followed Lyra out to sea, where they disappeared under the waves.

I was kind of groggy at this point, and still feeling bruised and the worse for wear, not to mention sick from all the seawater I’d inhaled — and also unable to shake the feeling that I’d missed something. And I must have passed out for a few minutes. When I came round, Nessa was gone too.

To be continued … ?

Once Upon a Spinning-Wheel:

[Part 2: A Hiss in the Dark.] [Next –> Part 4: A Date with Death]

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Witch Way

 

It was raining, cats and dogs (well, a witch’s cat and a sort-of werewolf with bones for brains – she really shouldn’t say that, even in the privacy of her own thoughts, but bless him it was true) were taking cover, and she still had to finish this blasted potion. Never, never, never, the dripping young woman thought to herself, brew a potion from a recipe book that actually specifies it be made ‘on ae righte blasted heathe on ye first true dark midnight after th’ full moone, and thatte at the height of ae summer storme’.

But here she was, soaked to the skin and getting more and more drenched by the moment, frantically stirring a bubbling cauldron with a long hazel stick (‘exactlie five foote in lengthe’), as the wind blew against her trailing black cloak and threatened to take her with it. She’d already seen her hat go whistling away over the horizon. ‘I tried to tell you,’ said a voice from under a pair of wet, flattened-down ears somewhere in the undergrowth.

Not helping …’ she muttered, leaning on the stick to hold the cauldron steady as it wobbled precariously over the hissing fire – without touching the burning-hot sides. ‘Sometimes, I just love my job,’ said the witch.

In fact, ‘witch’ wasn’t really a fair term to use, in the circumstances. Witches were supposed to be wicked, and bent and wizened and ugly, too (though leaning like this over a cauldron full of noxious fumes and damp woodsmoke, she began to understand how they got that way), whereas she … wasn’t.

‘Are you sure about this?’ she called again over the wind.

‘Look,’ said a feline voice, complainingly. ‘That recipe book was hard to track down. I had to call in all kinds of favours just to borrow it. It’s right there, in black-and-white: ‘To Cure thee Witche’s Curse’.’

‘Well,’ she called back, her damp hair flying out behind her, ‘if you’re sure …’

A big bounding shape rollicked past some hazels into the clearing. ‘What’s going on?’ he said, shaking himself vigorously.

There was a hissing nearby. ‘Watch where you do that, you stupid mutt! I was nearly dry!’

‘Sorry, Algie …’ The wolf hung his head, then brightened up, sniffing at the cauldron, inching towards it.

‘Rex, stop that! Desist at once, I say— Priscilla, look out!’

‘Rex – no. No …’ She tried to hold on to a collar and keep the cauldron steady at the same time. But he was strong … ‘No – no, it’s hot! You’ll get burned.’ He stopped pulling.

‘Um. Should that be doing that?’

She looked back at the cauldron. Something was going wrong. Instead of a clear delicate blue, it was turning an unpleasant molten red, hissing like it was about to—

‘Gangway!’ said a streak of black fur zipping into the night.

She was conscious of a mass of wet dog cannoning into her and pushing her out of the way.

The cauldron exploded. A small mushroom cloud rose over the hillside, green smoke edged with yellow …

*

The first light of dawn crept shamefacedly over the horizon. It fell on a book with singed edges, rainsoaked and lying open on the ground. The storm had passed over now, just a few drops of rain falling like teardrops on the bare hillside.

A wet cat, bedraggled and snuffling, trudged its way over the hill. Every so often, it sneezed violently, sending itself up into the air.

Algie would be the first one to admit that he had embraced cat-hood like one born to it, that he was lazy, selfish, and bad-tempered, often unscrupulous, and that unattended (cooked) fish in his vicinity was liable to disappear in mysterious circumstances. So, obviously, when he found the still, unmoving figure on the grass, it was only raindrops trailing down from his luminous green eyes …

He heard the sound of a collar tinkling. A large dog-like wolf limped slowly nearer.

‘Go away, Rex …’ said the cat, tiredly. ‘… Please. Now is not a good time …’

‘Sorry, Algie.’ He turned and started limping away …

… ‘Wait.’

A hopeful doggy face turned back.

‘… Stay. Please.’

Rex limped back nearer.

‘If you tell anybody about this, I’ll … I’ll … Well, just don’t tell anybody, okay?’

Rex looked down at the unmoving girl and flopped down sadly on the ground. ‘She … she really gone?’

Algie didn’t say anything.

‘She looks peaceful.’ Rex huffed out a mournful breath. ‘Guess because she not a witch no more. Guess she got her wish …’

Algie’s tail flicked back and forth. ‘… Guess she did …’ He risked a glance back. Rex’s eyes were closed. Algie stalked closer to Pris, lying there on the ground. Rex was right. She did look peaceful … He nudged against her, hoping against hope. Nothing …

‘Well, kid,’ he said quietly in her ear. ‘… You’re free …’ He nudged at her again. ‘You know,’ he said, ‘if you were to wake up now and say you were only fooling – I’d believe you … I wouldn’t mind … please … It shouldn’t be like this …’ He curled up next to her forlornly and closed his eyes.

He wasn’t sure how much later, but he could feel dog breath over him. Wait a minute. ‘Rex …’ he said quietly, opening his eyes. ‘Can you … turn back into a human?’

Rex shook his head, slobbering only slightly. ‘Nope … Nope, nope, nope … Werewolf curse … Pris say …. Pris say that why have bones for brains. Curse went wrong …’

Algie sighed deeply as only a cat who is suddenly tired of life can do. ‘Yeah … That’s what I thought. It was worth a shot …’ Probably wouldn’t work, anyway. Had to be a human for a kiss to wake someone under an enchantment, or something … didn’t you? He glanced back at the girl on the grass. If this works, he thought, you owe me fried fish for a month …

He stepped up, carefully, up over her stomach, and closed his eyes. Eugh … the things we do for …

A pair of hands gripped his fur urgently. ‘Don’t even think about it,’ said a girl’s voice weakly, coughing on the remains of the smoke caught in her lungs. Algie opened his eyes. Pris was pale as death, but breathing … ‘C’mon, furball – get …’

He hopped down and flicked his tail nonchalantly. ‘See,’ he said turning to Rex. ‘I told you there was nothing to worry about … Er, how much did you hear exactly?’ he asked her.

She smiled slightly out of the corner of her mouth. ‘Not a word …’

*

As they walked (well, strutted, in Algie’s case; and limped, in Rex’s; and to be fair, Pris was floating a few inches off the ground on a broomstick) towards home, he asked, ‘So, does this mean you’re still a witch?’

‘For now,’ she said, sadly. She reached down and scritched behind his ears and then leaned over to pat Rex on the head.

‘So …’ said Rex brightly. ‘What are we doing tonight?’

