Catching Up

 

www.noelpennington.com

Yes, I know that the country is headed toward the infernal regions in a proverbial hand basket, and that the whole world seems increasingly to take on the organizational model of Dante’s Inferno. And while it feels almost blasphemous to speak of happy things in a world gone horribly awry, in this my first extended writing after an extended absence, I prefer the bright light of dreams that come true to the intruding darkness of wicked and dishonorable men.

Have you ever felt as if the sum total of your life’s experiences were taking you inexorably to a moment in time so defining, so utterly crystallizing that it will forever define not only your existence, but your everlasting happiness? Standing at the altar, on November 15, I counted my blessings that I had reached just such a pinnacle, and that it was a gloriously happy place to be.

The bridesmaids, including my daughter Christie, had taken their place at the altar. My groomsmen, including my son Benjamin (my Best Man), were behind me. I knew that when the doors to the sanctuary opened once more, my bride would be standing there, a radiant vision of serene beauty.

As my anticipation grew, my mind began to race and take rapid inventory of all the dreams and plans that had led to this moment. In a cascade of memories, I again saw the look on Shelley’s face when I knelt and proposed to her a year and a half earlier, the moment I placed her engagement ring on her finger, I saw the tears that welled up in her eyes when she saw the gift her Mother had made for her to commemorate our engagement. How radiant she looked at our engagement party, and my goodness but how her smile would light up the room when she introduced me as her fiancé.

I remembered the pain we felt as we held onto each other and onto our faith when circumstances totally out of our control required us to reschedule the wedding. All of these events, along with a seemingly infinite number of details and decisions, meetings with the wedding coordinators, looking at venues for the reception, assembling the registry, picking out flowers, colors, tuxedos, preparing invitations and stuffing them in envelopes, booking hotel reservations and limousine service, and so much more had culminated, finally, in this one, superlative moment. No pressure at all, Mr. Carter. Nope … just try not to screw up your lines, and oh yes, don’t get weepy.

From the pipe organ came the first grand notes of Trumpet Voluntary (I had asked the organist to please blast the dust out of the pipes and give a proper gust of volume as befits my bride). Accordingly, the majestic music filled every corner and inch of the sanctuary as everyone rose to their feet. In a moment, the doors opened. I thought I had known beauty before, but in that first instant when I saw her, resplendent in her wedding dress, her radiant smile, her eyes overflowing with such affection and love, I realized that I had been a mere pauper. Here, finally, was the lady who had only existed in my dreams, the ephemeral vision come to life. Here was a stunner of a vision, someone I could gladly live with, or die for.

I understand there were others in attendance, but in those first moments I couldn’t see any of them. In that wondrous instant, my lady was my world, and the world was a wondrous place. I was having mixed success fighting back the tears, but then I could see that Shelley was having the same problem. Fortunately, I had stuffed both pants pockets with Kleenex, though it was impossible to know who would need them most. I don’t know how to describe her dress properly, except to say that it was the most gorgeous dress I’ve ever seen. It had a cathedral-length train (I kept calling it “colosseum-length,” or “Amtrak-length”). Her dress incorporated wonderfully intricate designs into something like a Fleur de Lis pattern throughout. She wore two veils, which were also cathedral length, and a beautiful pendant that featured an elegant silver feather in homage to her Native American Indian heritage.

Two years earlier, on our first date, when the attraction became obvious to the point that we were simply gazing into each other’s eyes, I remember just smiling and saying, “Hi there!” to sort of break the mutual trance, if you will. Well folks, when she reached the front of the church that day (her brother, who gave her away, said he had to keep her from practically running down the aisle), I looked into her beautiful gaze and again said, “Hi there!” “Hi there,” she answered with a smile, and together we stepped up to the altar to take our wedding vows.

www.noelpennington.com

In keeping with both the solemnity and joy of the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, ours was a traditional Catholic Wedding Mass, complete with incense, sacred music, four priests, a deacon, and altar servers. Shelley had gone through the painstaking process of writing down virtually every word and portion of the Mass in the program we provided, including English translations of the Latin sections, largely to the benefit of the Protestants on my side of the equation.

