First They Came for My Bacon

 

bacon-flagI feel like I’m being trolled. This announcement has all the ingredients to make me furious: it’s a “health” message in the New York Times, from a UN-ish Non-Governmental Busybody, aimed at governments around the world who interest themselves with their citizens’ eating habits.

In other words, it’s the perfect storm of nonsense. Plus, they’re trying to take away our bacon.

From the NYTimes:

Eating processed meat, like hot dogs and corned beef, can raise the risk in humans of getting colon cancer, a report by the World Health Organization said on Monday.

There was also some evidence that eating red meat, including beef, pork and lamb, can cause cancer in the colon, prostate or pancreas, the W.H.O.’s International Agency for Research on Cancer said in the report.

File this in the “Not Interested Department.” And I don’t care about this, either:

The findings, which are meant to help governments make dietary recommendations, linked increased risks of developing certain cancers to the amount of meat consumed.

Okay, joking aside, I still have a hard time wondering why the WHO is spending any money and any brain cycles worrying about this, when there are so many other World Health Crises for the World Health Organization to deal with, like malaria and all sorts of horrible diseases. Those, of course, are in Africa or somewhere else, far from my charcuterie plate, miles and miles from my bacon.

It reminds me of a joke I read last week:

Normal Person: Women as young as 11 are being sold into slavery, sexually abused, and murdered with impunity in the Middle East!

Feminist: Yes, but there aren’t enough women on the Facebook board of directors.

They keep missing the forest for the bacon-scented trees.

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  1. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Okay, joking aside, I still have a hard time wondering why the WHO is spending any money and any brain cycles worrying about this, when there are so many other World Health Crises for the World Health Organization to deal with, like malaria and all sorts of horrible diseases.

    Because WHO exists to nag Western Nations (read: America) to do what WHO believes is the right thing. In this case, we must all give up our patriarchal devotion to cooking meat and become thin, wispy vegans living a meager existence.

    After all, eating meat makes Americans grow up big and strong, and we can’t have that! It’s not fair to other nations.

    • #1
  2. The King Prawn Inactive
    The King Prawn
    @TheKingPrawn

    They can have my bacon when they pry it from my cold, dead hands … so a little patience on their part, if they’re right, is all I’m really asking.

    • #2
  3. BrentB67 Inactive
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    I am wondering why any American tax dollars go to fund the WHO.

    • #3
  4. Nick Stuart Inactive
    Nick Stuart
    @NickStuart

    It ran on all the major net news tonight (saw it at the Y). All the reports were heavily edited, and relied heavily on B-roll. When I saw steaks on the grill I wondered “are they talking about that specific steak that’s on screen,  or steaks generally as a class?”

    • #4
  5. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Spending any time obsessing over studies flacked by the New York Times leads to cranial rectal impaction.

    • #5
  6. Kate Braestrup Member
    Kate Braestrup
    @GrannyDude

    Rob Long: Normal Person: Women as young as 11 are being sold into slavery, sexually abused, and murdered with impunity in the Middle East! Feminist: Yes, but there aren’t enough women on the Facebook board of directors.

    The only thing I’d change is:

    Feminist (outraged) yes AND there aren’t enough women on the Facebook board of directors.

    Since we feminists have a tendency to conflate real world problems with first world problems as if they were all One Problem. As long as one person is oppressed, then none of us is free! Therefore if there is genital mutilation in Ethiopia, I am oppressed.

    • #6
  7. Tuck Inactive
    Tuck
    @Tuck

    Rob Long: I feel like I’m being trolled.

    You are.  They’re looking at what are known as epidemiological studies, which cannot demonstrate cause and effect.

    So this is like saying eating ice cream causes shark bites.  Hey, they both happen in the summer, they’re highly correlated, so there you go!

    Lies, damn lies, and the ignorant interpretation of statistics.

    But a win for WHO because they got headlines around the world.

    And yes, I’ve looked into the research behind this extensively.   I’ll continue to eat my bacon.

    • #7
  8. CB Toder aka Mama Toad Member
    CB Toder aka Mama Toad
    @CBToderakaMamaToad

    As my little daughter who just walked past me just said, “Mmmmm, bacon!”

    (edit: and she collapsed in a fit of the giggles when she realized it was the American flag, then spent about ten minutes spinning around and saying, “Mmmmm, bacon! Mmmm, bacon!”)

    • #8
  9. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Governments making sausages is much more hazardous.

    • #9
  10. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    One of my children once asked me if we are going to eat when we get to heaven. We discussed the story in the New Testament about Jesus eating with people after He’d been resurrected, but to myself, I thought, “Hmmm…how can it be Heaven if there isn’t any bacon??”

    I heard this being discussed on the radio on my way to work, and I decided that life was too short to give up meat, especially smoked sausage or bacon.

    • #10
  11. BrentB67 Inactive
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    If we are to cut back on bacon should we export what we have to Syria or Saudi Arabia?

    • #11
  12. Scott Wilmot Member
    Scott Wilmot
    @ScottWilmot

    You knew these were coming right?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjR0AYf4pSM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXhJPey3i_A

    • #12
  13. Z in MT Member
    Z in MT
    @ZinMT

    My grandfather has eaten bacon almost everyday of his life. He had a heart attack and triple bypass surgery >20 years ago. They put him on statins and lipitor, and he never changed his bacon habit.  He is now 88 years old.

    • #13
  14. Tim H. Inactive
    Tim H.
    @TimH

    Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details? I’ve so far just seen my vegan friend post this on Facebook. She was initially skeptical but later decided the evidence was good enough for her. I suspect my standards will be higher.

    • #14
  15. wilber forge Inactive
    wilber forge
    @wilberforge

    BrentB67:If we are to cut back on bacon should we export what we have to Syria or Saudi Arabia?

