Quote of the Day: For Better or for Worse

 

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. —George Bernard Shaw

On so many levels, this quotation calls out for recognition—and a guffaw– if you’ve been married more than one week. When we first marry, we are basking in the glow of love, dreams, possibilities, and the future. And then reality hits, and we realize that marriage isn’t as glamorous as we expected.

It’s better.

For those of us who have been married for a while, it’s easy to talk about the trials of marriage, the ups and downs: periods of financial stress, personal losses, uncertainty, and unexpected changes. We tend to focus on those challenges we overcame, because we know of many people who don’t find their way through them, and finally give up the demands of those times.

But I think it’s also worthwhile to reflect on the joys, silly and humorous times in our marriages, because those are the periods when we are strengthened to get through the anxious and uncertain times. So, I’ve decided to share some of those times with all of you, and I’d love to hear your stories, too.

  • There was the time when my husband forgot to put the cover on the popcorn popper after starting it up. We’d both left the kitchen, and I was the first to wonder about the strange sounds emanating from the room. He was horrified, as popped corn was flying all over the kitchen! But when we both realized what had happened, we broke into the giggles—and salvaged what we could, since that was the last of the popcorn in the jar.
  • I remember the time we were horsing around and my husband had his arms around me from behind—at the top of a split-level stairway. As I pushed back, he lowered himself to the ground, and we slid backward down the stairs. No one was hurt—I was upset at first, but he definitely took the brunt of the fall!
  • We were preparing for a Denver Broncos football game on TV, and made the mistake of setting down a plate of salami, cheese, and crackers on the ottoman—with our little cockapoo nearby; it was too delicious for her to resist. When we shouted at her sampling the plate, she gobbled down as much as she could before we could reach her. I’ve never seen a dog eat so fast!
  • My husband woke up coughing during the night, and tried to quiet himself by sitting on the ledge that goes around the bed—and promptly fell asleep. Unfortunately, he had a sliding glass door frame a couple of feet away, and as he dozed, he fell forward and hit his head on the railing of the door. Do you know how much a person bleeds when his forehead is pierced? I jumped out of bed, wondering what had happened, and my hubby calmly told me that he’d hit his head and there was going to be a lot of blood, so I shouldn’t panic. I grabbed a towel, which he put to his forehead, and he promptly walked to the bathroom sink nearby and proceeded to rinse his forehead, over and over again. (He was still half asleep.) It was so bizarre that it was funny! I finally persuaded him to stop rinsing and to apply pressure to the cut and I put a pressure bandage on it. No more dozing on the edge of the bed for him!!

There are many more stories to remember, particularly on this particular day.

We were married July 7, 1974, and we both know how blessed we are.

I’ll end with this quotation by William O. Douglas—

Marriage is a coming together for better or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the degree of being sacred.

Now it’s your turn!

Published in Marriage
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  1. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    I’m glad I got to read all of these stories. I had a relapse of my IAMESD*, which is getting worse as I get older.  (*Intermittent Affective Male Eye Sting Disorder)

    But guys can only take so much emotional stuff at a time.

    I am working on an article about baseball, boron compounds, and inverted yield curves.  I will try to get it out to you ASAP.

    • #31
  2. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    What a beautiful post and comments! Thank you all.

    • #32
  3. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    One year Mr. Charlotte and I decided to roast a goose for Christmas dinner. We were hosting my family, for a total of seven guests. Mr. Charlotte had read somewhere that the most important part of roasting a goose is “crisping the skin” which you do by basting at strategic intervals. 

    My mom and I were in charge of all aspects of goose-roasting other than skin-crisping. It was time to flip the bird over about halfway through the roasting process. Unfortunately, the giant fork we were using punctured the foil roasting pan, causing the goose fat to start leaking into the oven.

    Mr. Charlotte heard the oven open and assumed he was up. He walked in to see my mom and me frantically wrestling with the burning, dripping, scalding-hot goose, smoke billowing out of the oven, and cheerfully said, “Hey! Is it time to crisp the skin?” We all collapsed into giggles, and to this day “time to crisp the skin” is shorthand for “holy [CoC], I’m dealing with a catastrophe so get your  priorities straight!”