The Mass was, as my friend (Ricochet Member, fellow military retiree, and groomsman) Bob Lee later said, like a fairy tale come to life. Our soloist, a Juilliard-trained tenor, sang “Ave Maria” so beautifully that my chill bumps had chill bumps. Looking into my bride’s eyes as I placed her wedding band on her finger, pledging my love and devotion in this life (and the next), hearing her vows to me, and hearing Father Clark announce us as husband and wife, it seemed that all the disparate pieces of life had finally found their place. We were one — mind, body, and spirit — and our world was made right.

There was one remaining detail to which we attended at the conclusion of the Mass. Shelley’s father had passed away years ago, and my own father passed away just last January, but our respective mothers were there, glowingly elated that their children had found happiness in each other. We owe our parents a debt that simply can’t be repaid. However we can surprise them from time to time, so at the conclusion of the service, the altar servers gave us each a beautiful white rose, which we then gave to our mothers to express, before our family and friends, at least something of the tremendous love and gratitude we feel for these remarkable ladies who not only gave us life, but showed us how to live it.

www.noelpennington.com

www.noelpennington.com

www.noelpennington.com

Exiting the sanctuary, my wife and I, along with our whole wedding party, turned left down the hall and into the family room, where everyone hugged everyone else before exiting into the courtyard and making our way back into the side entrance to the sanctuary for photos. As soon as we entered, someone (I forget who) ran and up and informed me that the limousine I had scheduled to take Shelley and I to the reception had arrived early and was waiting. I quickly made my way outside and told the limo driver that we would be out there as soon as the photos were done and he graciously said there was no hurry, shook my hand, and told me how wonderful it is to marry the right person. Well, who am I to argue that point?

Then, while our guests made their way across town to the reception, our family stayed at the church long enough for the photographer to work his magic. Thanks to a nifty little trick we had seen my niece employ at her wedding last summer, we started out with the largest group photos, and then paired them down gradually to the smaller group photos so that those family members whose photographic obligations had been met were released to head straightway to the reception.

There comes a point when events begin to blur and one’s grip on the moment becomes a little more tenuous. Looking back at the photographs that were taken following the ceremony, I honestly don’t remember standing there for a great deal of them. To a person, everyone in the photos is a dear soul and means the world to Shelley and I. And while I don’t appear to be distracted or auditioning for a role in “The Walking Dead” in these photos, if I had to recall the small talk or the particulars of several of these shots, I simply wouldn’t be able to do it, and that nags at me.

On the way to the reception, the limousine driver was polite. Very polite. Effusively and exorbitantly polite. He inquired as to where we were going on our honeymoon. “St. Lucia,” I said, whereupon he volunteered to take us on our next trip provided it was in the United States. Yes sir-ee, any place we wanted to go, he would drive us there himself and make sure we were well taken care of. Would he knock a little off the normal hourly rates for the limo company? No answer, though he became so thoroughly engrossed in telling us what a wondrous vacation the three of us could have together that he lost track of where he was and needed directions.

Now I’m not very well versed in navigating my way around Memphis just yet, and probably never will be either, having failed to snort the same brand of glue as the guy who mapped out the place. In fact, I’ve concluded that the majority of the city’s homeless population consist of those who simply couldn’t find their way home and gave up trying, grabbed a shopping cart, and decided to make the best of things. But my extraordinary wife figured the place out long ago, so she directed the limo driver to the venue.

www.noelpennington.com

Soon, we arrived at Hillwood, at Davies Plantation. Built in the 1830s, the plantation itself is on the National Register of Historic Places. But we didn’t have the reception in the plantation. Instead, we utilized a more modern building just down the little lane from the house. The 6,000-square-foot facility, beautifully rustic in appearance, was designed especially for special events on the property. There, Shelley and I were escorted into a side room to give us a chance to catch our breath and have a quick bite to eat while the ladies bustled up the train to Shelley’s wedding dress so she could enjoy the reception without dragging eight feet of material behind her. We took only a few bites of food, and ate even that much because we knew that we wouldn’t have a chance to eat at all once in the reception, but we were eager to meet our guests and get the festivities going.

www.noelpennington.com

Soon, the DJ announced the arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Dave Carter, and we entered the hall to the sound of the Golden Band from Tigerland playing the LSU Fight Song. The hall itself was gorgeously appointed, as well it should have been considering all the meetings and details we hammered out with the event coordinators. A seemingly limitless supply of twinkling lights worked their way up the columns inside the room, erupting into a veritable constellation of lights that shone down over the gathering. The tables were draped in royal blue satin with pink runners. At the center of each table, numerous tea lights rested on a small mirror, all of which combined to make a dazzling atmosphere. The wedding party’s table was especially beautiful, though we never got the chance to actually sit down at it.

