Ten Reasons To Be Happy If Obama Gets A Second Term

 

1. It’s good news for Ricochet. (The conservative media thrives during left-wing presidencies. Provided, of course, that this president doesn’t find some way of banning it).

2. The price of your gold will soar. (Though remember not to reveal its location to the Feds. Otherwise they may well confiscate it, as happened under FDR).

3. Whoever replaces him after his second terms is going to be really, really good. Not just because the list of candidates is so strong – Paul Ryan, Allen West, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul….. – but because the relief will be so great.

4. America will finally have demonstrated to the world that Obama’s electoral success wasn’t just about race. It was about stupidity too.

5. The GOP will be forced to get its act together. Its best scientific minds will ensure that no freak storms interfere with their next run at the presidency; its strategists will finally work out that they need to get some of those groovy kids like the Obama campaign has – you know, ones that really understand the interweb thingy, and can do cool stuff like send targeted fundraising messages to sympathisers on their iPhones.

6. It will be much easier to empathise with the pain of Greece, Venezuela and the Democratic Republic of Congo – because that’s where your economy is headed.

7. No need for any tedious debates about who was the worst president in US history. After his second term, Obama is going to make Jimmy Carter look like Ronald Reagan.

8. Ricochet will go from strength to strength. Oh, did I already mention that? Gotta think positive. Just keep accentuating the positive. Don’t let the dark thoughts in, just don’t think too hard about the fact that Obama is going to be president for four more years because, well, just don’t.

9 At least all the people on welfare are going to be happy. They’ll probably celebrate by buying a new flat screen TV. And you don’t want to begrudge them their simple, innocent joy, do you? What kind of killjoy Grinch would that make you?

10. Pinch yourself. Hard. Gotta be worth a shot: if you’re really lucky you might discover it has all been just a terrible dream.

Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s growing community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Get your first month free.

Members have made 41 comments.

  1. 1
  2. 2
  1. Profile photo of Mafuta Kizola Inactive

    Why am I suspecting that there is a reason 11 :

    – Sell happy pills to depressed Conservatives and make trillions. Did you happen to buy stocks in any pharmaceutical venture Mr Delingpole ?

    I guess the best that can be done is think about Unicorns at this point, I hope it is the other side that shall go insane, but anything can happen.

    • #1
    • November 6, 2012 at 3:35 am
  2. Profile photo of Pablo Member

    Nothing better than good-old-fashioned English humor to uplift our spirits. I think I am going to go for a stroll in Burnley today. After that even an Obama victory will look fine. Although in four years most of the western world will look like England’s North West…

    here is my contribution:

    Reason 12: yobs and friends bringing down wind mills to scavenge for metals and REE to sell on the black market… (that I am sure you will aprove of Mr Delingpole) … if the US economy will look like Greece’s imagine England’s…

    • #2
    • November 6, 2012 at 3:50 am
  3. Profile photo of Beach Baby Member

    Reason #13: Nothing holding you back now from moving to New Zealand or the Caribbeans. 

    • #3
    • November 6, 2012 at 4:07 am
  4. Profile photo of Leigh Member

    Nice try. I’ll look at it again after the results come in (if they’re bad) but I don’t think it will work.

    The only thing to make me happy if Obama gets reelected — which I still think far too likely — is that God is in control over it all. 

    • #4
    • November 6, 2012 at 4:09 am
  5. Profile photo of mesquito Inactive

    I awoke Eeyore-ish. This doesn’t help.

    • #5
    • November 6, 2012 at 4:31 am
  6. Profile photo of Front Ranger Inactive

    Reason 14: Finally have a reason (and time) to sharpen my farming and bow-hunting skills.

    • #6
    • November 6, 2012 at 4:51 am
  7. Profile photo of James Delingpole Contributor
    James Delingpole Post author

    15 If you own a gun store, expect sales to rocket!

    • #7
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:13 am
  8. Profile photo of James Delingpole Contributor
    James Delingpole Post author

    16. You enjoyed Red Dawn? Now’s your chance to live it for real, only, instead of Soviets it turns out your enemy is your own country’s Justice Department.

    • #8
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:16 am
  9. Profile photo of RCE Inactive
    RCE

    Pablo – I suggest travelling on to Nelson to soften the impact a little further.

    • #9
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:21 am
  10. Profile photo of RightinChicago Inactive

    17. Becoming a political prisoner will be the new “cool thing to do”. So conservatives will finally be cool.

    • #10
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:24 am
  11. Profile photo of Redneck Desi Inactive

    I thought what was good for Ricochet was good for America!

    • #11
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:29 am
  12. Profile photo of Pony Convertible Member

    I agree with all your points except #5. I have no confidence that the GOP will ever get its act together.

    • #12
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:33 am
  13. Profile photo of Front Ranger Inactive

    Wolverines! I even live in Colorado where the original was shot. Reason 19, then, is an excuse to grow a Swayze mullet.

    James Delingpole: 16. You enjoyed Red Dawn? Now’s your chance to live it for real, only, instead of Soviets it turns out your enemy is your own country’s Justice Department. · 15 minutes ago
    • #13
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:35 am
  14. Profile photo of Percival Thatcher

    18. “Subversive chic” is a great way to meet girls.

    • #14
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:36 am
  15. Profile photo of Joseph Eagar Member

    Here’s one good point: we can finally give up on the myth that playing 15% of the electorate off of the 35%-40% of your party’s base is somehow good for winning elections or governing afterwards. If Romney loses to Obama, it will be despite his huge support among Independents. George Bush won elections without winning Independents, too.