‘The same thing we do every night, pooch,’ she said, with a smile that might even have reached as far as her eyes. ‘Try to break the curse … well, curses. All three of them …’

And together they wandered off into the drizzle and the sunrise. It was raining, there was a cat and a dog (sort of), and there was always tomorrow …

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. A Memory

 

You didn’t meet many girls with glowing eyes. Not “eyes that sparkled” or “eyes that shone”, but eyes that literally glowed. Of course, not many girls also magically transformed so that their legs were replaced with a snake’s tail, so maybe it balanced out. ‘What’ss the matter?’ she said, with a slight trailing, lisping hiss, advancing towards him in the torchlight. He found himself backing nervously against the stone wall, trying to cover his own eyes with his hand. ‘Cassandra, it’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just …’ There was something … hypnotic about that green glow … the way the patterns swirled round and around …

‘That’s better, little hero …’ said the lamia softly, her eyelights drawing him in, so that he barely noticed the fangs or the forked tongue past over-madeup lips. ‘Just look into my eyes … Don’t worry about anything else …’ It seemed to him there was something he was forgetting. Something important. A face kept rising to the front of his mind, and a feeling in his chest. A friendly face … with eyes that actually did shine and sparkle. Eyes he’d seen tears in, a face he’d seen smiling and never seen anything so beautiful … Suddenly, the swirling spirals seemed to fade, and there was just a very puzzled and slightly-hurt-looking girl, tapping the floor with a disconcerting scaly sound.

‘Sorry,’ he said, as gently as possible, as he slid with his back against the wall towards the door. ‘It’s just I’ve got to go rescue my best friend … and tell her that I love her …’

The snake-woman stood staring open-mouthed as footsteps receded down the passageway.

After a few moments, there were soft sobbing sounds coming from the chamber and, a moment later, a statuette smashing against the wall.

Then, she heard something. She looked up. There were footsteps coming back again. A head appeared round the doorway. ‘But, Cassandra?’ he said, softly. ‘Remember who you are. A guy could very easily fall in love with the girl you really are underneath all that …’

She just looked at him.

He turned to go.

‘Wait,’ she said, her voice rough. ‘I have to know. Who are you?’

‘Call me Archie,’ he said, with a smile. ‘And, Cassandra … ? Good luck.’

‘… Cass,’ she said softly. ‘My friendss call me Cass.’

‘All right then … Cass.’

She moved before he could do anything, faster than you’d think a snake’s tail could carry a girl — for a moment, he saw visions of snake-like fangs hissing towards his throat — and he found himself enfolded in a rib-creaking hug. He was no lightweight, but (albeit, enchanted) snake-women were strong. Then she let him go. ‘I hope she knowss how lucky she iss …’

As his footsteps faded into the distance again, she drew a pocket handkerchief from somewhere and sniffed, dabbing at her eyes. ‘First time anyone believed in me enough to say anything like that …’ She gazed off into the distance a moment, as if seeing something long gone. Then she reached back behind her neck and drew back her arm, and there was the sound that an evil snake-spell amulet makes from being hurled with force against a stone wall. It shattered with a wisp of lurid light and smoke vanishing into the air.

And, there in the shadows cast by the flickering torchlight, there was the silhouette of a snake’s tail receding and a girl re-emerging … ‘Thank you …’ she whispered.

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. True Stories

 

Why does everything in the world today have to be, so to speak, a federal case? Why is everything suddenly an outrage, a pathology – a “life-ending” mistake? Used to be you could say or do something stupid, or even not-so-stupid, and it wouldn’t make you an outcast or even a bad person.

But then, it used to be that we told happy stories, true stories, once upon a time . . . Stories that weren’t just abstract or hothouse notions in the heads of their creators, perpetuated when people who don’t know any better take them seriously and think they’re representations of real life.

Stories can be dangerous things – especially when encountered by young, inexperienced people – and a story can be as small as a word and as vast as the assumptions it encompasses. Stories can warp lives, even if we don’t realise what we’re surrounded by is a story.

It can work another way, too. If you take away the stories that people used to live by – stories of heroes and happy endings, of honour, honesty, and truth, and yes, of true love – then what alternatives do they turn to instead? And what follows from that?

But then, maybe that is, as they say, another story . . .

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Sun-Struck

 

He woke to the sound of distant music, a gentle sea breeze washing over him from somewhere. He heard the creak of timbers around him. Where am I this time, he found himself thinking. He seemed to be in a low wooden room, decorated with carvings, but otherwise empty. The carvings were . . . strange: Mermaids singing, maps like something out of an old storybook, and smiling young ladies with . . . banjos? He shook his head, walking out onto the main deck. As his eyes got used to the bright sunlight, he saw that he wasn’t alone.

There was a man — weathered and dressed in rags, his long white beard trailing down over the deck — tied to the mast and fast asleep. The ship around him apparently wasn’t in great shape. There were areas of broken woodwork, as if some huge monster had smashed through them. Through one of these he could see the ship’s wheel, lashed into position. Off to one side, there was an island on the horizon. He was no sailor, but as best he could tell, the ship was going round in circles. ‘Well?’ said a voice as old as the sea. ‘Don’t just stand there — untie me, confound it! I want to see what that music’s all about!’

*

He stood and stared. This all seemed strangely familiar somehow . . . Though he couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

‘Hey, I don’t have all day, here,’ said the old man, complainingly. ‘As long as you’re just standing there, you could make yourself useful. There’s a bottle down there somewhere – feels like I haven’t had a drink in centuries.’

‘I . . .’ he shrugged and started looking round. No bottle.

‘What’s wrong with ye, you got wax in your ears? Don’t say the moment one of you lazy bums finally wakes up I gets the idiot – say, wait a minute . . . You don’t look like one o’ my crew . . .’

There was splashing from the sea below. ‘Hello up there!’ called a voice, a young lady’s, sounding like it was trying to keep pace with the moving ship. It was a . . . nice voice. He found himself wandering over to the rail to see who it belonged to.

‘Hey,’ said the old man, his beard ruffling in the breeze, ‘where’re you going! Come back here – I didn’t mean it, honest— Bah! Fine, be that way. ’S no fun being on an enchanted ship circling — anyway, what do you care. I hopes you fall over the side and go to the mermaids! (Now that I come to think of it, wasn’t that what happened to all the others . . . I been out here so long I can’t remember . . .)’

Which of course, would be when a sudden gust of wind blew by. A low wooden boom, trailing ragged pieces of sail and broken ropes as it went, swung round without warning. There was a heavy thunk, and a splash, and about the last thing he remembered was a slow sinking feeling . . . 

*

He dreamed . . . Or at least, he thought he was dreaming . . . There were bright red fish, singing a strange, strange song. And a trail of spun gold. And a face that lit up like the sun . . . Then there was a hand grasping his shirt . . . Then blackness . . . 

*

He opened his eyes. He was lying in the sun . . . surrounded by cheerful music from somewhere . . . and the smell of, he sniffed . . . barbecue?

‘Get back, give him some room,’ said the nice voice from before. Things were rather blurry, but he found himself looking up into a pair of bright, emerald-green eyes that seemed to sparkle in the sunlight.

‘Does he talk?’ said another voice.

‘How’s his head?’

‘Can he dance?’

‘And would he like something to eat? Sarissa, are those sea-cow steaks ready yet?’

‘Almost!

‘Has anyone seen my banjo . . .’

‘Your banjo? Has anyone seen my snarkle-horn, it needs tuning . . .’

