Joy

 

I get a little confused these days when people in these United States find themselves so angry and depressed. Yes, yes, Washington is sick and it sucks. Being, myself, a huge follower of politics since my college days, I find no joy in reading the news anymore. So I don’t. I pretty much can’t stand either party anymore. So, who cares? We may see World War III play out before we pass over to the other side. (By the way, I’m thinking the ‘Heavenly Ricochet Club’ (patent pending) will be quite the hopping spot to be. See you all there. And no admittance to those who didn’t join when they had the chance, while they occupied these vessels we call bodies, on this place we call Earth.) At least big wars create harmony (and great music).

Do you see where I’m going here? Probably not. Well, read on.

Everyday, I wake up and I am truly astounded that my luck had me born in the middle of the 20th century. Never before in Earth’s existence have people had it so easy. If you have a job (and probably even if you don’t, if you live in the U.S.) you can still live today better than the highest royalty ever were able, right up through the 1800’s.

(As E.B.B. might say…) Let me count some ways.

Hungry? When I was small, eating out was rare, unless you were rich. Even then, it was not the best food. (Well, maybe it was, for them.) We were not rich, but we were middle-class (or lower-middle class, probably).

(Quick story: As I entered college, I often said to my new friends that I grew up in a middle-class family. I never lied in college and I believed it. But our house was not ‘Leave It To Beaver’ type. It was more ‘Roseanne’ type. No matter. We had a built-in pool. I was middle class. Then my, also, middle-class mate at school came to visit. I showed him my house, my pool, my pool table, my screened-in porch… my Roseanne house. Then we went to his ‘middle-class house’, as he called it. It was an honest-to-god mansion on the Main Line in Philadelphia. His Dad was a lawyer. Maybe he was rich. I don’t know for sure. But from that minute on my middle-class past became my lower-middle-class past. And truth be told, with the black moss growing in our cellar every single year that I lived there, perhaps I was just lower-class. At best.)

Back to food… We did belong to a country club. Still, don’t get any ideas. My Dad was a salesman. Golf was part of the deal. So we’d eat at the Club on occasion. But it was awful. Order a hamburger and out came an overcooked, dried-out patty with no roll. And no fries. And that was the best a kid could do with that menu. A country club menu for goodness sakes. Supposably top of the line.

(Why is Ricochet spell-check saying that supposably is not spelled correctly? I absolutely hate being smarter than the computer I am battling against. Please, Ricochet, punish your software at once so it knows who is the boss.)

I could go on and on…

No air conditioning in cars, homes or buildings (except movie theaters). No stores open on Sunday (get your milk and cigarettes on Saturday before closing or you’re out of luck). Three TV channels, all in black and white. No Remotes at all. Get up and walk over to watch something different. Get up and walk over to change the volume. Get up and walk over to try to tune the station in so it was watchable. No mute. No DVR. Watch what is on now. Or too bad. Watch our commercials. And like it. Are you watching two separate TV shows that you enjoy? Well, next year we are putting those two different shows on at the same time on the same day, so you can’t watch them both anymore. (Bra-ha-ha-ha-ha !!!) (TV Execs, more than anything, killed the golden goose that was the three channel monopoly (plus PBS). I’d probably still be watching those 3 channels, but for the fact that sadists in NYC loved crapping all over the entire country every single year. Love a new show?… Cancelled. Love a show on Tuesday?… We’re moving it to Friday. Hate a show?… Jerry Springer will be on and on (and lowering viewers IQ’s) for a decade and a half. (Bra-ha-ha-ha-ha !!!)

(I guess I did go on and on…)

Those were the bad-old-days. (That, by the way, weren’t so bad while we were there and living them.)

However, today…

I really do spend most of my time thinking how great life is, right now for us all.

Let me count some of those ways. (E.B.B. be damned.)

I am still middle class. Still not rich, but comfortable. Retired, and with some money. But I am pretty much a god.

(I almost capitalized the g word, which would, I am sure, get me quickly hit by lightning. No, I’m not that kind of a God.)

