The Stupefying Erudition of Piers Morgan

It’s always entertaining, and sometimes even instructive, when liberals display the sort of intolerance they regularly accuse conservatives of harboring. Take the case of Larry Pratt, Executive Director of Gun Owners of America, who made the mistake of appearing on Piers Morgan’s show on a day when Morgan’s civility was showing. In the aftermath of Sandy Hook mass murder, the left’s solution appears to be to disarm as many law abiding people as possible, and anyone who doesn’t follow the logic of that prescription will be severely reprimanded by the superior wit and intellect of such as Mr. Morgan, to wit: 

Pratt: Your [Great Britain] violent crime rate is higher than ours as is the violent crime rate in Australia. America is not the Wild West that you are depicting. We only have the problem in our cities, and unhappily, in our schools where people like you have been able to get laws put on the books that keep people from being able to defend themselves. I honestly don’t understand why you would rather have people be victims of a crime than be able to defend themselves. It’s incomprehensible. 

Morgan: You’re an unbelievably stupid man, aren’t you? 

Pratt: It seems to me that you’re morally obtuse. You seem to prefer being a victim to being able to prevail over the criminal element. And I don’t know why you want to be the criminal’s friend.

Morgan: What a ridiculous argument. You have absolutely no coherent argument whatsoever. …

The reality, of course, is that Mr. Pratt was but a convenient piñata for Morgan’s intellectual batting practice, a stand-in for the real culprit; those knuckle-dragging Americans who insist on self defense: 

Pratt: The Second Amendment means what it says, and meanwhile, you want to continue laws against self-defense. Laws that prohibit self-defense. Laws that prohibit teachers and other faculty, other members of the administration in schools from being able to defend themselves if they have a concealed carry permit. The laws prohibit them right now. We have been lobbying against those laws since they were put on. We will continue to do so, pointing out that this is where the problem is. And for you to support them means that you’re really blind to the role that that plays in enabling murderers to operate with impunity.

Morgan: Yes, I know — I know why sales of these weapons have been soaring in the last few days. It’s down to idiots like you. Mr. Pratt, thank you for joining me. …

Put aside for a moment the fact that if weapons sales are soaring due to people like Mr. Pratt, who hasn’t gone on a murderous rampage, as opposed to people like the killer of Sandy Hook, then it is the law abiding citizen, concerned with the protection of his family and property who paradoxically meets Mr. Morgan’s definition of an idiot.

And put aside Piers Morgan’s facility with rhetoric, which is rivaled only by any preschooler who has learned just this week how to engage in name-calling. If he can be persuaded to step down from Mount Nursery School and put aside his little sticks and stones for a moment, perhaps Mr. Morgan will deign to explain to the benighted masses the following:

1) What is the intellectual case for defenselessness and what are its virtues, both on an individual and national basis?

2) Will these virtues of be of sufficient comfort to the families of the deceased?

3) Is it your opinion that at the moment of peril, the victims of the Sandy Hook killer preferred to be unarmed and defenseless?

4) In light of the awful events at Sandy Hook, would you preemptively disarmed other teachers and students, trusting their safety to the tender mercies of future killers? 

5) Do you believe that the lawless will turn in their weapons if ordered to do so by law?

6) If so, would you be willing to revise your definition of what makes one an idiot? 

7) If not, do you believe civil society will be advanced by disarming the law abiding citizenry?

8) Do you have the means to protect yourself, be it through a personal firearm or arrangements made for your protection?

9) Are your offices at CNN protected by force of arms?

10) If so, wouldn’t it boost the credibility of your argument to assume the same level of defenselessness you would impose on teachers at elementary schools given the fact that they are every bit as much of a target as a CNN personality?

11) Are you aware that the Aurora, Colorado killer chose as his target the only movie theater in town that posted signs prohibiting concealed handguns? Does this datum figure into your general estimation of the effectiveness of gun free zones? 

12) Are you aware that, with the exception of the Tucson 2011 shooting, “…every public shooting since at least 1950 in the US, in which more than three people have been killed has taken place where citizens are not allowed to carry guns,” according to John Lott? 

