“Greenland’s not for sale,” Denmark says, but who discussed money? Jon and Stephen discuss the pros and cons of Trump seizing the frozen island (how hard could it be?) and offer our most likely conspiracy theories regarding Jeffrey Epstein’s death.

The intro/outro song and Jon’s song of the week is “Kill Switch” by Ride. Stephen’s song of the week is “Random Rules” by Bon Iver. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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(Yes, it’s a lousy pun. Sue me.) Jon and Stephen discuss Rep. Joaquin Castro’s doxxing of Trump donors and the media’s encouragement to harass Republicans at least through 2020. The intro/outro song and Stephen’s song of the week is “Margaritas at the Mall” by Purple Mountains. Jon’s song of the week is “Random Rules” by Silver Jews. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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High Priestess Marianne Williamson wins night one of the debates, while Tulsi flays Kamala on night two. Will they make it to the next round? And Josh Hawley’s atrocious bill to babysit Americans’ internet usage.

The intro/outro song and Jon’s song of the week is “Falling Down the Steps of Your Smile” by The New Pornographers. Stephen’s song of the week is “Tired I” by Wy. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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The Mueller hearings were yet another bust; why did Democrats think they would work this time? And Bernie Sanders finally observes the economy in the real world as his campaign staff demands unionization and a $15 minimum wage. Will he hire some Pinkertons or just replace his workers with kiosks? And … when do we start bombing Sweden?

The intro/outro song and Stephen’s song of the week is “Help Me Stranger” by The Raconteurs. Jon’s song of the week is “That’s Just the Way That I Feel” by Purple Mountains. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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Millennial “hampsters” invade the workplace, Iranian metal band flees Iran for Norway, and Planned Parenthood fires CEO for not promoting abortion to pregnant men. Oh, and FaceApp.

The intro/outro song and Stephen’s song of the week is “Holy” by Frightened Rabbit. Jon’s song of the week is “New Ketamine” by Fern Mayo. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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Was Nike’s Betsy Ross Flag imbroglio planned? Because we’re pretty sure Disney’s “Little Mermaid” one was. Also, how did Trump’s Independence Day speech go from “creeping fascism” to “small and sad?”

The intro/outro song and Stephen’s song of the week is “Every Little Thing” by The Black Keys. Jon’s song of the week is “In Your Own Time” by Calexico and Iron & Wine. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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The Dalai Lama has been cancelled because of … sexism? Perhaps Marianne Williamson will be his successor. She levitated through the two-day, four-hour, and 20-candidate Democratic Debates. Jon and Stephen review them both!

The intro/outro song and Stephen’s song of the week is “Dead of Night” by Orville Peck. Jon’s song of the week is “Always Trying to Work It Out” by Low. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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Taylor Swift jumps on the corporate bandwagon for Pride Month and Oberlin College pays dearly for its woke activism. The intro/outro song is “Bells” by The Vacant Lots. Stephen’s song of the week is “Disgrace” by Pixx and Jon’s is “Dark Stone” by Holy Fawn. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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The Democrat’s first primary debate will need bleachers instead of lecterns, Marxist Latina artist Frida Kahlo finds herself canceled, and Jon explains why we took a week off.

The intro/outro song is “The Man Comes Around” by Johnny Cash. Stephen’s song of the week is “Love, Love, Love” by Alan Power and Jon’s is “Glenn Tipton” by Sun Kil Moon. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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Poor Liz Warren stumbles again on Native American issue, this time on the popular Breakfast Club morning show. Then Jon and Stephen discuss this week’s feud between Sohrab Ahmari and David French. Read Sohrab’s salvo here and David’s reaction here.

The intro/outro song and Stephen’s song of the week is “Strange” by Operators. Jon’s song of the week is “West Coast” by Homeboy Sandman. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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Jon and Stephen welcome back Michael Malice, author of The New Right: A Journey to the Fringe of American Politics. Michael also wrote 2014’s Dear Reader: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il, and is the subject of Harvey Pekar’s graphic novel Ego & Hubris. He currently hosts both “Night Shade” at Compound Media and “YOUR WELCOME” at the GaS Digital Network. The Conservatarians also discuss Naomi Wolf’s interview faceplant and the media panic over a slowed-down video of Nancy Pelosi.