(Whew.)

But, god that I am, I do have a home theater in my cellar.

Where I used to have to drive (or get dropped off, in my younger days) to see a movie, stand in line, pay for popcorn, and put up with talking patrons, I now put a DVD in my projector, pop some corn in the microwave (3 minutes, there, by itself, a miracle) and relax on my recliner while watching anything I want, on a giant (movie type) screen with amazing (movie type) sound. When I watch a favorite movie (say, Braveheart, Brooklyn, Stardust (2007) or The World According To Garp) (watch any of those and enjoy, but watch Stardust 3 times in a month and it will bewitch you and become one of your favorite movies too), I am in its spell for the rest of the day. Bad day? Watch a movie and become enchanted. Let it take you away.

Or hungry? In our small town we have a dozen restaurants open 24 hours a day. And not the crappy food we ate when we were small. It’s all great. It has to be now, or they would go out of business (thank you capitalism). There is also Wendy’s and McDonalds. Turn up your nose if you like, but those burgers and fries are still quite tasty to have, on occasion. And 100 years ago that food would be manna from heaven to every single person on the planet. Today it’s about 5 bucks. Manna for a fin? What a life we lead.

Let’s talk about cars. My van has a DVD and TV built in. With our kids grown we don’t use it much. But we could. And still might (if we ever decide to go anywhere our TV can’t take us). It also has a computer in the radio so I can download all my music into it. No more tapes or CD’s. I have a thousand songs stored right in my car radio. How is that not the most amazing thing ever, in the history of the world? But it’s just a footnote with all we have going on these days. (In fact, if I should ever have a horrible crash and maim my wife and I, methinks my thoughts will go toward the dead Chrysler Van that I took out of it’s prime, and all it’s amazing music, song and life it had to offer, as opposed, of course, to me and my wife’s long months of rehab.)

As I have said, I’m retired.

I have time to ruminate about such things.

And since I’m retired, I get up every day like it is every weekend from my youth. Or every summer vacation ever in my long life.

I still remember hating the Sundays before school, when I’d have to finally do the homework I’d put off all weekend. (And I always put off my homework until Sunday at 10pm. “Bedtime”, my Mom would say. “But Mom, I have to finish my homework” I’d reply. (Start it, was more true.) My Mom was Joan Of Arc. A true hero. A Saint. Not unlike your own Mom. Whoever you are. She always let me stay up to finish my report on “Inherit The Wind” or whatever leftist version of the world-view I was working on for my Gloria-Steinem-led-unhappy-unmarried-because-I’m-better-than-you-femisist-but-really-only-wanted-a-man-and-his-testosterone-to make-me-do-his-biding-but-feminism-ruined-the-world-for-me teacher. And I know that, because that exact English teacher did hit on me, before she hated me for not picking up on her feelings.) Because I still can vividly recall those days deep down in my bones, I wake up every day of retirement thinking “This is the greatest thing ever.”

And I mean it.

It is the greatest thing ever. Every single day of my life now is Saturday, and I always imagine I have a paper due on Monday. But I have all day today, and most of tomorrow to play around, and to put off the work. I won’t have to get busy until after “The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” ends on Sunday night.

I can relax because it’s not due until Monday.

Only Monday never comes.

Never.

Ever.

I am living in Wonderland.

My TV… It has 2,000 channels, all in high definition. My wife and I visit Ireland and Scotland, via the Smithsonian Channel. Then we have surf and turf delivered to our door at home. (Maybe soon we won’t have to get off our easy chairs to answer the door, which, right now, is a part of my ‘life is Hell’ conversation to come.) My kids (world travelers, all) ask why we don’t go anywhere. “Why go?”, my mate and I cry in unison? (My wife, here called my mate, is sounding a bit like a Praying Mantis.) (She is not.) (A Mantis.) (But she would eat me, if it suited her.) (Please cast no aspersions at this point, because even I have no idea what the hell I meant when I said that.) (The fact that she doesn’t hire a hit man to take me out still confuses me.) (She is a Spit-Fire, but she still likes me, and we’ll leave it at that.) (Except, that I like her too.) “We can visit anywhere in the world, see the best stuff, and then fall asleep in our own beds.”

