My Tax Dollars at Work: STD Bingo at Central Michigan University

The tawdry practices described in detail in Nathan Harden’s fine book Sex and God at Yale: Porn, Political Correctness, and a Good Education Gone Bad appear to be spreading far and wide.

Last week, The College Fix reported that Allegheny College in Meadville, Pennsylvania had hosted a masturbation tutorial in the college chapel [Note: graphic sexual language ahead]:

Allegheny College’s Ford Memorial Chapel was transformed into a boudoir of sorts Wednesday night, as professional sex educators advised students in attendance how best to touch themselves and their partners to reach orgasm in what was billed as an educational seminar.

The chapel, built and dedicated in 1902, is where Catholic mass and non-denominational services are conducted every week at the private liberal arts college in northwestern Pennsylvania. But all that took a back pew to Wednesday’s festivities, dubbed “I Heart the Female Orgasm” and hosted by a variety of student groups on campus.

The two sex educators, Marshall Miller and Kate Weinberg, talked students through a variety of masturbation techniques during the event.

“Sometimes it can be difficult finding your G spot by yourself, because it involves inserting a finger or fingers inside the vagina into the front wall of the body, and that kind of results in an awkward, kind of clawlike hand position,” Weinberg said, demonstrating with a pawing motion as the audience giggled. “Obviously, there are better ways you can position your body. Or if you’ve got a partner, you can get your partner to insert their finger or fingers inside your vagina in the front wall of your body in a sort of a J curve.”

Miller also weighed in, noting “some (women) find that if they change the angle or position, they can find some way of rubbing against their partner’s body, against the base of his penis or pubic bone, and with rubbing to have enough stimulation to orgasm in intercourse.”

I was, as you can imagine, especially delighted to learn that the college chaplain defended the location of the event, contending that “the program advocates responsible, respectful decision-making regarding sexual behavior”; and I thought it heart-warming that a spokesman for the Allegheny College administration thought that the program conveyed “a great message about caring relationships.” You see, I had always had the impression that masturbation was a solitary exercise. You live, and you learn.

Even better, however, was the fact the sex educators took their appearance in the chapel as an opportunity to interpret the Bible.

“Some people figure out masturbation and orgasm as teenagers, some people figure it out later than that,” said Weinberg, describing her lifelong fascination with pleasuring herself. “And some people figure it out earlier than that. Like preschool age. I was part of that last category.”

Weinberg also weighed in on a portion of the Book of Genesis in regard to masturbation.

“So this primary anti-masturbation story is about this guy, Onan. … And Onan refused to sleep with his brother’s wife, so he spilled his seed on the ground — that’s how it’s defined — and for that, God struck him dead,” she said.

But Weinberg said she believes that because Biblical scholars debate the exact meanings of many portions of the Bible, it permits a wide variety of sexual activity.

“A lot of Bible scholars say that’s the primary anti-masturbation story, but I don’t really see it,” she continued. “Onan wasn’t struck dead for masturbating. He was struck down for not sleeping with his brother’s wife. So the masturbation wasn’t the sin. So obviously, you know, the Bible is something that is interpreted in a lot of different ways.”

The things that you can learn for ca. $50,000 a year at Allegheny College!

But look: if you cannot come up with that much scratch, you could always attend Central Michigan University, where the out-of-state tuition is a measly $34,620 — including room and board.

CondomCasino.pngWhy, tonight, with the help of my tax dollars, CMU is reportedly hosting Condom Casino— “in which students can gamble to win condoms in games such as ‘5-Card Foreplay Poker’ and ‘STD Bingo.'”

“Experience what happens when a casino night, speed dating and the topic of sex combine for a provocative night of prizes and awareness,” the official website for the event reads

CMU has outsourced the event to a private company, which apparently puts on the “Condom Casino Tour” across the country. It is not clear if the individuals employed by theorganization possess any special medical credentials to discuss matters of sexual health with students. The organization describes the Condom Casino as a “brand new program arousing college campuses across the country.”

The program also promises to be “highly interactive” and advertises to attendees “it is fun, it is fast paced, it is full of surprises and it is certainly a safe bet to sex awareness on any campus!”

My only disappointment in reading about this event came when I learned that the organizers eschewed talking about morality. You clearly get more for your money at Allegheny College!