First They Came for My Bacon

 

bacon-flagI feel like I’m being trolled. This announcement has all the ingredients to make me furious: it’s a “health” message in the New York Times, from a UN-ish Non-Governmental Busybody, aimed at governments around the world who interest themselves with their citizens’ eating habits.

In other words, it’s the perfect storm of nonsense. Plus, they’re trying to take away our bacon.

From the NYTimes:

Eating processed meat, like hot dogs and corned beef, can raise the risk in humans of getting colon cancer, a report by the World Health Organization said on Monday.

There was also some evidence that eating red meat, including beef, pork and lamb, can cause cancer in the colon, prostate or pancreas, the W.H.O.’s International Agency for Research on Cancer said in the report.

File this in the “Not Interested Department.” And I don’t care about this, either:

The findings, which are meant to help governments make dietary recommendations, linked increased risks of developing certain cancers to the amount of meat consumed.

Okay, joking aside, I still have a hard time wondering why the WHO is spending any money and any brain cycles worrying about this, when there are so many other World Health Crises for the World Health Organization to deal with, like malaria and all sorts of horrible diseases. Those, of course, are in Africa or somewhere else, far from my charcuterie plate, miles and miles from my bacon.

It reminds me of a joke I read last week:

Normal Person: Women as young as 11 are being sold into slavery, sexually abused, and murdered with impunity in the Middle East!

Feminist: Yes, but there aren’t enough women on the Facebook board of directors.

They keep missing the forest for the bacon-scented trees.

Members have made 65 comments.

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  1. Profile photo of DrewInWisconsin Member

    Okay, joking aside, I still have a hard time wondering why the WHO is spending any money and any brain cycles worrying about this, when there are so many other World Health Crises for the World Health Organization to deal with, like malaria and all sorts of horrible diseases.

    Because WHO exists to nag Western Nations (read: America) to do what WHO believes is the right thing. In this case, we must all give up our patriarchal devotion to cooking meat and become thin, wispy vegans living a meager existence.

    After all, eating meat makes Americans grow up big and strong, and we can’t have that! It’s not fair to other nations.

    • #1
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:06 pm
  2. Profile photo of The King Prawn Member

    They can have my bacon when they pry it from my cold, dead hands … so a little patience on their part, if they’re right, is all I’m really asking.

    • #2
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:08 pm
  3. Profile photo of BrentB67 Inactive

    I am wondering why any American tax dollars go to fund the WHO.

    • #3
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:10 pm
  4. Profile photo of Nick Stuart Inactive

    It ran on all the major net news tonight (saw it at the Y). All the reports were heavily edited, and relied heavily on B-roll. When I saw steaks on the grill I wondered “are they talking about that specific steak that’s on screen, or steaks generally as a class?”

    • #4
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:11 pm
  5. Profile photo of Percival Thatcher

    Spending any time obsessing over studies flacked by the New York Times leads to cranial rectal impaction.

    • #5
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:27 pm
  6. Profile photo of Kate Braestrup Member

    Rob Long: Normal Person: Women as young as 11 are being sold into slavery, sexually abused, and murdered with impunity in the Middle East! Feminist: Yes, but there aren’t enough women on the Facebook board of directors.

    The only thing I’d change is:

    Feminist (outraged) yes AND there aren’t enough women on the Facebook board of directors.

    Since we feminists have a tendency to conflate real world problems with first world problems as if they were all One Problem. As long as one person is oppressed, then none of us is free! Therefore if there is genital mutilation in Ethiopia, I am oppressed.

    • #6
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:29 pm
  7. Profile photo of Tuck Inactive

    Rob Long: I feel like I’m being trolled.

    You are. They’re looking at what are known as epidemiological studies, which cannot demonstrate cause and effect.

    So this is like saying eating ice cream causes shark bites. Hey, they both happen in the summer, they’re highly correlated, so there you go!

    Lies, damn lies, and the ignorant interpretation of statistics.

    But a win for WHO because they got headlines around the world.