As the world slid back into focus, he saw a girl, a young woman really, looking down at him with a warm, concerned smile. ‘Hey . . .’ she said. ‘Thought we’d lost you for a moment there . . . My name’s Elysia, I . . . fished you out of the water when you fell – do you . . . have a name?’

‘And would you like some barbecue?’ said another voice.

‘You like music, right?’ 

‘It’s just we’ve got this big dance, and . . .’

Other figures crowded round. All of them dressed in curiously old-fashioned swimming-dresses. One held a banjo, another a seashell that looked weirdly musical; yet another held out a large leaf with a browned steak on it that smelled delicious . . .

His head was swimming, a dull, throbbing ache running through it. ‘Where . . . where am I?’

Elysia opened her mouth to speak, but got nudged into silence.

‘Don’t. He’ll get the wrong idea—’

‘But—’

‘Oh, for heaven’s sakes,’ said a girl with long honey-coloured hair done up in an old-fashioned style, ‘if you don’t tell him, I will.’

One of the other girls gave him a nervous smile. ‘. . . How much have you heard about the Isle of the Sirens . . . ?’

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Time Enough

 

The air shimmered and a young woman stumbled forward out of what a moment before had been thin air. As she got back up, dusting red dirt off her jeans, the setting sun glinted off the scythe-shaped silver pin on her lapel. She looked around, running a hand through her hair. Floating by the crossroads, looking up at a warped old signpost, was the figure of a man, glowing semi-translucent and slightly blue. She looked around again. No body. That was odd for a start.

He turned at the sound of her walking towards him. She saw the confusion and the pain – felt them flash through her, as if they were her own – saw the glistening of tears. She kept going, taking in details as she went. Young. About her age. Features? Hard to tell when people were like this. And pain. Worlds and worlds of pain. ‘Hey there, honey,’ she said, as gently as possible, extending a hand to him. ‘My name’s Clancy. You … look a little lost …’ She paused a moment. ‘I know this place down the road a ways – they do these great chocolate malts. You look like you could use one … My treat?’

*

When you’re a Grim Reaper (hey, everybody’s gotta earn a living), time and space are a little more … flexible than they are for most people. Even if you are most people when you’re off duty. As he took her hand she stepped forward seamlessly, the air rippled, and suddenly they were in front of a large roadside diner at the end of a side road, a big illuminated sign over it glinting out into the moonlit night. Back there it had been early evening. Here it was approaching the witching hour, when they’d have the place to themselves.

That said, she never had quite gotten over the slight feeling of vertigo that overcame her whenever she travelled like that.

She turned, slightly dizzily, and saw him gazing up at the sign, where a graceful illuminated waitress with angel’s wings smiled down at them. He glanced back at her, thoughtfully. ‘So,’ she said quickly, ‘what do I call you?’

This seemed to throw him. ‘Huh?’

She grinned, glancing back at him from the doorway. ‘You always this articulate? I can’t just call you “Hey, you,” can I, now.’ She saw the struggle in his eyes as he tried to remember. For a moment, she caught a flash of something else, too. A hospital room, a feeling in the air, or something. ‘Tell you what, you look like an Ace to me. So, how about it, Ace?’

For a moment, he almost seemed to come alive again. She was guessing not much kindness had come his way the last few years.

‘C’mon,’ she said. ‘For me? I hate to drink alone. You wouldn’t want that, now, would you?’

The spirit of chivalry is a wonderful thing … And so is a pretty girl with an infectious smile. By the time he reached the door, his feet were practically touching the floor again.

*

Managing the door so he didn’t notice was tricky, but they made it through. ‘Hey, Delores,’ she said to the grey-haired older lady behind the counter, ‘two chocolate malts?’

Delores nodded and didn’t seem to blink at “Ace” as he stepped through behind her. Clancy found them an out-of-the-way corner booth. Ace was staring off into the distance again, probably to some far-off place in his head somewhere. His face seemed to relax a little. Seen like that, he wasn’t bad-looking, she thought, and then wondered where the thought had come from.

There was something about him … Something nagging her at the back of her head someplace. ‘Hey, Ace,’ she said, gently. ‘I’ll be right back. Just need to make a call, okay?’

‘Okay, Clancy.’ It was the first time she’d heard his voice properly. First time he’d said her name. It was a nice voice, she thought distractedly as she headed for the phone.

*

‘… What do you mean there’s no record? Listen, Clarence, I got sent here. Floating spirit, middle of nowhere …’ she cupped her hand more over the receiver ‘… Well, yes, there was no body … Look, what are you saying?’

‘… do what you think is best …’ a voice said, seeming to come from a great distance.

‘What does that mean? Look, I’m mortal the rest of the time, remember. I— … Clarence? Hello? Hello …’ Damnit. She slid the receiver back into its cradle. Fortunately, there was no fear that Delores would carry their order over. If you were thirsty or hungry enough, you’d come and get ’em, that was her motto. Still, she hurried back …

*

Two chocolate malts, delicious cold radiating off them, stood frostily on the counter, the vapour still fogging the glass, a couple of candy-cane-striped straws in each, and even a cherry on top. Sometimes she really wondered about Delores.

She scooped them up and hurried back to the table.

When she got there, he was still gazing off into the distance, but the glow around him was turning a lot bluer, a lot less life-like. She slid onto the bench on her side of the table and slid his glass across. Except, as she did so, it shimmered, turning semi-ethereal like the guy in front of her. Nobody had ever taught her how to do that, she’d just worked it out for herself. Ice cream to ethereal.

A really keen watcher, or even Delores, who was suddenly intently polishing ice-cream glasses, would have noticed the way Clancy glanced side-to-side a bit first – and the lingering sparkle that seemed to emanate from Ace’s glass for a moment after she passed it to him.

‘Cheers,’ she said, raising her own glass. As they both sipped delicious frosty chocolate malt (with or without added sparkle) through their straws, there was a change in the air. So subtle and yet so vital it was hard to miss. It was as if the world was suddenly their own. As if the world had slid back into focus.

Ace certainly seemed to have. The colour was coming back to him, and he almost looked alive. She noticed, too, something she’d seen a glimmer of before, a sparkle about his eyes, somewhere deep within. ‘Feel better?’ she said.

‘Yeah … I …’

‘It hits people like that sometimes,’ she nodded. ‘Sometimes I think chocolate malts are like the closest thing to magic we’ll ever find.’

He just looked at her.

‘What?’

‘Nothing …’

She grinned at him. ‘What? Come on, spill it. I’ll get you to talk eventually.’ She liked the way he blushed, a little thought at the back of her head told her. She shushed it, with dignity.

She reached a decision, and placed the little silver badge of office from her lapel on the table. Business could wait. A soul in need was a soul in need.