13) According to Dr. Thomas Sowell, the rate of gun ownership is higher in rural America than in urban America. In which of the two areas is the murder rate the highest?

Today, I delivered a load of scarecrows to Philadelphia. I had originally assumed that I was carting a trailer full of freshly registered Democrat voters up here for the next election, but I see now that I was mistaken. Evidently, the left needs a few more straw men to debate, since they don’t ask the sort of questions we pesky conservatives ask, untutored as we are in elementary ad hominem.

But when they’ve exhausted their intellectual energies defending such assumptions as that weakness equals strength or that a criminal will be more likely to honor gun laws than politicians are to honor the Constitution, perhaps people such as Mr. Morgan can pause and consider their happy station in a country predicated on the individual’s right to self defense and thank their good fortune for people such as Thomas Paine, who wrote that, “The supposed quietude of a good man allures the ruffian; while on the other hand, arms like laws, discourage and keep the invader and the plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property.” Or was Paine an idiot too?

  1. Fricosis Guy

    He’s the definitive argument against evolution. It’s a known fact that chimpanzees in zoos world-wide fling [CoC-violation] at the TV when he comes on.  They’re outraged that they’re caged while he runs free.

  2. Chris Campion


    Whiskey Sam: One of the unfortunate aspects of our modern society is that jackasses no longer have to worry about getting punched in the mouth when they deserve it; they’re given their own talk shows instead. · 7 hours ago

    This is the primary reason we see and hear garbage.  It’s the lack of respect shown to someone else who disagrees with you, because of the assumption that nothing will happen to you.  Kind of like teasing the bullies in the schoolyard through the windows, from the safety of the classroom, with the teacher behind you. 

    What’s it like to live your life doing something you would never do, if you had to live with the consequences of what you said?  Like getting punched in the face?  Would the lofty air of superiority look quite so dashing to a Piers Morgan if he was picking his teeth up off the ground?

    Cowardice in any form is ugly to behold.  The world does not live in the same place that Piers thinks he does.  One day he’ll find that out.

  3. KC Mulville

    If Pratt is unbelievably stupid, why did Morgan’s show bring him on? There are only two possibilities:

    1. They were unaware that Pratt might make such an argument, but then one wonders about the unbelievable stupidity of Morgan’s staff.

    2. Ambush.

    They planned to call their own guest “unbelievably stupid” before they brought him on. I wouldn’t be surprised if Morgan was reading it off a cue card.  

  4. Guruforhire

    I remember watching cnn around 2002 or so CNN had someone on and they were asking them all manner of questions and the guest told the reporter they were lying and countered the argument.  The reporter went bonkers.

  5. Colin B Lane

    Soledad O’Brien had essentially the same interview with John Lott. Lott simply crushed her with facts and figures, and Soledad spluttered inanities mixed with a heavy dose of personal venom towards Lott. It’s what happens when you live in a leftwing bubble: your ability to construct a rational argument — hell, even your ability to hold a thoughtful conversation — diminishes. The brain needs exercising just like all other parts of the body. But these folks lounge in echo chambers all day, and grow more and more intellectually flaccid.I just hope the viewing public is catching on.

  6. Barkha Herman

    Any time I hear the words Piers Morgan in the news, I treat myself to this:

    Piers Morgan getting punched.

  7. DrewInWisconsin

    I would have given a pile of money to hear Pratt snap back “Thank you for joining me?! Thank you for joining me??!?! You supercilious idiot! Why did you invite me on, if all you were going to do was shout and call me “stupid” and “moron” in your ridiculous and probably fake accent?” And then continue shouting at Morgan until the bouncers dragged him away.

  8. Aimee Jones

    What excellent questions, Dave, particularly 1-4 and 5-13. What I cannot fathom in this debate is how piling on more laws will stop someone who is unconcerned with laws to begin with from committing violent crimes. I am certain several existing laws were broken during this rampage, so what makes any reasonable person think that any new regulations will have any effect whatsoever.

  9. Mike LaRoche

    In this case, Mr. Morgan met a pinata that hit back, and said pinata knocked the dear chap out cold. Blimey!