What is the problem here?

Our life is absolute magic.

The other day I was exiting my garage and turned back to look. My car’s lights were going off automatically. The garage door was going down on it’s own. And the trunk did what I instructed it to do and closed itself. (Good trunk.)

I thought that the world of Harry Potter couldn’t be more mystical.

Walmart now delivers my baked beans by Federal Express in two days. For free.

My wine comes in the mail. The local Japanese restaurant delivers the most amazing filet steak and scallops to my door.

(two hundred years ago people had to grow enough in the summer to last through the winter or they’d starve. Me? I call a pizza place during a blizzard in January, while I’m watching the Super Bowl. In an hour I’m eating chicken wings, cheese fries and pizza.)

In the heat of the summer I’m wearing a hoodie in my house because the downstairs gets very cold just to keep the upstairs normal. We even run the gas fireplace in the cellar theater, while watching movies, when it’s 90 degrees outside.

The downstairs gets very chilly no matter how hot it is outside, and besides all that, it is so amazingly cozy sitting by a fire, embraced by a wife, who also loves watching movies, and eating popcorn while enjoying a classic film that nobody else may appreciate except us. (Like, Stardust or Garp)

In the winter, if it is cool but still humid outside, we run the air conditioner to remove the moisture, then light the wood burning fireplace in the living room, or turn on the gas fireplace in the cellar to warm up the place.

What other world is so perfect that their people can heat and cool themselves at the very same time, just to have it at a perfect temperature and humidity?

I don’t know the answer.

But that’s my world.

(A quick note on Global Warming, for those of you who care, and who cringe at my use of energy. I have read extensively about G.W. Very quickly, Al Gore is the devil, I cannot think of a person in all of history who sold his soul so completely for so much money than he. If anybody you talk to says 98% of scientists agree about G.W. , punch them in their private place. Not really. But they are too uninformed to debate. In a nutshell, G.W. fanatics think the world of today is forever. It is not. In a hundred years, they will have inventions that we could not have imagined (like a machine that devours every bit of land deemed a toxic trash dump, and that same machine will extract all the usable parts of the earth and spit out all the rest, and then use that extra toxic waste to power itself to go on and on, to continue to clean our earth. How is that so hard for environmentalists to envision?)

(These inventions are coming, unless your plan is to take us down a socialist path so we can’t afford anything, except to wind us up back in the dark ages.)

I am a firm believer in deferred gratification. In fact I think it is the secret to happiness. That’s why I hate politicians today. There is no thinking of the future

Yow. I hate too long conversations here. I’m more of a say it and leave it type. Sorry I went on (and on). But there is so much more that is amazing about our world today (like fireflies (my god, fireflies…. Amazing) or canned soup (Clam Chowder, right there in a can, ready to open) or tiki-torches ($3 of fuel to light up your backyard BBQ, and also keep the bugs away), life is a mystical, magical journey), and how lucky I (and you) are to be a part of it. I could go on for days. In fact I do. I walk many times a day. I take no phone. I am happy in my own head. And I always come up with more reasons to love this place in which I landed, on my visit to this extremely desirable, eminently loveable planet.

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  1. Sandy Member
    Sandy
    @Sandy

    You are a charming man, Captain, and a lucky one. I loved this even though I can’t appreciate all that you do, since when I look back to my childhood I see better times despite the lack of an automatic garage door opener and air conditioning and microwave ovens.  But don’t let people like me get in your way, and thanks for the movie suggestions.

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Captain Kidd: (Why is Ricochet spell-check saying that supposably is not spelled correctly? I absolutely hate being smarter than the computer I am battling against. Please, Ricochet, punish your software at once so it knows who is the boss.)