Besides, she wasn’t even sure what was going on here … ‘All right, I’ll go first,’ she said. ‘My name’s Clancy (but then you already knew that). I … work nights … It’s not the best, but it’s a job …’

… Outside, swirling clouds drifted by, moon- and starlight gleamed, and the night — and the world — were at peace for a while. Inside, two souls did what two souls have been doing since the dawn of time – being human. There was always time for that, at least …

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Lifesaver

 

The wind blustered through the trees, swirling fallen leaves as it went, till it reached the old cottage door, lying blown back on its hinges. Maybe she had put just a trifle more oomph into that lock-picking spell than she had meant to, she conceded, looking down at the little electric-blue spark still crackling on the end of her finger. ‘Um, hello?’ she said, stepping tentatively inside, ‘I knocked, but I couldn’t seem to get an answer …’

Strictly speaking, she shouldn’t be doing this, she thought, looking over the neat clay-tiled kitchen, but it wasn’t as if she had much choice. ‘I’m sorry about the door,’ she continued. ‘It’s just … I’m in trouble, and I need your help …’ And, in a whisper, ‘I kind of need a hero …’

*

In the next room, there was a man on the floor, youngish, dark hair – he didn’t look well. Without realizing it, she was kneeling down next to him, checking his breathing, feeling for a pulse: weak, and getting weaker by the minute.

She looked around desperately. She didn’t want to do this. Look at what had happened to the door. But it didn’t look like she had much choice. If she did nothing, he’d probably be dead soon. She extended a finger, crackling with tingling motes of energy – this wasn’t the way this was normally done, but she guessed there was a first time for everything: One, two, three … clear!

*

He drew in a deep gasping breath. There was a … woman kneeling over him with a concerned expression on her face, his skin was tingling all over, and the smell of burnt hair lingered in the air – that, and hers was standing ever so slightly on end.

‘Um, hi,’ she said. ‘You weren’t … um, that is to say, you weren’t well and I kind of …’

‘Thank you,’ he breathed, still kind of gasping.

‘Um … I sort of need … Do you think you could come with me,’ she said brightly, as she helped him to his feet. ‘I’ll explain on the way.’

She led him out past the back door, which was slightly skewed on its hinges for some reason, out through the garden, past the hedgerows, and into the woods; there, hanging in mid-air and apparently made of light, was a magic portal in the middle of the clearing.

She held out her hand to him, glancing towards the portal. ‘So,’ she said, with a big smile, the glowy fairy wings on her back shimmering in the twilight, ‘I was kind of hoping you might be able to help me out …’

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Bell Ringer

 

They had such strange flowers here, ‘Arthur-lies-sleeping’, what sort of name was that for a flower? And ‘Cadbury bells’ and, he sneezed past his streaming eyes, something in the hedgerows that was giving him hay fever. He never got hay fever … That must have been what made him miss the rock: He stumbled, rolling down, down into the gully into a surprisingly deep, almost little valley, hitting his head on something as he landed. Hey, who turned out the lights?

By the time he woke up, it was getting dark. He was miles from anywhere; though for some reason, he couldn’t actually remember where or even who he was, which was just stupid. Ahead of him, was a rough doorway in the side of the hill. Which was even sillier, you didn’t get doorways in the sides of hills. There was a light coming from somewhere inside this one, though, and a subtle ringing note that seemed to echo inside his head. Or maybe that was just his skull. Here went nothing …

*

He found himself in a stone chamber with smooth sides and, here and there in the dimness, a few crude carvings.

‘Can I help you?’ said a voice. He spun round to face a young woman in a long blue dress, with long golden-brown hair. She had a candle held out in front of her.

‘I — er …’ he gargled articulately.

‘Or perhaps I can?’ said another voice, full of promise. He spun around again. This one belonged to a lady all in black, her dark hair spilling down around her. ‘You can call me Morgan,’ she added with a little smile as she took his arm. ‘You look like you could do with a drink,’ she said.

He was surprisingly thirsty, actually.

‘And something to eat,’ said the lady in the blue dress, taking his other arm. ‘I’m Gwen, by the way.’

That really was very kind, he thought, as they led him away.

*

They seemed to be going down into the hillside. Down spiral stairs, down passageways, down deeper and deeper. It was nice and cool here – outside it had been miserable and humid. But there was something else. Even the air seemed strangely refreshing. Or maybe it was just something about the two ladies with him. He didn’t make friends easily, so it was always a nice surprise to meet such friendly people.

They were in a big chamber now, dimly lit at the sides by the light of flaming torches. In front of him over a sort of stone well was what looked to be a bell, big and golden and a bit tarnished. There was a rope hanging down from it. Morgan and Gwen seemed keen for him to go that way. Leaning against it was what looked like an enormous muffled drumstick.

‘Would you mind doing the honours?’ asked Gwen, smiling sweetly.

‘It’s our … dinner bell,’ added Morgan, looking up into his eyes.

He started reaching for the stick.

‘Leave that alone!’ called a voice from the darkness. It was old and crotchety and said that its owner was having a very bad century. He looked around. The girls had suddenly vanished, somehow. Or he couldn’t see them anymore, anyway.

Hobbling out of the darkness came a man with a long, long beard and the bushiest eyebrows he had ever seen. He introduced himself as ‘Merwyn, look-you’ and he sounded vaguely Welsh. He picked up the stick and pushed the round cloth ball of its knobbled end. ‘Been looking for this for I can’t tell you how long,’ he explained.

‘I—’

‘Out with it, boy. State your business. Whatchou looking for down ‘ere, eh? Should be outside, enjoyin’ the sunshine.’

‘—they were here just a moment ago—’

“Merwyn” grew strangely interested when he explained about Morgan and Gwen.

‘Meddlesome strumpets,’ he muttered. ‘Stories, boyo! The valley’s lousy with ‘em. Manifestin’ again, look-you. You’d think they’d be done manfestin’, after all this time. Here, boy, watch what yer doin’ — and mind that bell! Can’t tell you the trouble we ‘ad last time some idiot managed to ring it. Everyone had just got settled down, too … Some nonsense about the Germanians invading again, I ask you … Or was it Franks? Or possibly the Danes? Anyway, no matter, no matter … Just you come along o’ old Merywn, eh, and he’ll show you the way ou—’ BOOOONGGGG …

‘Oh, no, not again …’

‘Sorry — I just tripped …’

In the deep and formless darkness beyond the bell, a light seemed to shine as from above. There was a pedestal, and what looked like an upside-down sword … It was funny, but from the way Merwyn was looking at it, he could have sworn it hadn’t been there just a moment ago.

‘Well, I’ll be,’ muttered Merwyn. ‘After all this time … I’ll give you this, boyo – you certainly don’t look it … Per’aps you’d best come with me …’

Merwyn clamped a companionable arm around him and led him away. From what he was saying, he thought he was being offered a job …

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Midnight Hours

 

‘Nurse! … Nurse!’ Footsteps ran towards the sound of the screaming. A door was flung open, the light from the hallway falling on the man in the bed. ‘Where’s the rest of me!’

The nurse sighed and, businesslike, stepped forward, flinging the covers back. ‘Right where I left it the last four times,’ she said. ‘I told you, the anesthetic takes a while to wear off.’

The nurse could see the blush rising on his face, even in this light.

‘Oh,’ he said.

‘Yes, “oh.”‘ She drew the bedclothes back into place over him. ‘Now, Jimmy,’ she said, smiling, and without looking at his chart, ‘are you going to settle down, or am I going to have to sit in with you till you do? You’re just having a reaction to the anesthetic again. It happens sometimes.’

‘I …’

She sighed theatrically and settled in the armchair by Jimmy’s hospital bed. ‘Do you remember who I am?’

