Happy V-Day from Dartmouth College!

Of course, this is elite academia we’re talking about, so the “V” has nothing to do with St. Valentine.

Nay, up in Hanover this week they are busy trying to figure out “whether the Vagina Monologues suffers from a lack of diversity”–among other vital V-related questions, all part of Dartmouth’s “V-Week”.

I’ve never seen The Vagina Monologues. But it’s been around for, I believe, 20 years or more. So whatever shock value it may have had when it was first written doubtlessly appears prudish alongside the hardcore realities of modern-day academic erotica.

It only makes sense that such antiquated material is due for a good modern day PC strip search, probing every nook and cranny for the slightest evidence of multicultural insensitivity.

Good progressives must warn students to shun the non-diverse perverse, which is the very worst kind of perverse.

To paraphrase Christopher Buckley: The Ivy mighty are known for their ability to carry out the lowest absurdity with the highest degree of solemnity.

Meanwhile, everyone’s wondering where men and manliness have run off to. Maybe they were scared off 20 years ago by The Vagina Monologues.

It’s easy–maybe too easy–to sit here and make fun of the perpetual feedback of liberal white elitist guilt embodied in hand-wringing over the lack of diversity in a play about vaginas. What isn’t so easy is to do anything to improve the state of affairs for the lost love-seeking youth of today, at the dawn of THE END OF MEN.

Love is hard for young people to find in this gender-pinched modern world, no doubt. And modern sexuality is beginning to resemble a mass psychosis.

“What Is Love?” asks Victor Hugo.

Those of us who have true love this Valentine’s Day — let us rejoice, be grateful, and take a moment to kiss our lovers.

And t0 those seeking true love: May you find it.