    First, Ricochet is not the software doing that. That spelling software is attached to your browser. Second, you probably mean “supposedly,” which is a real word. Don’t feel bad about it, though. I have found all sorts of words that I use either never existed or are colloquial. For instance, “snuck.” “He snuck into the room.” Past of “sneak,” right? No, it’s apparently supposably “sneaked,” but when did that happen? I swear it was “snuck” when I grew up.

    • #2
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Now that I have finished reading this whooooooole thing, thank you. That was a mighty fine romp through the magical world we live in.

    • #3
  4. She Member
    She
    @She

    Captain Kidd, you had me at “fireflies.”

    All I have to do to be ‘surprised by joy’ is step outside and open my eyes.  Yesterday, it was to see a tiny fawn, still with spots on her coat, cavorting in the bushes.  She was smaller (and much more dainty) than a golden retriever.  Some days, it’s to see the belted kingfishers flying around the creek searching for food.  Others, it’s the small but lovely wildflowers in the ditches at the side of the road.  No expensive TV subscription, or Internet access required.

    It’s a wonderful world.  Not perfect, but wonderful nonetheless, and I am blessed to live in it.

    Thanks for this post.

    • #4
  5. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    She (View Comment):
    Captain Kidd, you had me at “fireflies.”

    My brother just posted some videos of his daughter (2-1/2 yoa) playing with fireflies. Definitely fun to see such a young one chasing them.

    • #5
  6. Sandy Member
    Sandy
    @Sandy

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Captain Kidd: (Why is Ricochet spell-check saying that supposably is not spelled correctly? I absolutely hate being smarter than the computer I am battling against. Please, Ricochet, punish your software at once so it knows who is the boss.)

    First, Ricochet is not the software doing that. That spelling software is attached to your browser. Second, you probably mean “supposedly,” which is a real word. Don’t feel bad about it, though. I have found all sorts of words that I use either never existed or are colloquial. For instance, “snuck.” “He snuck into the room.” Past of “sneak,” right? No, it’s apparently supposably “sneaked,” but when did that happen? I swear it was “snuck” when I grew up.

    I suspect the Captain knew that,  but whatever, “supposably” ought to be a word, as should “snuck.”

    • #6
  7. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    She (View Comment):
    Captain Kidd, you had me at “fireflies.”

    All I have to do to be ‘surprised by joy’ is step outside and open my eyes. Yesterday, it was to see a tiny fawn, still with spots on her coat, cavorting in the bushes. She was smaller (and much more dainty) than a golden retriever. Some days, it’s to see the belted kingfishers flying around the creek searching for food. Others, it’s the small but lovely wildflowers in the ditches at the side of the road. No expensive TV subscription, or Internet access required.

    It’s a wonderful world. Not perfect, but wonderful nonetheless, and I am blessed to live in it.

    Thanks for this post.

    We had two spotted baby fawns living in the woods across from our neighborhood with no parents. Homemade signs went up on the road to slow down – baby deer. They get carrots from neighbor kids, are growing up, wander around our neighborhood. You’d just stare at them in awe. This post is a great reminder that we live in such a beautiful world – it’s people who make it ugly or wonderful, but all the resources we need we have in the US.

    • #7
  8. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    Loved your post – for those in our own country, possibly too young to understand your post, and for those abroad who worry and laugh at our seemingly absurdities, with all our imperfections, we are free, and lucky to be so. It’s a privilege to live in the US. and on our worst day, have it better than most.

    • #8
  9. danok1 Member
    danok1
    @danok1

    Sandy (View Comment):
    I suspect the Captain knew that, but whatever, “supposably” ought to be a word

    IIRC, the character of Joey Tribianni (“Friends”) used it frequently. So it is a word, at least on one ’90s sitcom!

    Oh…I loved this post! We so often forget to be astonished by the astonishing!