    • #33
  4. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    One year Mr. Charlotte and I decided to roast a goose for Christmas dinner. We were hosting my family, for a total of seven guests. Mr. Charlotte had read somewhere that the most important part of roasting a goose is “crisping the skin” which you do by basting at strategic intervals.

    My mom and I were in charge of all aspects of goose-roasting other than skin-crisping. It was time to flip the bird over about halfway through the roasting process. Unfortunately, the giant fork we were using punctured the foil roasting pan, causing the goose fat to start leaking into the oven.

    Mr. Charlotte heard the oven open and assumed he was up. He walked in to see my mom and me frantically wrestling with the burning, dripping, scalding-hot goose, smoke billowing out of the oven, and cheerfully said, “Hey! Is it time to crisp the skin?” We all collapsed into giggles, and to this day “time to crisp the skin” is shorthand for “holy [CoC], I’m dealing with a catastrophe so get your priorities straight!”

    Yikes! That must have been quite a scene! Isn’t if funny how those scenes turn into clever comments for later disasters. Thanks, @charlotte!

    • #34
  5. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Susan Quinn:

    • There was the time when my husband forgot to put the cover on the popcorn popper after starting it up. We’d both left the kitchen, and I was the first to wonder about the strange sounds emanating from the room. He was horrified, as popped corn was flying all over the kitchen! But when we both realized what had happened, we broke into the giggles—and salvaged what we could, since that was the last of the popcorn in the jar.
    •  

    Married August 15, 1981, so coming up on 40 years.

    Our one and only DIY plumbing project was to replace part of the plumbing to and from the dishwasher in our first house. There was a hose to a vent-appearing device behind the kitchen sink. We didn’t bother tightening that vent-appearing device down for our first test of the replaced plumbing (“it’s only an air vent, so it doesn’t need to be tight.”). Turns out it was part of the water drain system, so as we started the test of our replaced plumbing, the “vent” popped off and we had a geyser in the kitchen. For us, hiring professionals is cheaper than trying to do it ourselves. 

    We both like oatmeal thicker than the box directions (quick oats in the cylindrical box). But we discovered we get there by different methods. I put into the saucepan the amount of water stated in the directions, but more oatmeal than the directions call for. Mrs. Tabby puts in less than the directions amount of water, and uses the amount of oatmeal specified in the directions. A few weeks into marriage we made our first batch of oatmeal together. She put in the water (less than the directions). I put in the oatmeal (more than the directions). Within a very short time we had a goo thicker than wallpaper paste, and impossible to stir or even to serve. Ever since, only one person at a time cooks each dish. 

    • #35
  6. Doctor Robert Member
    Doctor Robert
    @DoctorRobert

    47 years of marriage.  Congrats.  Maazel-tov.  I’m jealous.

    Marriage is the natural stage, the best state, for adult men and women.  I had 25 great years with my late first wife and six years to date with Mrs Doc Robert.  We’re working on reaching 40 years (which would require that we both reach 100…)

    May God continue to bless you and all the other lovely couples posting.

     

    • #36
  7. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):
    A few weeks into marriage we made our first batch of oatmeal together. She put in the water (less than the directions). I put in the oatmeal (more than the directions). Within a very short time we had a goo thicker than wallpaper paste, and impossible to stir or even to serve. Ever since, only one person at a time cooks each dish. 

    Good one! Maybe that’s why my husband makes me stay out of the kitchen nowadays when he makes dinner! And that works for me! (Your story got me giggling–thanks!)

    • #37
  8. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Doctor Robert (View Comment):

    47 years of marriage. Congrats. Maazel-tov. I’m jealous.

    Marriage is the natural stage, the best state, for adult men and women. I had 25 great years with my late first wife and six years to date with Mrs Doc Robert. We’re working on reaching 40 years (which would require that we both reach 100…)

    May God continue to bless you and all the other lovely couples posting.

     

    Thanks, @doctorrobert. I can’t imagine not being married; we have both grown so much. Many good wishes for reaching 100 years old together!