‘You’re …’ He tried to think.

She was just opening her mouth to tell him when he got it.

‘You’re Karen. One of the nurses. Right?’

‘Close enough,’ said Karen. ‘Do you remember why you’re here?’

‘I— …’ He screwed his face up trying to remember. A hand rested gently on his, drawing it away from his head and back onto the coverlet.

‘Easy now. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter right now. Come on, shh, I’m here.’ She gave him a quick glance. No bleeding. His breathing was all right for now. But he was getting a bit too het up. ‘Do you remember what we were talking about before — you were showing me what you were working on.’

He tried to nod, ‘Y-y-yeah …’

Her eyes went to the jumble of papers and pencils on the table by the bed. ‘All right if I take a look?’

He was starting to doze. She took the slump of his head for a yes and started leafing through a few of the pages. There was a story she’d been reading on and off that she’d like to find out how it ended. There were also drawings. Guess there wasn’t that much else to do to while away the hours when you were sick and on your own. Young guy like him, you’d think there’d be somebody at least.

Karen smiled as she came to one of her favourites, a cartoon of some of the nurses performing a musical number. And there were sketches. Looked like he hadn’t been doing much writing but … ‘Hey,’ she said, ‘you still awake?’

‘Yeah …’ came Jimmy’s voice. As if it were coming back into focus some more. ‘I’m awake.’

She took a little pencil-torch out of her front pocket and shone it on the drawing. ‘This who I think it is?’

He turned his head to glance at it. The blush started again. ‘I-I—‘

‘Hey, hey … It’s all right. I like it.’

‘You do?’ he said.

‘Yeah. Not many people notice that about me.’

Jimmy looked surprised. ‘How could they miss it?’

‘Mister,’ she said, smiling very, very broadly, ‘I think you’ve had a little too much anesthetic. Can I keep this one?’ she added, holding up the page to him.

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘I c-c-can drawww anoth …’

‘Lightweight,’ she whispered, still smiling. She checked his breathing. Sleeping like a baby.

She looked down at the sketch again as she stepped quietly back towards the door. Honestly. She shook her head. A halo … And swan’s wings … She poked her head round as she was drawing the door shut. ‘G’night, Jimmy,’ she whispered. ‘Same time tomorrow?’

There was a drowsy murmur from the man in the bed as he felt his guardian angel leave the room. Her secret was safe with him …

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. A Valhallan Interlude, Part 2: A Need for Mead

 

[Previous –> A Valhallan Interlude, Part 1]

The horse touched down lightly in the dust near the parking lot. ‘I still don’t think this is a good idea,’ he said. Not many horses talk; then again, not many horses fly, so they probably broke even there. He looked up apprehensively at the storm clouds racing rapidly towards them across the night sky.

The girl riding on the horse’s back didn’t seem to notice them as he trotted towards the entrance. She tried to dismount. There was the sound that a suit of brass outer garments makes when it drops from a height with a girl in it. ‘Ow …’ said the girl from the ground. She found herself gazing at the big flashing neon sign on top of the bar. ‘Who calls a bar Rolling Thunder?’ she asked.

The horse, who was liking this situation less and less, shivered. ‘I don’t know. You’re really going to leave me out here?’

‘Oh, relax,’ she said, rolling onto her front so she could get up again. ‘I’ve left you outside of places before — what’s so bad about here?’

‘You really don’t feel it?’ said the horse. The wind was picking up and raindrops started pattering down from overhead.

‘I just really feel like letting my hair down,’ the girl said, pushing her helmet into an outsized saddle bag. ‘Will you be all right?’

‘Me? Fine …’ said the horse casually. ‘You go and enjoy yourself.’ Instantly he knew he’d said the wrong thing. The temperature in the night air seemed to drop several degrees, independent of the unnaturally gathering storm that only he seemed to be noticing.

‘… I never enjoy myself,’ she said quietly.

Well, that was clever. Way to go, horsey. He looked around at the parking lot. There were quite a lot of big motorbikes here, he considered. Oh, well. Best find some nice overhang, in out of the rain. Looked like she could be a while …

***

No one drinks like a depressed Valkyrie. Except, perhaps, with the possible exception of a depressed would-be Valkyrie who’s wondering what she’s doing with her life.

She’d made quite the entrance as she’d strode into the cavernous interior of the bar, her clothes clinking gently. Like an Old Western gunfighter. People turned to stare. They quite frequently did that, she’d noticed. She really wondered why.

There was a song playing on the jukebox as she entered. Something about a man being sad about the rat in his compost pile, or something. She didn’t really follow country music, but the refrain seemed to catch her mood: ‘Gnawing on the orange rind of life … Just wishin’ you would be there again …’ Yeah …

This was a big place. Surprisingly dark, too. There was the odd light or two, here and there, and the stage was lit up, but not much. She guessed people liked the atmosphere. She sat down at the bar, in the middle of a row of empty stools. ‘Mead,’ she said. ‘Lots of it.’

The bartender took one look at her and nodded. You see a lot, tending bar. Different sorts of people. And, very occasionally, someone like her. Good thing they’d got a fresh barrel in.

A prickle of something made him look up. Looked like there was a storm coming in … ‘Hey, Gary, make sure things are battened down, wouldja? This feels like the big one … Mead, comin’ right up, miss.’

***

Outside, the horse looked up. It was raining pretty hard now, the odd rumble of thunder in the background. And something else. Something on the breeze. He sniffed, and the hair of his mane started to stand up on end. Uh-oh. He knew this was a bad idea …

***

In a far dark corner, someone watched from under a deep hood. It was nice here. The bar staff were friendly, and they didn’t try to hurry you. Which was good … There was too much hurry in the world, lately …

***

The bartender looked around. Rolling Thunder was, against some appearances, and the expectations of those who didn’t know the place, actually a respectable establishment.

Sure, you had the biker crowd, and there were the guys from the mines, and the guys working construction, and quite a few others. And quite a few gals, too, come to think of it. People who liked to wind down somewhere where they felt welcome — and he always made sure they did feel welcome. He liked his customers, and he liked his job — and they were good company. He found it never paid to judge on appearances. You could easily miss what mattered most.

It was a place where most things within (and quite a bit over) the letter of the law were tolerated as just a part of life. Which was as it should be. (In a civilized world, things that some people no longer regarded as “civilized” had to be allowed to happen — like teaching lessons. Mostly these boiled down to things like Not Hitting Girls, with a side order of Be Honest and Do Right; that, and the feeling that the world’d be a better place if more people got a pair of matching gold wedding bands first … And if a girl’s brothers or father, or even a few concerned friends, had to go teaching education without a license, well, the other guys would hold your coat.)

You had all these kinds of people. And it was part of what made it such a nice town to live in.

And, occasionally, you had the ones like the girl in the brass outerwear. She wasn’t trouble, exactly, she was just … different. She was also singing, up on the stage, with a mead glass in her hand. It was … something else …

***

The horse heard the singing. It was hard to miss. ‘Oh, no.’

She knew what happened when she got like this. He started looking for a way in. One that a well-nourished horse in the prime of his condition could actually fit through.