www.noelpennington.com

We had arranged for our guests to begin eating as soon as they arrived, rather than have them starving during our picture session. So as soon as we entered the hall, we went straightway to cut the wedding cake so they could have dessert too. Did I mention that my wife teaches beginning and advanced cake decorating classes? Did I mention that she designed our cake herself? It was magnificent, and while I hated to take a knife to it, it had to be done. The groom’s cake was in the design of a book, with an actual page from my forthcoming (and first) work having been printed on sugar and used on the cake.

www.noelpennington.com

Next on the agenda were the toasts. My best man was, and always will be, my son Benjamin. He told the gathering that he had been filled first with happiness, and then with dread when I asked him to be my best man. The happiness was understandable, but the dread came when he realized he would be writing out a toast for a writer. “But Dad,” he said, “I did bring a red pen if you want to go over this later.” Ben continued:

The customary thing to do is to tell a few witty stories about the groom, wish the couple many happy years, toast and sit down. But after cutting the stories down to make sure they were appropriate for an occasion like this, I had nothing left. So I’m going to take a different approach.

They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. In 1994, Dad deployed to South Korea for a year, moving to North Carolina upon his return. When he moved I began to mimic everything I could about him without even thinking about it. Mannerisms, speech patterns (without all the words that make people want to reach for their dictionary [and hit me with it, Ben could have said, but didn’t]), everything. I was a child imitating my hero, making him feel closer to home by doing things he would do. I wore the same style clothing. When he grew his hair out after retiring from the military (of which there is photographic proof), I grew mine out as well. When he cut it short again, so did I. When he shaved his head … no.

Ben’s remarks were deeply moving at moments, hilarious at other moments, and poignant throughout. He warned Shelley, “He will make you laugh until you cry, and then laugh at you for crying,” but added, “he is fiercely loyal. The love and dedication you show him will only be returned exponentially.”

“We all have specific roles to fill today,” he concluded, “Bridesmaids, groomsmen, guests. I, on the other hand, have the wrong title. To the best man I know, and his new bride.” It’s tough to sip sparkling wine while choking back tears.

Shelley’s Matron of Honor Mairead offered an equally moving and wonderful toast, telling everyone about this incredible woman standing next to me, how Shelley took her as one of the family and what it means to be part of this remarkable and remarkably loving family. I was now, Mairead reminded me, the beneficiary of a heart whose capacity for love and kindness, strength and devotion was like no other. To the happy bride and groom indeed.

Then it was time for our first dance as husband and wife. We chose Van Morrison’s “Have I Told You Lately,” and I swear that from the first note it seemed that we were the only ones in the room. Looking into my wife’s beautiful eyes, drinking in that stunning smile and holding her close, I knew, finally, what love was meant to be.

www.noelpennington.com

The dancing complete, we had one more surprise planned, and this one involved the children, for you see, in the instant that Shelley said, “I do,” she not only became a wife, but a mom and a grandmother as well. Taking the microphone, Shelley explained that in Native American Indian culture, few things are as venerated as when one brings another into one’s family. Family is everything. Family is sacred. Native American tradition holds that when one family receives a person into the fold, they do so by wrapping an Indian blanket around them, signifying the bond that envelops them in love and belonging. Then, through tears of joy, Shelley called my children, Christie and Ben, to please come up. Wrapping them each in beautiful blankets that will always be theirs to keep as a reminder, Shelley held them close and welcomed them into Our Family.

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“Now,” my wife said to the gathering, “let’s get this party started.” Whereupon the DJ cranked up everything from “Uptown Funk” to “Play That Funky Music” to get things moving. My wonderful niece, Rebecca, even got my mother on the dance floor for “Cupid Shuffle,” which is a line dancing sort of arrangement. I tried, but never really mastered it, though the fact that I didn’t turn the dance floor into a demolition derby is a success of sorts, I suppose.