    Those of us more inclined towards the center should concentrate on convincing base voters that our views are correct, not on schemes to exclude them from the democratic process entirely, or hand governance over to a 15% minority who don’t really pay attention to politics to begin with.

    • #15
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:38 am
  16. Profile photo of MMPadre Inactive
    RightinChicago: 17. Becoming a political prisoner will be the new “cool thing to do”. So conservatives will finally be cool. · 12 minutes ago

    It would be good for the Catholic Church, as well: oppression will become more blatant –reinforcing the contrast with her genuinely counter-cultural and sacred message, so inspiring those who are timid by nature to take a stand, and making the quislings among us less able to hide their hypocrisy and shame.

    • #16
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:49 am
  17. Profile photo of Mafuta Kizola Inactive

    Reason 19 : Making subversive babies for love and electoral supremacy in 2030.

    Percival: 18. “Subversive chic” is a great way to meet girls. · 13 minutes ago
    • #17
    • November 6, 2012 at 5:57 am
  18. Profile photo of Cal Lawton Member

    You didn’t list impeachment.

    • #18
    • November 6, 2012 at 6:01 am
  19. Profile photo of mask Inactive

    Liberalism/progressivism will finally be proven to be wrong! Right?

    Who am I kidding they’ll keep blaming Bush and whatever else.

    • #19
    • November 6, 2012 at 6:08 am
  20. Profile photo of Edward Smith Inactive

    James, you are a Ray of Sunlight.

    There is virtue to putting aside thoughts of what can go wrong, and playing cricket with your children on that vast estate you live on now.

    Cricket-with-Family.jpg

    • #20
    • November 6, 2012 at 6:16 am
  21. Profile photo of Mothership_Greg Inactive

    When President Obama finally gets around to FOCA, as he has promised to do, we can all celebrate the fall of our tyrannical abortion restrictions, bringing us in line with the enlightened part of the world. I’m looking forward to Card Check, as well. Maybe a little cap-and-trade? I’m sure the Republicans in the House will stop their obstructionism for some bipartisan economic destruction, or maybe the new business czar can take care of this without that nasty problem of dealing with those ‘baggers.

    • #21
    • November 6, 2012 at 6:21 am
  22. Profile photo of The Mugwump Inactive

    The only thing harder than maintaining a republic is getting it back after it’s been lost. I appreciate the attempt at humor, but there is no upside to this scenario. If we win, massive civil disorder will follow. If we lose, something much worse . . .

    • #22
    • November 6, 2012 at 6:33 am
  23. Profile photo of Pablo Member
    RCE: Pablo – I suggest travelling on to Nelson to soften the impact a little further. · 1 hour ago

    I will leave Nelson for when Obama goes for the third term…. although I am not sure I will be allowed in by then…

    • #23
    • November 6, 2012 at 6:41 am
  24. Profile photo of James Delingpole Contributor
    James Delingpole Post author
    Edward Smith: James, you are a Ray of Sunlight.

    There is virtue to putting aside thoughts of what can go wrong, and playing cricket with your children on that vast estate you live on now. · 50 minutes ago

    I love this photo. Should Obama get a second term I will do everything I can to get you and your family residency in the UK, on the grounds of clear cultural compatibility. That is, assuming you aren’t English already….

    • #24
    • November 6, 2012 at 7:09 am
  25. Profile photo of Misthiocracy Member

    I’ve already started looking at Jimmy Carter in a friendlier light.

    After all, no embassy personnel died under his presidency.

    • #25
    • November 6, 2012 at 7:13 am
  26. Profile photo of Misthiocracy Member
    James Delingpole
    Edward Smith: James, you are a Ray of Sunlight.

    There is virtue to putting aside thoughts of what can go wrong, and playing cricket with your children on that vast estate you live on now. · 50 minutes ago

    I love this photo. Should Obama get a second term I will do everything I can to get you and your family residency in the UK, on the grounds of clear cultural compatibility. That is, assuming you aren’t English already…. · 3 minutes ago

    So their lives can be ruled by Brussels? You monster!

    😉

    (Move to Canada. Conservative government and no EU. Heh heh heh. Plus, there’s quite a bit of Cricket.)

    • #26
    • November 6, 2012 at 7:15 am
  27. Profile photo of Misthiocracy Member
    James Delingpole: 16. You enjoyed Red Dawn? Now’s your chance to live it for real, only, instead of Soviets it turns out your enemy is your own country’s Justice Department. · 1 hour ago

    I hope you are referring to the original Red Dawn, and not the dreadful remake.

    😉

    • #27
    • November 6, 2012 at 7:21 am
  28. Profile photo of Misthiocracy Member
    Edward Smith:

    There is virtue to putting aside thoughts of what can go wrong, and playing cricket with your children on that vast estate you live on now.

    Are those the Warriors of Krikkit?

    😉

    • #28
    • November 6, 2012 at 7:25 am
  29. Profile photo of Misthiocracy Member

    I’m here all week. Please tip your waitress.

    • #29
    • November 6, 2012 at 7:27 am
  30. Profile photo of Yeah...ok. Member

    I owe back taxes, I’m qualified for a position on the new cabinet.

    • #30
    • November 6, 2012 at 7:28 am
  1. 1
  2. 2