    Bacon delivery via Cruise missles ?

    • #15
  16. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Nick Stuart:It ran on all the major net news tonight (saw it at the Y). All the reports were heavily edited, and relied heavily on B-roll. When I saw steaks on the grill I wondered “are they talking about that specific steak that’s on screen, or steaks generally as a class?”

    Oh, well done!

    (Ha! See what I did there? I didn’t even see it until I saw it.)

    • #16
  17. The King Prawn Inactive
    The King Prawn
    @TheKingPrawn

    Bacon is a gateway meat for vegetarians.

    • #17
  18. Tuck Inactive
    Tuck
    @Tuck

    Cow Girl: We discussed the story in the New Testament about Jesus eating with people after He’d been resurrected, but to myself, I thought, “Hmmm…how can it be Heaven if there isn’t any bacon??”

    Well, we know Jews like Jesus weren’t big fans of bacon, but for reasons other than WHOs’.

    However we also know God’s thoughts on meat vs. veggies:

    “Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.”

    Working the soil was punishment.

    • #18
  19. Barfly Member
    Barfly
    @Barfly

    Puts me in mind of that canard about the frog in a pot of water. Heat it gradually and the frog supposedly sits there and dies. (False, unfortunately – it does make a good fable.)

    I’m thinking that if they want to take our bacon, they’ll need a good long period of slow heating. Like, start small with a tax on chorizo or something, then manufacture some shortages of Smithfield ham just before Thanksgiving.

    But if they’re audacious enough to come for the bacon first, before we’re dulled and desensitized, let ’em try. Man, those little totalitarians are gonna get smoked.

    • #19
  20. CB Toder aka Mama Toad Member
    CB Toder aka Mama Toad
    @CBToderakaMamaToad

    anonymous: My age correlates 100% with the distance between the Earth and Moon.  So blame me when there aren’t any more total solar eclipses!

    anonymous, how could you?!

    • #20
  21. Tuck Inactive
    Tuck
    @Tuck

    Tim H.: Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details?…

    Dude, life’s too short to waste my time on WHO propaganda. Here’s a post I did from three years ago on my personal blog covering the same topic:

    The Latest “Red Meat Will Kill You” Scare

    Where I quote a professional statistician on one of these studies:

    “…But its magnitude [the error rate in measurement] is apparently greater than the reported effects of red meat on mortality, which are not only minute but may well be statistical artifacts.”

    Humans evolved to eat meat.  It’s what makes us unique among the primates, and is what allows us to have a big brain.  And yes, our meat-preferring ancestors became the longest-lived primates on that diet.

    Yes, you can infer a lot about vegans from that fact.

    • #21
  22. mezzrow Member
    mezzrow
    @mezzrow

    Bacon is a terrible thing to waste…

    • #22
  23. BrentB67 Inactive
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Tuck:

    Tim H.: Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details?…

    Dude, life’s too short to waste my time on WHO propaganda. Here’s a post I did from three years ago on my personal blog covering the same topic:

    “”

    Where I quote a professional statistician on one of these studies:

    “…But its magnitude [the error rate in measurement] is apparently greater than the reported effects of red meat on mortality, which are not only minute but may well be statistical artifacts.”

    Humans evolved to eat meat. It’s what makes us unique among the primates, and is what allows us to have a big brain. And yes, our meat-preferring ancestors became the longest-lived primates on that diet.

    Yes, you can infer a lot about vegans from that fact.

    Eat meat = big brain.

    Do note eat meat = ?

    • #23
  24. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    BrentB67:

    Eat meat = big brain.

    Do note eat meat = Big Sanctimony

    • #24
  25. Caroline Inactive
    Caroline
    @Caroline

    And a couple weeks ago, the diet nags were saying, “Oops. Whole milk is better than skim.”

    • #25
  26. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    BrentB67:

    Tuck:

    Tim H.: Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details?…

    Dude, life’s too short to waste my time on WHO propaganda. Here’s a post I did from three years ago on my personal blog covering the same topic:

    “”

    Where I quote a professional statistician on one of these studies:

    “…But its magnitude [the error rate in measurement] is apparently greater than the reported effects of red meat on mortality, which are not only minute but may well be statistical artifacts.”

    Humans evolved to eat meat. It’s what makes us unique among the primates, and is what allows us to have a big brain. And yes, our meat-preferring ancestors became the longest-lived primates on that diet.

    Yes, you can infer a lot about vegans from that fact.

    Eat meat = big brain.

    Do not eat meat = ?

    Become food for the Morlocks.

    • #26
  27. MLH Inactive
    MLH
    @MLH

    Caroline:And a couple weeks ago, the diet nags were saying, “Oops. Whole milk is better than skim.”

    As long as it isn’t cured.

    • #27
  28. Taras Bulbous Inactive
    Taras Bulbous
    @TarasBulbous

    *Something* has to kill us all. I’ll take the chance of colon cancer at 70 if it means I can spend my life enjoying every morsel of bacon instead of eating boring-ass farina or whatever the WHO would prefer we eat for breakfast.

    I am enjoying the sanctimonious vegans posting this article on facebook. They are almost all smokers.

    • #28
  29. Quinn the Eskimo Member
    Quinn the Eskimo
    @

    All known cases of life have ultimately ended in death.  Bacon-related is not so bad a way to go.

    • #29
  30. Kim K. Inactive
    Kim K.
    @KimK

    After reading The Big Fat Surprise I decided to not take any “scientific” diet and health reports very seriously. It seems the studies (the sensational ones, at least) are almost always undertaken with a predetermined end result in mind. Whatever is the forbidden food this week will be next week’s miracle cure for what ails you. Might as well enjoy. As someone pointed out, the statistics for death are running 1:1.

    • #30
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