    And yes, I’ve looked into the research behind this extensively. I’ll continue to eat my bacon.

    • #7
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:33 pm
  8. Profile photo of CB Toder aka Mama Toad Member

    As my little daughter who just walked past me just said, “Mmmmm, bacon!”

    (edit: and she collapsed in a fit of the giggles when she realized it was the American flag, then spent about ten minutes spinning around and saying, “Mmmmm, bacon! Mmmm, bacon!”)

    • #8
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:36 pm
  9. Profile photo of Jimmy Carter Member

    Governments making sausages is much more hazardous.

    • #9
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:38 pm
  10. Profile photo of Cow Girl Thatcher

    One of my children once asked me if we are going to eat when we get to heaven. We discussed the story in the New Testament about Jesus eating with people after He’d been resurrected, but to myself, I thought, “Hmmm…how can it be Heaven if there isn’t any bacon??”

    I heard this being discussed on the radio on my way to work, and I decided that life was too short to give up meat, especially smoked sausage or bacon.

    • #10
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:40 pm
  11. Profile photo of BrentB67 Inactive

    If we are to cut back on bacon should we export what we have to Syria or Saudi Arabia?

    • #11
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:40 pm
  12. Profile photo of Z in MT Member

    My grandfather has eaten bacon almost everyday of his life. He had a heart attack and triple bypass surgery >20 years ago. They put him on statins and lipitor, and he never changed his bacon habit. He is now 88 years old.

    • #13
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:45 pm
  13. Profile photo of Tim H. Member

    Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details? I’ve so far just seen my vegan friend post this on Facebook. She was initially skeptical but later decided the evidence was good enough for her. I suspect my standards will be higher.

    • #14
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:46 pm
  14. Profile photo of wilber forge Member

    BrentB67:If we are to cut back on bacon should we export what we have to Syria or Saudi Arabia?

    Bacon delivery via Cruise missles ?

    • #15
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:49 pm
  15. Profile photo of DrewInWisconsin Member

    Nick Stuart:It ran on all the major net news tonight (saw it at the Y). All the reports were heavily edited, and relied heavily on B-roll. When I saw steaks on the grill I wondered “are they talking about that specific steak that’s on screen, or steaks generally as a class?”

    Oh, well done!

    (Ha! See what I did there? I didn’t even see it until I saw it.)

    • #16
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:49 pm
  16. Profile photo of The King Prawn Member

    Bacon is a gateway meat for vegetarians.

    • #17
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:51 pm
  17. Profile photo of John Walker Contributor

    Tuck: You are. They’re looking at what are known as epidemiological studies, which cannot demonstrate cause and effect.

    My age correlates 100% with the distance between the Earth and Moon. So blame me when there aren’t any more total solar eclipses!

    • #18
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:53 pm
  18. Profile photo of Tuck Inactive

    Cow Girl: We discussed the story in the New Testament about Jesus eating with people after He’d been resurrected, but to myself, I thought, “Hmmm…how can it be Heaven if there isn’t any bacon??”

    Well, we know Jews like Jesus weren’t big fans of bacon, but for reasons other than WHOs’.

    However we also know God’s thoughts on meat vs. veggies:

    “Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.”

    Working the soil was punishment.

    • #19
    • October 26, 2015 at 4:58 pm
  19. Profile photo of Barfly Member

    Puts me in mind of that canard about the frog in a pot of water. Heat it gradually and the frog supposedly sits there and dies. (False, unfortunately – it does make a good fable.)

    I’m thinking that if they want to take our bacon, they’ll need a good long period of slow heating. Like, start small with a tax on chorizo or something, then manufacture some shortages of Smithfield ham just before Thanksgiving.

    But if they’re audacious enough to come for the bacon first, before we’re dulled and desensitized, let ’em try. Man, those little totalitarians are gonna get smoked.

