How Do I Tell The Pediatrician To Buzz Off?

Tomorrow, I’ll be taking my daughter to the pediatrician for her annual check-up. Pediatricians these days, on the advice or requirement of the American Academy of Pediatrics, ask parents about guns in their house.

The AAP is rabidly anti-gun, as Forbes’ Paul Hsieh notes:

[T]he American Academy of Pediatrics is

  1. DrewInWisconsin

    What would you say to a pediatrician who asked you whether you keep any guns in your house?

    You put on your best Southern Lady charm, smile, and say “So, I suppose because of Obamacare, you’ll be paid slave wages — or maybe you’ll lose your job entirely? Poor thing.”

  2. J Climacus

    What’s wrong with “I’m sorry, but that’s none of your business?”

  3. SteveS

    Plead the fifth…….only after first declaring your innocence of any wrong doing or illegal activity…….declare you have never had any involvement with a firearm……….and if that fails admit that you weren’t even aware of what a firearm was until you saw it on the news….with the rest of us….last Friday I believe it was.

    If all all else fails Mollie………run to New Jersey!

  4. Salamandyr

    This, minus the “I’m sorry”

    J Climacus: What’s wrong with “I’m sorry, but that’s none of your business?” · 7 minutes ago

  5. BrentB67

    The Constitution of the United States guarantees our God given right to keep and bear arms. The Constitution has been preserved by the treasure earned through honest hard work like you are doing here in the medical field and by the blood of young men and women who’ve voluntarily gone in harm’s way so we can be free to earn a living as each of us see fit including as a pediatrician.

    The same Constitution that guarantees your right to practice medicine guarantees our right to keep and bear arms. The Constitution also guarantees the rights of radical left wing organizations to speak freely for their cause of restricting other’s 2nd Amendment rights.

    When I checked in with your very courteous and professional receptionist in the office I thought I was here for my children to receive medical care from an outstanding professional doctor not to attend a gun show. I am sorry, was there a question?

    Try that and if he/she persists tell them it is none of their %#$@& business.

  6. Fake John Galt
    Answer, no. When an unknown party asks a question that is none of their business they deserve a lie as an answer. The sad part about government intrusiveness is that it makes liars out of all of us in the end.
  7. Maggie

    So…I was asked this at an appointment with my son a few years ago. I really like my N.P. and have had a good relationship with him throughout the years (my boys have had lots of broken bones so we see him more frequently than I would like). 

    When he asked if I had any guns in the house my reply was, “Doug, why in the world are you asking me that? That is none of your, or anyone else’s, business. Who’s dumb idea was it to add that question the list? Seems kind of like a politically motivated question and I am not answering it.”  His response was an apologetic explanation. I just said I didn’t care why and repeated that it is none of their business. He never asked again. 

  8. Pencilvania

    ‘After what happened to the schoolchildren in Newtown, Connecticut, I think having a locked gun in a house with children would be deemed a preventative measure. ‘

  9. Aaron Miller

    Your instinct is correct, Mollie. When someone asks a question like that because of political encouragement, being polite is the wrong response, whatever your words. Doctors should be uncomfortable asking that question every single time, if they are too cowardly or confused to reject such a guideline.

    Hopefully, conservative physicians will start listing themselves as such (by way of alliances, rather than on their business cards) so that the free market can punish cowards and bullies. Then again, I suppose Obamacare will eventually negate that possibility by financially rewarding loyal henchmen.

  10. Basil Fawlty

    No, but I have one in the car.

  11. Group Captain Mandrake

    My response would be, “No, should I?”

    To the best of my knowledge, my pediatrician has never asked this (but then we live in New York, so he probably doesn’t need to ask).

  12. The King Prawn

    Open carry. Then the question need not (and probably won’t) be asked.

  13. notmarx

    Do you have a carry permit? 

  14. Tuck

    My response would be a violation of Ricochet’s terms, so I won’t type it here.  I would also fire the pediatrician.

  15. Matthew Gilley

    “I have no guns in my house, Doc. They are on my person at all times.”

  16. Valiuth

    Tell them you have 124 individual guns in your home at your last count, but that you have more if needed at a vacation home and in your car.

  17. Foxman

    How’s about “How often do you have sex?

  18. The King Prawn

    There’s always, “Yes! But little Johnny is only allowed to use the ones he’s trained on.”

  19. KC Mulville

    If your logic is …

    • You’re paid to give health advice

    • Everything affects health
    • Therefore, you’re entitled to give advice on everything

    … you’re wrong.

    I only pay you to give health advice when I ask for it.

  20. Klaatu

    “Enter my home late at night and unannounced and you will find out.”

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