A Message from Earth

Having just fed my dog, it occurred to me that if an extraterrestrial had been monitoring my activities today, this is the report he (it?) might have filed:

I began my day here on the third planet observing a quadruped being escorted to a crude motorized vehicle by a subservient biped which transported its passenger to an area filled with leafy vegetation. The two-legged creature was led by a strap along a path, apparently for the purpose of collecting and disposing its master’s waste material. Afterwards, the two returned to their abode, at which time the quadruped was fed and watered and then stroked until it slept. During the extended rest, the other attended to manual labor. If we have any hope of colonizing this planet, we must find a way to communicate with its four-legged leaders. More later.