He found one round back, where a couple of big men were securing things against the coming storm. ‘Hey,’ he said, ‘hold the door?’

They both looked at him.

‘Guys?’ he said.

They looked at each other, and then at the horse. It was interesting to see which one hit the ground first.

The horse sighed. You’d think people’d never seen a talking horse before … He managed to gather them both up by their shirts and started pulling them back through the double doors. What? He couldn’t just leave them out here. There was a storm coming … And, because he was a conscientious horse, and he had an idea of what was behind that storm — or, at least, riding along with it — he nudged the door locked after him.

***

Over above the storm, there was the sound of engines. Motorbikes rode over the clouds as lightning bubbled below them. This was kind of daring, considering, but the riders didn’t seem to notice. What was keeping the bikers in the air — it’s not like they were on genuine flying horses or anything — wasn’t immediately clear. But the great big wing-shaped streamers of glowing light flapping behind them might have had something to do with it …

***

The hooded figure sat back in the dark corner and smiled. This was good music. Good pair of lungs on that girl. Good voice. A lot of heart. A little undisciplined maybe, but there was something there … If only she could figure out what …

***

The bikes touched down on the road leading up to the bar with a roar that could barely be heard over the surrounding storm. The wings of light flickered in and trailed back into the riders’ backs. This was going to be fun …

***

Grown men were crying into their beer. This tended to happen, whenever she sang, the horse reflected as he peered through a window in the big double doors from the kitchen.

The cook was eyeing him nervously, and deciding that he clearly hadn’t really just seen a real live horse walking through his kitchen. The horse sighed and pushed his way through the doors.

It wasn’t as if she was a bad singer. Anything but, in fact. That was kind of the problem. Just because she couldn’t really sustain the more classical or operatic stuff for very long didn’t mean … She had this way of putting something into the music, he thought, as he passed a group of bikers sobbing unashamedly. She let it breathe. She let the music come alive

… And the thing was, that could be a powerful thing — but when someone was as wounded deep inside as she was, it could also start doing unexpected things …

***

‘Who let the horse in here?’ said a man by the bar. ‘I ain’t drinkin’ with no horse standing by me.’

The horse, who if he had a fault it was a tendency to be a bit of a wise-ass, found a clear area and sat down on his haunches, and turned to give the man a big, horsey smile.

‘C’mon, now, get!’

‘The horse is with me.’ A path cleared.

She may, just, have been slurring her words slightly, but no one just then would have been prepared to admit it. The man who’d been complaining about the horse took one look around and then stepped back like a gentleman so she could reach the bar, which was crowded with customers.

Considering the quantity of mead she’d taken in, it was kind of impressive that she was even still standing upright. She put an arm around the horse’s shoulder. ‘A drin’ for my friend here!’

The bartender shrugged. He saw all sorts. And besides, after the girl’s singing, the waitresses couldn’t keep up with the flow of orders. He was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak …

‘And what will your friend have?’ asked the bartender, after a moment.

‘Um, do you do beer in a bucket?’ said the horse.

The bartender blinked. And then went to find a bucket.

The horse leaned in close to the girl in brass. ‘Listen,’ he whispered urgently, ‘we need to talk. That storm—‘

They say misery loves company — well, so does drama. The door burst open, showing the storm outside. Several figures stood silhouetted in the doorway against the rain, with more behind them. Lightning flashed. Thunder rolled. ‘Well, looky here, horsey,’ said a voice like swansdown and bourbon mixed with cigarette smoke. ‘Why the long face?’

***

To be continued … 

[Previous –> A Valhallan Interlude (Part 1).] [Next –> Part 3: Smokey Bourbon Blues.]

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. A Valhallan Interlude

 

Hoy-at-a-ho! … Hoy-a-ta-ho! …’ The voice echoed across the rooftops. The horse galloping its way across the night sky was clearly not of this world. Nor was the brass-clad young lady riding along on its back. However … well, it’s all very well singing in the moonlight like that, and she had a good voice for it, but she’d just never been able to get the proper … operatic feel for things. 

‘That wasn’t bad,’ said the horse. 

She sighed, deeply. Her brass outerwear clinked at the motion. ‘I wish I didn’t have to wear this thing.’ 

‘Listen, it may not be to your taste, but it is traditional.’ 

‘I’m not cut out to be—‘

‘Nonsense! Come on, one more go — maybe this time it’ll work.’ 

The girl sighed again. Only a little more sadly.

As the horse galloped along on thin air — and into a rather difficult air current — it had a little too much to keep its mind on to look back just then, but if he were a betting horse, he’d wager there was a sparkle of teardrops in the moonlight behind him.

‘It’s no good. I may as well pack it in,’ she said, trying to adjust the traditional brasswear. ‘Woooah—‘ — only some quick emergency manoeuvres by a flying horse of long experience stopped her from falling off — ‘—And I can’t ride worth a damn,’ she added as she got her grip on the reins again.

‘Your singing’s really coming along,’ said the horse gamely. ‘And I think—‘

‘And my complexion’s all wrong,’ she continued, oblivious. ‘I can’t get the iron and storm into my gaze. Who’s going to want a Valkyrie who looks like I do.’

The horse didn’t comment. For one thing, he could see that the girl on his back was obviously feeling extremely low, and for another—

‘It’s not as if this thing even fits,’ she said dejectedly. 

He stayed quiet. Sometimes you can see that anything you can say is probably going to be the wrong thing at the wrong time. 

‘You may as well take us down. Right over there.’

The horse peered. Looked like a bar. Bright neon lights flashing over it. He gave a sort of shrug.

‘Hey, watch it!’ 

‘Sorry. Okay … You’re the boss …’ He started his descent. For the record, he didn’t think this was a very good idea …

 

[Next –> Part 2: A Need for Mead.]

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Once Upon a Spinning-Wheel (Part II): A Hiss in the Dark

 

I could count the number of times that I’d fallen to my death on the fingers of one hand (which was still bleeding after cutting it open on that blasted spinning-wheel) — but the number of times something like this had happened to me … well, I was running out of fingers … Although at least they were all still attached to me, there was that. Always look on the bright side of life, that’s me — nameless hero, courageously fighting against the odds, grappling with beautiful yet oddly creepy snake-women sorceresses (all right, one sorceress, and she threw me off a tower, but still), bravely eluding capture by guards that should have been thrown out of knight school or, preferably, out that tower window instead of me, and not to mention — erm, well, this is kind of embarrassing, but I think I may have been at least slightly dead for a moment there. Sure, all the cool kids end up “mostly dead,” before storming back to whatever glorious future awaits them — me, slightly dead. And maybe all dead, if I didn’t figure a way out of it. It was like this:

… I remember falling … and then blackness, endless blackness mixed with ripples of green light cascading over my vision. That enchantress must have laid a heck of a curse on me as I was going down. Super strength and sorcery? Something was afoot, and no mistake. Plus, I didn’t like the way she kept smiling at me when she was torturing and half killing me to death. I’m funny that way. Anyway, there I was, floating in blackness and slow-motion green strobe lighting when … I suddenly wasn’t there at all. And I kept thinking back to that kiss. Who blows a kiss to someone as they’re throwing them off a tower? Especially after making with the voodoo mojo and magic spells and whatnot. I shuddered in the nothingness that I was struggling for existence in and —

— ‘Here’s you’re milkshake, hun.’