The intro/outro song is “Bells” by The Vacant Lots, Jon’s song of the week is “In My Room” by Fennesz, and Stephen’s song is “Lovers” by Alexander Carson. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our Spotify playlist!

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Jon and Stephen welcome Ethan Nicolle, author of the soon-to-be bestseller Bears Want to Kill You: The Authoritative Guide to Survival in the War Between Man and Bear. Ethan is the creative director for Christian satire site The Babylon Bee and co-created Axe Cop, a webcomic which was turned into animated TV show on Fox and FXX. He also co-hosts the Audio Mullet podcast with Doug TenNapel of video game Earthworm Jim and Mike Nelson of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Then the Conservatarians discuss “Game of Thrones” and the latest anti-abortion laws in Alabama and Georgia. The intro/outro song is “Unbearable” by The Wonder Stuff. Jon’s song of the week is “Davni Chasy” by The Wedding Present and Stephen’s album of the week is I Am Easy to Find by The National. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our 2019 Spotify playlist!

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Should we trade the entire NBA for peace with North Korea? Jon and Stephen also chat about Comey’s PR blitz and the latest round of social media bannings. The intro/outro song and Jon’s song of the week is “Every Nerve Alert” by Fine China. Stephen’s song of the week is “Light Years” by The National. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our 2019 Spotify playlist!

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Stephen regains his voice and uses it to discuss a new cat and an old candidate. Will Biden hold on to his big lead? The intro/outro song is “Embassy Row” by Pavement. Stephen’s song of the week is “King Sisyphus of the Atlantic” by Slauson Malone and Jon’s is “Young in my Head” by Starflyer 59. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our 2019 Spotify playlist!

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No one else is talking about it, but we will! The Mueller Report was released in full, outside of a few redacted bits. Did it change anyone’s mind? The intro/outro and Stephen’s song of the week is “Faithless” by Operators, and Jon’s song of the week is “Torment Operator” by She Sir. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our 2019 Spotify playlist!

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Jon actually left his house and saw a movie: Director Jordan Peele’s second film, Us. We talk about the pros and cons and wonder if the modern Democratic Party can accept an old white male as goofy as Joe Biden. The intro/outro and Jon’s song of the week is “Lucky Girl” by Fazerdaze, and Stephen’s song of the week is “Everyday” by Weyes Blood. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our all-new 2019 Spotify playlist!

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Robert Mueller ended his investigation into Trump/Russian collusion without any new indictments. Bill Barr submitted his summary to Congress showing no collusion. Jon and Stephen review the latest and wonder why the media failed so hard for so long.

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Kat Timpf visited the last Blockbuster Video store left on earth and shares what she found. Kat is a regular on “The Greg Gutfeld Show” and writes for National Review. Then, Jon and Stephen wonder if Joe Biden is too goofy to be president.

The intro/outro and Stephen’s song of the week is “Woman” by Karen O and Danger Mouse, and Jon’s song of the week is “Viktor Borgia” by Stephen Malkmus. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our all-new 2019 Spotify playlist!

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Jon and Stephen offer their thoughts on New Zealand and prayers for the mourning. Stephen explains why he’s muting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Jon explains why Beto would make a better life coach than president. The intro/outro and Jon’s song of the week is “X” by New Zealand band Bailter Space and Stephen’s song of the week is “Palms” by Jangula. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our all-new 2019 Spotify playlist!

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Jon and Stephen solve all the woke problems this week, including anti-semitism, reparations, and trans-sports in high school. The intro/outro is “Breathe” by The Prodigy. Jon’s song of the week is “Bruxist Grin” by Pile and Stephen’s song of the week is “Long Way Home” by Durand Jones and the Indications. To listen to all the music featured on The Conservatarians, subscribe to our all-new 2019 Spotify playlist!

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