Goodness but there was a cross section of good people in attendance. Ricochet itself was commendably represented by a contingent that included 6’2” in Heels, Whiskey Sam, Concretevol and his beautiful bride, GDLIII and his lovely better half, Andrea Ryan and her fantastic family, and our beloved Troy Senik. (Troy will perhaps remember this event fondly, as the one gathering of Ricochet faithful in which he did not receive some sort of giraffe paraphernalia.) My own family from Louisiana and Florida were there, though some had had to cancel after we were forced to change from the original wedding date. The same applied to Shelley’s family, a few of whom had made arrangements to be here for the original date and whose schedules were not able to accommodate the change. There were doctors, accountants, clergy, technicians, a police officer, students, one presidential speech writer, and a trucker of questionable reputation in attendance.

www.noelpennington.com

www.noelpennington.com

We danced and danced some more. I had to take to the sidelines during the “Electric Slide” lest someone get hurt. I confess to experiencing something very close to nirvana when the DJ played Doug Kershaw’s version of “Jambalaya,” but I think my favorite part of the festivities happened right afterward, when “YMCA” began booming from the speakers. My mother in law, who lives life in overdrive, boogied her way over to Troy Senik, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Well, you might as well git up and git with it!” Then off she went, combining the “YMCA” with the funky chicken, the electric seizure, and a few other things that cannot be identified. My, but she was a happy lady and, as always, the life of the party. By this time, our pastor, Father Martell, had begun doing some sort of diving or snorkeling maneuver on the dance floor, his eclectic dance moves being the sort of stuff of which legends are made.

But it was time to wind down the festivities. Our coordinator informed us that the limo had arrived again to take us to our hotel, and as our guests started making their way outside to give us a proper send-off, Louis Armstrong began singing “What A Wonderful World over the speakers. A dream wasn’t coming to an end, though, rather, it was opening to reveal a lifetime dream. We stepped out of the doorway to resounding pops of silver streamers that showered us in gleaming revelry and made our way into the limo.

www.noelpennington.com

www.noelpennington.com

The alarm clock would wake us at 3:15 the following morning for our flight to St. Lucia, but at the close of this glorious and happy day, two people who had been united in friendship and love became one, united in Christ. As one of Shelley’s Christmas presents this year, I gave her a little sign that reads, “Once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.” This sign, like the love that illuminates our life together, will remain in our home always.

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  1. MLH Inactive
    MLH
    @MLH

    Felicitations, Dave and Shelly.
    Why do I think the Shelly’s cheeks were not tired at the end of day?Such a beautiful smile!

    • #1
  2. Whiskey Sam Inactive
    Whiskey Sam
    @WhiskeySam

    It was a wonderful day and great to see the joy on your faces!

    • #2
  3. Matt Bartle Member
    Matt Bartle
    @MattBartle

    So nice to read about unalloyed happiness for a change!

    Best to you both!

    • #3
  4. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    Beautiful!

    • #4
  5. BrentB67 Inactive
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    We could all use some positive news like this. Your bride’s smile is charming. May God Bless you with a long happy life together.

    • #5
  6. Nick Stuart Inactive
    Nick Stuart
    @NickStuart

    Best wishes and try to drop by more often.

    • #6
  7. EThompson Member
    EThompson
    @

    Our coordinator informed us that the limo had arrived again to take us to our hotel, and as our guests started making their way outside to give us a proper send-off, Louis Armstrong began singing “What A Wonderful World over the speakers.

    This part of your story really got to me as Satchmo’s classic was the first dance at my wedding reception!

    A note about all your photos: your family and guests looked almost as happy as the bride and groom. :)

    • #7
  8. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Dave,

    Linda & I were thrilled to be a witness to your wedding, certainly a major Rico event of the 2015 season.

    Not sure how we failed to find some giraffe inspired bagatelle that we could of foisted on Troy, something perhaps in the same league as the wriggling little babble that Bob Lee presented to you on your wedding’s eve…..I hope you have shown it to Shelley by now.

    Hope to see you guys when you visit the DC region

    yours,

    GLDIII

    • #8
  9. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Whiskey Sam:It was a wonderful day and great to see the joy on your faces!

    You as well Whiskey, and thank you so much for being a part of our celebration.  Interesting how different you look in person.  The camera makes you look more,….smokey, somehow.  I dunno…

    • #9
  10. mezzrow Member
    mezzrow
    @mezzrow

    Congratulations, Dave.  This great news and narrative is just what we need to hear.

    You clean up pretty good, btw.  I credit those Air Force Blues.

    What a wonderful family.