‘Wha—?’

I was sitting in a diner — looking at my hand, where it was still cut and bleeding from where the spinning-wheel’s spindle had got it. A pretty waitress was smiling over the counter at me as she put a chocolate malt down in front of me. ‘You should get that looked at,’ she said, her voice edged with concern and a warmth that made me tingle inside and all over. I found myself blushing, and if I’d been standing I would have walked into a wall or something. I looked at her, and then back at my hand, and then back at her — but she was …. gone? I felt sure … wait, there had been a castle … and magic … and magic mirrors and guards and …

‘Ssomething wrong?’ an amused voice whispered sibilantly in my ear. Something tickled my earlobe as that voice spoke. I was sure I didn’t want to find out what. I turned, slowly, and there was the waitress, only, she was the snake-lady, only she was the waitress — it’s complicated! ‘Sseeing thingsss that aren’t there is alwayss a bad ssign,’ she hissed — but for a moment there, I caught an odd expression in her eyes, as if something was puzzling her, but it seemed to fade almost as quickly as it had appeared. My own eyes followed her as she stepped sinuously around and sat down with her back facing the counter on the stool next to me. ‘What’ss the matter? Serpent got your tongue?’ She smiled, leaning back on her elbows, and flicked her own, forked tongue out at me. A snake was sticking its tongue out at me — or a snake-woman, anyway — do you ever get the feeling the universe is mocking you? … Er, me neither … why do you ask?

She smiled again, and continued, ‘You know, you’re going to wake up and find this is all a dream.’ A whispering that wasn’t really there cut through the air in my head. Serpent’s curse, serpent’s curse, serpent’s kisssss … I reached up on instinct to my cheek, and then to my heart. Something burned there on both of them when my fingers reached them. ‘Oh, yess,’ she said, ‘there’ss a curse. And what fun it will be when you find out just what it isss.’ Her voice faded away into a bubbling, rolling laugh, which seemed faintly gratuitous, in the circumstances.

‘Who are you?’ I managed. The words didn’t seem to want to come out. I was half-frozen to the spot, and I could barely move.

‘Who am I?’ she whispered. ‘Oh, no, no, no, no … — the quesstion, is who are you?

‘I—‘ I couldn’t remember. I raised my hand to my head.

‘Yess, that’ss part of the cursse too. Enjoy your milkshake …’ she said, sliding off the stool and walking away with a vaguely sinuous swagger. She paused as she was turning to leave, her head angled to one side, posing in the doorway (posing, I ask you!) with a smile, and then taking out a magic mirror to take a reflection of herself posing in front of me, ‘I’m sure you’ll work it out eventually. If you live that long …’

She started humming to herself as she left, and then singing in a soft low voice, ‘The wheel spinss ever on and on … The thread rolls out in time … Who spins the thread, controls the tale … And then, the dreams shall fail …’ She gave me one last smirk, ‘Time to wake up, little hero … it’ss going to be fun sseeing you twisst in the wind … She snapped her fingers, and POOF! A cloud of thick green and yellow smoke engulfed her, and when it cleared she was gone. What was all that supposed to mean? Did that just happen? And if that was really her, and she wanted me dead, what was she hissing around for?

It was just all the randomised background magic sloshing about in this screwy world, that’s what it was — or something. Maybe it had all been building up for a long time and something had just snapped into place. Maybe … maybe I was mad. Maybe it was all in my head— No. Snap out of it. Snake lady — evil. She knows how to push your buttons. Even if it’s news to you, pal, that you have buttons to push. No wonder she — different she — but never mind …

… And why was I all wet all of a sudden? I was soaking. Drenched to the skin, dripping all over the diner floor. And there I was again, floating in water this time, and not very sweet-smelling water, either. It smelled like a guards’ locker room where no one had cleaned the chain mail in months. My head hurt, and my heart, and my neck — I drifted back into the soft embrace of numbness to hide the pain … All the vague sensations that were overwhelming me, all the things I could feel but not feel, sense but not sense. A voice seemed to call out to me over the waves and through the darkness and the pain, ‘Wake up … please wake up …’ Something inside me made me yearn fiercely towards that voice, but before I could think to do anything, it was gone, and there I was, still floating — probably upside down and drowning, knowing my luck — out like a light, in water or waters unknown.

Something strange — stranger than usual, anyway — was afoot. There was an evil enchantress with the mind of a serpent and the tongue of snake (when it suited her) on the loose, probably looking to take over the world — or whatever evil snakey enchantresses do for fun these days — and I was the only one who seemed to know anything about it, and who maybe could do something to stop her. You know … just once, it would be kind of nice to have something to look forward to …

To be continued … ?

Once Upon a Spinning-Wheel:

[Previous –> Part I: The Serpent’s Kiss] | [Next –> Part 3: The Mermaid’s Tears]

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Once Upon a Spinning-Wheel (Part I): The Serpent’s Kiss

 

‘Won’t hurt a bit,’ she says, ‘just a little prick.’ Sure. Because that’s always been true. Except this time it’s a magical spinning-wheel, and no lollipops for good boys and girls. Evil fairies running amok, and I was just about ready to pass out after cutting my finger on that confounded spindle. My name’s— well that’s not important right now — welcome to my life — this kind of thing happens to me all the time. Except everyone was trying to kill me — long story, they thought I was responsible for— Anyway, no time now, guards are coming. Why hadn’t they fallen asleep, and the kingdom with them, you ask? Well, funny thing, when I get hit by an evil enchantment I tend to grab the nearest heavy object and smash the evil magic spinning-wheel to pieces. But that’s just me. So the enchantment was short-circuited — and short-circuiting — and I wasn’t feeling at all well. No matter, no matter, think … think. Got to be something else I can do, something else I need to do. Well, aside from hiding behind this tapestry … with a secret passage behind it. Interesting … Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, and in case it’s not clear, I’m not a princess (maybe that’s why the spinning-wheel hadn’t sent me to sleep for a hundred years that instant), I’m a guy — and the girl I’m in love with is probably going to marry someone else whether or not I can break this enchant— There was an echoing clang, as of a mop bucket which some idiot has kicked, rolling down the stairs.

So, the secret passage turns out to be a janitor’s closet, or something, and that clang was going to attract some attention — or would do if everyone wasn’t making too much noise looking for me as it was. Small mercies. But do janitors’ closets usually have a spiral stone staircase leading down from them? I would say not, but I haven’t been in all that many. Look, I went to knight school, all right? Graduated knight school, anyway — but that’s not important right now. Look, it’s not as if I even started life in this fairy tale, okay? I know it sounds unlikely, but I just sort of … woke up here. I don’t know what happened. One minute everyone was normal, next minute it’s this weird sugar-spun world where nothing makes any sense anymore. I thought things made sense again, a little, for a while … Hey, do you mind looking the other way a moment — intruding on private grief here! Thank you! Anyway, where were we again? It sure was dark down this staircase. I hope I didn’t fall and kick the bucket — again.