  10. Schrodinger
    Dave Carter

    4)  In light of the awful events at Sandy Hook, would you preemptively disarmed other teachers and students, trusting their safety to the tender mercies of future killers? 


    The apparent answer is – YES!


    A staff member who was worried about safety after the tragedy in Connecticut brought her own loaded gun to an elementary school on Wednesday.

    Police say a staff member in her late 50s brought a .357 magnum revolver into the school. It was loaded with five rounds. She put it in a locker in a faculty lounge and told a teacher. That teacher then told school officials, who alerted police.

    A spokesman said the staff member has worked in the school district for 21 years without incident. She was put on administrative leave. She told police that she was concerned about what happened in Newtown, Conn.

    The staff member did have a gun permit, but guns are not allowed in Minnesota schools.

    The staff member is not a teacher, and so far has not been charged with a crime.


  11. MBF

    Heh. I often sputter out insults from my couch while watching talking heads on the news give opinions I disagree with. Maybe I could get my own show on CNN too.

  12. Guruforhire

    The problem with liberals is they have no imagination, I rarely say things like this, but it is pretty much the common malady over all their positions.

    See if you take the mental picture of your crazy person, and take the gun out of his hand, he doesn’t have a gun anymore and cant do anything bad.

  13. flownover


    You are a generous man to spend that much time on yet another poncey twit . I am a confessed anglophile, but not that group. I would rather have Dawn French sit on me than listen to Piers whoever. Is Piers the english version of Doc ? 

    This guy replaced Larry King, so imagine the shame of being a substitute rutting cardiac dinosaur ? His interview style leaves a great deal to be desired. But then I generally avoid the channel. I’ll be happy reading Waugh and worshipping Churchill when I need my britfix.

    This male version of Tina Brown needs a cold serving of spotted dick and a bucket of treacle, just as a personality enhancement. His whole schtick looks alot like what some elite east coaster considers sophisticated. Like Hugh Grant cruising trannies at 4am – no class.

    CNN has such sophisticated origins to maintain after all.

    Eason Jordan and Ted Turner’s values are on show here. CNN, Clinton News Network 

  14. Ryan M

    Bringing a guest on and calling him an idiot, huh?  If that show stays on the air for another year, I will be amazed.  Piers Morgan makes a complete fool out of himself every single show.  Between him and Chris Matthews, I am a bit concerned about how the Democrats get any votes at all.

  15. Crow

    Great post, Dave. Exactly right. I heard him expounding this nonsense on CNN yesterday, not his own show but he was just as intolerably obnoxious as a guest.

    If I may, I’ll add one question to this very fine list:

    Mr. Morgan, have you ever handled or shot a firearm?

  16. Skyler

    Edward Murrow he is not. It’s unbelievable that such petty morons get paid.

  17. Susan in Seattle

     “If he can be persuaded to step down from Mount Nursery School and put aside his little sticks and stones for a moment…”


  18. Pony Convertible

    When someone calls you a name, like “Idiot” .  Thank them and point out that name calling is proof that they have no counter argument and have no where else to go.  When someone calls me a name, I declare victory in the debate.

  19. She

    This male version of Tina Brown needs a cold serving of spotted dick and a bucket of treacle, just as a personality enhancement. His whole schtick looks alot like what some elite east coaster considers sophisticated. Like Hugh Grant cruising trannies at 4am – no class.

    Please do not squander my very favorite pudding in this wasteful way.

    Unfortunately, in these politically correct times, even spotted dick isn’t what it used to be, as it is usually no longer made with suet, nor firmly knotted into, and gently simmered for about three weeks in, a large square of muslin.  At this point, its consistency and appearance are indescribable, so I won’t even try.  And I think there’s probably a Health and Safety law against the thick, lumpy custard with the skin on top that it should properly be served with.

    Sad, really.

  20. Franciscus

    In honor of the 200 year anniversary of the War of 1812, I propose throwing the Limy out of the country for treasonous talk, and a general bad attitude. 

    If we would have listened to this man back then we would have a king, insane debt, a useless constitution, and state run economy.  Oh, wait……

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