    • #20
    • October 26, 2015 at 5:00 pm
  20. Profile photo of CB Toder aka Mama Toad Member

    John Walker: My age correlates 100% with the distance between the Earth and Moon. So blame me when there aren’t any more total solar eclipses!

    John Walker, how could you?!

    • #21
    • October 26, 2015 at 5:00 pm
  21. Profile photo of Tuck Inactive

    Tim H.: Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details?…

    Dude, life’s too short to waste my time on WHO propaganda. Here’s a post I did from three years ago on my personal blog covering the same topic:

    The Latest “Red Meat Will Kill You” Scare

    Where I quote a professional statistician on one of these studies:

    “…But its magnitude [the error rate in measurement] is apparently greater than the reported effects of red meat on mortality, which are not only minute but may well be statistical artifacts.”

    Humans evolved to eat meat. It’s what makes us unique among the primates, and is what allows us to have a big brain. And yes, our meat-preferring ancestors became the longest-lived primates on that diet.

    Yes, you can infer a lot about vegans from that fact.

    • #22
    • October 26, 2015 at 5:04 pm
  22. Profile photo of BrentB67 Inactive

    Tuck:

    Tim H.: Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details?…

    Dude, life’s too short to waste my time on WHO propaganda. Here’s a post I did from three years ago on my personal blog covering the same topic:

    “”

    Where I quote a professional statistician on one of these studies:

    “…But its magnitude [the error rate in measurement] is apparently greater than the reported effects of red meat on mortality, which are not only minute but may well be statistical artifacts.”

    Humans evolved to eat meat. It’s what makes us unique among the primates, and is what allows us to have a big brain. And yes, our meat-preferring ancestors became the longest-lived primates on that diet.

    Yes, you can infer a lot about vegans from that fact.

    Eat meat = big brain.

    Do note eat meat = ?

    • #24
    • October 26, 2015 at 5:08 pm
  23. Profile photo of Jimmy Carter Member

    BrentB67:

    Eat meat = big brain.

    Do note eat meat = Big Sanctimony

    • #25
    • October 26, 2015 at 5:12 pm
  24. Profile photo of Queen L.L. Bean Thatcher

    And a couple weeks ago, the diet nags were saying, “Oops. Whole milk is better than skim.”

    • #26
    • October 26, 2015 at 6:16 pm
  25. Profile photo of DrewInWisconsin Member

    BrentB67:

    Tuck:

    Tim H.: Tuck, could you give us a run-down of the study with some more details?…

    Dude, life’s too short to waste my time on WHO propaganda. Here’s a post I did from three years ago on my personal blog covering the same topic:

    “”

    Where I quote a professional statistician on one of these studies:

    “…But its magnitude [the error rate in measurement] is apparently greater than the reported effects of red meat on mortality, which are not only minute but may well be statistical artifacts.”

    Humans evolved to eat meat. It’s what makes us unique among the primates, and is what allows us to have a big brain. And yes, our meat-preferring ancestors became the longest-lived primates on that diet.

    Yes, you can infer a lot about vegans from that fact.

    Eat meat = big brain.

    Do not eat meat = ?

    Become food for the Morlocks.

    • #27
    • October 26, 2015 at 6:25 pm
  26. Profile photo of MLH Member
    MLH

    Caroline:And a couple weeks ago, the diet nags were saying, “Oops. Whole milk is better than skim.”

    As long as it isn’t cured.

    • #28
    • October 26, 2015 at 6:35 pm
  27. Profile photo of Taras Bulbous Member

    *Something* has to kill us all. I’ll take the chance of colon cancer at 70 if it means I can spend my life enjoying every morsel of bacon instead of eating boring-ass farina or whatever the WHO would prefer we eat for breakfast.

    I am enjoying the sanctimonious vegans posting this article on facebook. They are almost all smokers.

    • #29
    • October 26, 2015 at 6:40 pm
  28. Profile photo of Quinn the Eskimo Member

    All known cases of life have ultimately ended in death. Bacon-related is not so bad a way to go.

    • #30
    • October 26, 2015 at 6:48 pm
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