Well, I made it to the bottom, in case you’re interested. Alive and unhurt. Jeez, I don’t know why they say this generation is so self-involved. I hadn’t checked my magic mirror in months … and what’s with all the chains and barred doors and stuff? Crap. My luck. I’d escaped into the castle’s dungeon. Stupid warped fairy tales! Okay, back up the staircase before the secret door closes on me and leaves me stuck here. Don’t laugh, it happens. Random background magic or something, I don’t know.

I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, that’s all. I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t even the one the enchantment was aimed at, surely? … But I couldn’t just let them get away with it, whoever was behind all this. I couldn’t just leave people I cared about to rot or feel the fall-out. I just couldn’t. I know I’m stupid. I know I’m a screw-up. But … I’m still me. What would be the point else? And besides, I want to get home someday …

Did anyone mention that spiral staircases are a real pain to climb back up? I needed to get in shape. I was practically wheezing by the time I made it back to the top. Aaaaand the guards were here.

‘That’s him!’ said a girl I’d never seen before in my life, standing behind them. There were two of them, swords drawn (smart move, fellas, running around like that) and with unpleasant expressions on their faces. They were just the kind of jerks I used to go to knight school with. Come to think of it, the girl looked kind of familiar in that way too …

‘Got him,’ said one of them with satisfaction, drawing his sword back. I froze. Look, sometimes you just do, it all gets too much. Fortunately, the guy had forgotten to switch his magic mirror to silent and it started buzzing and warbling.

‘Yello?’

The girl turned incredulous to her goon, ‘You idiot, he’s getting away!’

He was, too — I mean, I was. What? Open window, guards distracted — give me some credit. Unfortunately, I slipped, and was now hanging from a stone ledge by my fingernails. It was a long way down. ‘Ulp! The girl loomed over me with satisfaction, the guards somewhere behind her. The lead goon was still talking into his magic mirror, apparently to his girlfriend — ‘It’s all a lie! I never seen her before in my life! Honest!’ (maybe she believed him, but I would have voted to convict). The girl had a dagger. I was wondering where I’d seen her before. It didn’t seem right that someone I’d never met would be this keen to do me in — and this viciously. The smirk on her face was just uncalled for.

‘Well, well, well,’ she said, leaning close, and whispering so that only she and I could hear, ‘I see you broke my spinning-wheel … Too bad you’ll never get to tell anyone about it.’ Her non-dagger hand started shimmering round with a glow of soft green light. She dropped the dagger and heaved me up by the neck. God, she was strong. Those eyes. Something about those eyes. Not the eyes, idiot. Look at her mouth. A forked, serpent-like tongue flickered between her lips as she smiled down at me. ‘Ah, I ssee you’ve noticed my little ssecret … Goodbye, would-be hero. Have a nice journey down.’

She brought the hand flickering with what was obviously some kind of evil curse or something to my chest, which promptly burst into the most excruciating agony. It felt like someone was channelling a lightning bolt straight to my heart. Horrible nightmares, things no man should have to see, flickered past my eyes and into my brain, it seemed like death was closing in. And all the while there she was, smiling at me. The guards grinning stupidly behind her couldn’t see what she was doing. My grip on the stone went limp. I think my heart had stopped. I was going to die, I thought light-headedly. Her hand had stopped glowing. She brought it up from my chest and to her lips and blew me a kiss as she let go and sent me plummeting from the top of the tower. Wait, what — what’s happening — I didn’t want to die …

To be continued … ?

Once Upon a Spinning Wheel:

[Next –> Part 2: A Hiss in the Dark]

Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Other People Are Human Too: An Idea Whose Time Has Come

 

Did you ever get an idea that you couldn’t really see being expressed anywhere, that you thought needed expressing? An idea that struck you as so fundamental and yet had sort of become blurred and faded to the point where it was forgotten. I’ve had such an idea bouncing around in my head for quite a while now, and it has really been starting to bug me, to the point where there’s nothing else for it but to say, ‘Full speed ahead, and damn the torpedoes!’ Here goes nothing:

Abstractions are ruining the world. By abstractions, I mean ideas that all meaning and substance has been taken away from but that are put forward as if they are real reflections of people or of things we experience. Most of the stories put forward in movies and sitcoms today are of this kind, from where people have gotten ideas about “love” and romance and how they’re supposed to live their lives. Most of what gets put forward in newspapers and on TV, likewise. We live, lost and confused, amid a cloud of things that exist only as ideas.

Where this really gets to be a problem is where people are treated no longer as people but as abstractions, as things. And you see it more and more and more: Companies that diminish their employees’ dignity with forced social-media publicity shots. Endless selfies playing at real life on Facebook, and only ending up with a sickly parody. And it plays itself out in the way that people increasingly no longer treat other people as people. Where it’s like there’s some thing living rent-free in their heads that has their soul held hostage and doing its bidding. Where they abandon and act in bad faith, or, are simply overwhelmed, and forget that they are dealing with their fellow human beings . . . That other people are human too.

The effect of all this has been a diminishing of each of us and our lives, and a vague yearning for something more, wondering whatever happened to true love, to life, to adventure, to heroes and happy endings — to a life worth living, and everything that goes with it. I see this trend where people stop behaving as human beings towards each other, and I see it taking away the stuff of life itself and, indeed, the stuff that dreams are made of. And I want to do to something to stop it.

That’s my thought, anyway. And it strikes me that in order to reverse something like this — something so far ill-defined, that doesn’t bode well for any of us — it first has to be expressed and articulated. Then we can begin to fight back — within ourselves, and in defending what it is to be human — a caring, self-aware, reflecting being, with a heart to love and to feel and to reach out and lift up all who suffer and all who dream. Because what else is life for but living?

Promoted from the Ricochet Member Feed by Editors Created with Sketch. ‘What Have You Read?’

 

Here on Ricochet lately, we’ve been having a number of discussions between and about “Social Conservatives” and “Libertarians.” (Don’t ask.) In this context a question arose which might be summarised as follows: “What have you read?” I should like to ask this question more generally – not least because there are certain books that can be an education in themselves.

But which ones, and why, specifically, should we read them? We’ve all only got so much time, and some of these books aren’t cheap. Without at least something to spark our interest[1] or otherwise inspire us, the way to a vivid world of understanding may remain lost forever in the shadowy Terra Incognita of our minds; an echo of which may now and then reach us, before fading back “into the forest dim.”[2] Sometimes even when we’ve gone and got the book, it sits there on our shelves waiting hopefully for a day that may never come.

Question: What book or books did you really learn something from, or gain a whole new sense of understanding from reading? Please particularly explain why others of us might find it worth making the effort to read them.

Maybe like those of Thomas Sowell, or F. A. Hayek, they explain a lot, or else vividly illustrate some old truth grown forgotten. Sometimes it may be a particular insight or way of looking at things; or some facet of Economics, or History, Philosophy, or even Literature. A book or writer that to you seems sadly neglected; one “well known,” but not much read. A chance to show your gratitude to the trusty ship, or even “little wooden boat,”[3] on which you first set sail for new and unknown lands.

[1] (an Uncommon Knowledge episode, say)

[2] John Keats, Ode to a Nightingale.

[3] Ronald Reagan, Farewell Address, January 11, 1989.

Andrew Miller

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