    • #9
  10. I Walton Member
    I Walton
    @IWalton

    We were poor by relative income standards, even though my father was a Yalie my mother one the first Ph.D’s of her generation.  But she stayed home with the kids, and he was dedicated to conservation which didn’t pay in those days.  He fought the good fight and won the most important battles but couldn’t bring himself to use those victories and his contacts on the hill or among the super wealthy that he enlisted.  A curse I’ve passed on to my kids.     We didn’t have TV.  Still, we got skis early on and could ski at Loveland basin for 1.25 a day, all rope tows.  and 22 rifles.  And in the summer most weekends we went fishing, always long hikes so we’d not have to share lakes or streams and to see things he wanted to see.      My father spoke Chinese poorly, but enough to get good treatment in the only good Chinese restaurant in Denver.  We ate venison, elk, trout, occasionally antelope.   All the relatives sent money one christmas so the folks could buy us bikes.  We rode all over Denver from East Denver into the foot hills.  Nobody ever wondered where we were.  We traipsed around  the neighborhood after big snows to shovel drive ways and in the summer with our hand push mowers.  These cash flows bought banana splits at Dolly Madison, less than a mile bike ride away.  Life was good.

    • #10
  11. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I agree. Life is magical. I open my eyes in the morning and can’t wait to see what unfolds. So many choices: Crunch cereal with almond milk and bananas . . . walking and greeting the sand hill cranes . . . writing on a computer–a computer! Thanks, Cap’n.

    • #11
  12. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Sandy (View Comment):
    thanks for the movie suggestions.

    Movies, like life, is so subjective. I hope you enjoy them, but I did put down some of my more odd picks. There is a good chance you’ll wonder what I was thinking when I recommended them.

    • #12
  13. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Arahant (View Comment):
    First, Ricochet is not the software doing that. That spelling software is attached to your browser. Second, you probably mean “supposedly,” which is a real word.

    I did not know that. And when it wouldn’t accept supposably I went to my little portable Word Speller (another miracle item in my life), that has never let me down before. It tells me it is a word. I could open the dictionary on the shelf behind me, but I don’t suppose I’ll ever use that word again anyway. Thanks for the info.

    • #13
  14. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    She (View Comment):
    Yesterday, it was to see a tiny fawn, still with spots on her coat, cavorting in the bushes.

    Yes. We seem to have more deer in our area than gnats. But every time we see one we still stop and watch it until it moves on. They are great.

    • #14
  15. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Again, I am so thankful and grateful that I was born in the USA and am an American. As low income as we were, I never felt poor, just temporarily financially embarrassed. And every year it gets better.

    • #15
  16. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Sandy (View Comment):
    I suspect the Captain knew that, but whatever, “supposably” ought to be a word, as should “snuck.”

    Funny thing. I worked with a guy for years who said supposably all the time, and every time he said it it hurt my ears and I corrected him in my head. I guess he got to me because I never thought about at all last night when I used his word.

    So, I decided to pull out the big old dictionary and it’s in there. As are all the other variations that I could have used. I guess that was my homework for the week.

    • #16
  17. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    They get carrots from neighbor kids, are growing up, wander around our neighborhood. You’d just stare at them in awe.

    We don’t feed them directly but they eat the fallen food under our birdfeeders. They will just stand and watch as we walk up the road getting within 10 feet before they walk or run away. They are almost tame.

    • #17
  18. D.A. Venters Inactive
    D.A. Venters
    @DAVenters

    Really enjoyed reading this post.  I recently read a book about medieval England, and it occurred to me as I read it that most everyone in this country, lower income folks included, live like (or better than) medieval kings.  I have people who make my clothes, grow my food, butcher my meat, cook and bring food to me (at least when I don’t want to), entertain me, advise me, doctor me, educate my children, even an army that defends my territory – I don’t have to do any of that for myself. I have to work, endure various stresses and drama, to pay them of course, but hey, so did the King (as a practical, if not legal, matter).  I do my own cleaning and house work, but many can even pay for that these days.  Not too shabby.

     

     

     

     

    • #18
  19. barbara lydick Inactive
    barbara lydick
    @barbaralydick

    “Being, myself, a huge follower of politics since my college days, I find no joy in reading the news anymore.”