    • #10
  11. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    MLH:Felicitations, Dave and Shelly. Why do I think the Shelly’s cheeks were not tired at the end of day?Such a beautiful smile!

    She’s still smiling.  So am I!

    • #11
  12. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Nick Stuart:Best wishes and try to drop by more often.

    Oh, I will.  Count on it.

    • #12
  13. Concretevol Thatcher
    Concretevol
    @Concretevol

    It was an amazing wedding Dave and Shelly was a beautiful bride…obviously has questionable standards in men but beautiful and gracious.  :)  I thought I would share a couple pictures as well:

    The first is Dave’s cake that was an amazing representation of your new book complete with a page from the book!

    ?

    The second you will have to ask Dave or Bob Lee about….

    ?

    • #13
  14. Whiskey Sam Inactive
    Whiskey Sam
    @WhiskeySam

    Dave Carter:

    Whiskey Sam:It was a wonderful day and great to see the joy on your faces!

    You as well Whiskey, and thank you so much for being a part of our celebration. Interesting how different you look in person. The camera makes you look more,….smokey, somehow. I dunno…

    Honored to be there.  You know it’s a special occasion when I have on shoes.

    • #14
  15. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Concretevol,…it was great seeing you there.  About that second photo,…..we should talk. Then again, the moonshine was great, so it’s all good.

    • #15
  16. Concretevol Thatcher
    Concretevol
    @Concretevol

    Dave Carter:Concretevol,…it was great seeing you there. About that second photo,…..we should talk. Then again, the moonshine was great, so it’s all good.

    Hope you and your bride are well and had a merry Christmas Dave!  I thought the second picture turned out great…not sure what you are referring too.

    • #16
  17. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Dave and Shelly Carter, what a beautiful wedding, congratulations!

    • #17
  18. Mike LaRoche Inactive
    Mike LaRoche
    @MikeLaRoche

    Congrats Dave, and Merry Christmas!

    • #18
  19. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Concretevol:

    Dave Carter:Concretevol,…it was great seeing you there. About that second photo,…..we should talk. Then again, the moonshine was great, so it’s all good.

    Hope you and your bride are well and had a merry Christmas Dave! I thought the second picture turned out great…not sure what you are referring too.

    Actually, it’s Bob I need to speak with since that was HIS brainchild.  Unfortunately for him, I know where he lives.

    • #19
  20. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Kay of MT:Dave and Shelly Carter, what a beautiful wedding, congratulations!

    Thank you Kay!!

    • #20
  21. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Mike LaRoche:Congrats Dave, and Merry Christmas!

    Thanks Mike. I need to bring the Missus through your neck of the woods sometime.

    • #21
  22. Sandy Member
    Sandy
    @Sandy

    The world is always “horribly awry,” and always in need of stories like this.  Loved every word and every photo.

    • #22
  23. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Coupla hotties.

    Congratulations and best wishes for a lifetime of happiness.

    • #23
  24. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    It appears to have been quite the party.

    Dave Carter: … the moonshine was great …

    Wait, what?

    • #24
  25. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Percival:It appears to have been quite the party.

    Dave Carter: … the moonshine was great …

    Wait, what?

    I have a great source…

    • #25
  26. Jack Dunphy Member
    Jack Dunphy
    @JackDunphy

    Dave,

    It brought back fond memories of my own wedding.  Congratulations from the Dunphy family.

    • #26
  27. Dave Carter Podcaster
    Dave Carter
    @DaveCarter

    Jack Dunphy:Dave,

    It brought back fond memories of my own wedding. Congratulations from the Dunphy family.

    Thank you Sir.

    • #27
  28. John Russell Coolidge
    John Russell
    @JohnRussell

    Dave,

    I did a double take when I saw the four stripes on your sleeve and November 15, 2015 as your wedding date.  As it happens, my son and his new bride are both staff sergeants in the U.S. Air Force.  They also exchanged vows on November 15, 2015.  Could this be a pattern?

    I always enjoy reading your contributions to Ricochet. Best wishes all around!

    • #28
  29. profdlp Inactive
    profdlp
    @profdlp

    Best wishes to the lovely couple!

    • #29
  30. Cow Girl Thatcher
    Cow Girl
    @CowGirl

    So happy to see that you both are SO Happy! Best wishes for a long and joyful marriage.

    • #30
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