    And I thought I was the only one.  (I’m having to hit the ‘search Google’ button for names more often these days when reading Richochet posts and comments. It’s becoming embarrassing.)  I used to read many conservative sites, mags, etc., but no more.  And I don’t know how to get over this state.

    But as for my daily amazement of what we have available to us, from nature to technology, it is a veritable feast.  Lucky, lucky us – in so many ways.

     

    • #19
  20. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    Sandy (View Comment):
    I suspect the Captain knew that, but whatever, “supposably” ought to be a word, as should “snuck.”

    This definitely ought to be a word: “Gloria-Steinem-led-unhappy-unmarried-because-I’m-better-than-you-femisist-but-really-only-wanted-a-man-and-his-testosterone-to make-me-do-his-biding-but-feminism-ruined-the-world-for-me”

    There’s probably a German word for it…

    • #20
  21. Ron Selander Member
    Ron Selander
    @RonSelander

    Captain,

    You’ll be pleased to know that my unabridged dictionary does list the word “supposably”.

    My spell-checker also doesn’t like it, however. :-)

    • #21
  22. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    Great post, so many marvels we take for granted.  I can hardly imagine my life w/o my soft disposable contact lenses.  I could make do with glasses in a pinch, I do wear them sometimes, but when were those invented?  For most of human history I would have lived life with the world around me more or less a blur.

    • #22
  23. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    danok1 (View Comment):
    the character of Joey Tribianni (“Friends”) used it frequently.

    A couple times a week my wife will greet me with ‘How you doin’ ‘ in her best Joey voice.

    • #23
  24. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    I Walton (View Comment):
    We traipsed around the neighborhood after big snows to shovel drive ways and in the summer with our hand push mowers. These cash flows bought banana splits at Dolly Madison, less than a mile bike ride away. Life was good.

    My life was the same, good (except for that stupid homework). Very good. It just keeps getting better.

    • #24
  25. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    So many choices: Crunch cereal with almond milk and bananas . . . walking and greeting the sand hill cranes . . .

    Yes… The big things are great but even the small things, that are all too easy to take for granted, are amazing. ‘Which cereal today?’ Good life.

    • #25
  26. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Kay of MT (View Comment):
    As low income as we were, I never felt poor

    After college, when it seemed that everybody was buying steak and we were buying 5 pounds of hamburger and whole chickens because they were cheaper than one pound and parts, we were surprisingly happy and oblivious to our condition. (Except, of course, for everybody else buying steak at the local Acme.)

    I think those times help us to appreciate our lives now even more.

    • #26
  27. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    D.A. Venters (View Comment):
    I recently read a book about medieval England, and it occurred to me as I read it that most everyone in this country, lower income folks included, live like (or better than) medieval kings.

    I love reading about earlier times. It’s fascinating. I would love to go back in time and see how they really lived in the 1690’s. But I’d only do it if I’d be back in my own bed (or a Hilton) by nighttime.

    • #27
  28. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    barbara lydick (View Comment):
    And I thought I was the only one. (I’m having to hit the ‘search Google’ button for names more often these days when reading Richochet posts and comments. It’s becoming embarrassing.) I used to read many conservative sites, mags, etc., but no more. And I don’t know how to get over this state.

    I could not agree more. I find myself watching a talking head show (I’m not completely clean yet) and half the time don’t even know who they are talking about. I think if I can eliminate the news completely my heart will thank me.

    • #28
  29. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):
    This definitely ought to be a word

    In hindsight, I believe it was too tough of an assessment. On the whole, she was nice, a very good teacher and I hope she found a bunch of happiness.

    • #29
  30. Captain Kidd Inactive
    Captain Kidd
    @CaptainKidd

    Ron Selander (View Comment):
    You’ll be pleased to know that my unabridged dictionary does list the word “supposably”.

    My spell-checker also doesn’t like it, however. ?

    I am pleased. It’s always scary to use a word that should be correct, but is being spit out by the computer.

    • #30
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