    • #38
  9. Sam Thatcher
    Sam
    @Sam

    Congratulations! And also, windows open always. My husband and I reached another anniversary recently which we will celebrate in Philly this weekend. I sleep with the windows open and he keeps the windows closed, but unlike the song there was no Goodbye. We sleep in different rooms. Problem solved. All the best to you!

    • #39
  10. Full Size Tabby Member
    Full Size Tabby
    @FullSizeTabby

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    colleenb (View Comment):

    Happy Anniversary Susan – and Jerry of course. My husband and I are 10 years and some months behind you two. I love Jerry’s ruffled shirt, wide lapels, and big tie. Lots of disco songs at the wedding? Many happy returns.

    Let’s just say I wasn’t involved with his wardrobe selection, but he loved it, so it was fine with me. Thanks for the good wishes, @ colleenb. And congrats on your many years of marriage bliss!

    Hey, ruffled shirt with big bow tie and wide lapels was the style of the day, and was my prom outfit and our outfit for one of my high school instrumental musical groups (graduated high school in 1974). 

    • #40
  11. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):
    (graduated high school in 1974). 

    Ah, you’re just a kid! Yes, I honestly don’t remember my reaction to Jerry’s outfit. The girls were in yellow, and I only cared that he not pick some weird color! 

    • #41
  12. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    For $10 I’ll photoshop a less ugly tux on the groom.

    • #42
  13. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    EJHill (View Comment):

    For $10 I’ll photoshop a less ugly tux on the groom.

    Ah, c’mon, EJ, that tux was the height of fashion!

    • #43
  14. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    Susan Quinn: Ah, c’mon, EJ, that tux was the height of fashion!

    I lived through the 70’s. They had no height of fashion. 

    • #44
  15. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    EJHill (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: Ah, c’mon, EJ, that tux was the height of fashion!

    I lived through the 70’s. They had no height of fashion.

    That gets a COL (Chortling Out Loud).  Lots of great posts here, but this line, and the “time to crisp the skin” story made me Chortle the loudest.

    • #45
  16. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    EJHill (View Comment):

    Susan Quinn: Ah, c’mon, EJ, that tux was the height of fashion!

    I lived through the 70’s. They had no height of fashion.

    If you had only seen our jazz band get-up … leisure suits of robin’s egg blue, floral shirts, white oxfords … we looked like a Century-21 Real Estate agent convention.

    • #46
  17. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Percival (View Comment):
    If you had only seen our jazz band get-up … leisure suits of robin’s egg blue, floral shirts, white oxfords … we looked like a Century-21 Real Estate agent convention.

    . . . and everyone thought you were so cool!!

    • #47
  18. WillowSpring Member
    WillowSpring
    @WillowSpring

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):
    I’m sure it’s a conspiracy against men, @willowspring!

    Seems like they should pick a more difficult target!

    • #48
  19. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):
    If you had only seen our jazz band get-up … leisure suits of robin’s egg blue, floral shirts, white oxfords … we looked like a Century-21 Real Estate agent convention.

    . . . and everyone thought you were so cool!!

    • #49
  20. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    There are no doubt many dumb things I have done in the course of our now going on 38 years in a do-over for each of us. (So the first try was apparently a not totally worthless learning experience.) But my lack of memory and my propensity not to confess keeps me from relating them. And Mrs Rodin’s track record is pristine — so there’s that.

    Happy Anniversary!

    • #50
  21. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Rodin (View Comment):
    And Mrs Rodin’s track record is pristine — so there’s that.

    And a wise man you are to acknowledge that, too!

    • #51
  22. She Member
    She
    @She

    Happy Anniversary, Susan and Jerry!  Two of the nicest people I know.

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):
    Have you ever noticed that Dawn dish soap is the same color as the Jet Dry rinse liquid that goes into a receptacle in the door of the dishwasher? Well Mr AZ tends to be a little absentminded at times and he is in charge of all things dishwasher. So one morning after he had started it going I happened into the kitchen and noticed suds pouring out of the dishwasher onto the floor. Well, you guessed it – he put Dawn into the rinse area instead of Jet Dry.

    Many years ago, Mr. She decided that he was going to take charge of all things dishwasher (“Great!” says I, “Thank you very much.”) 

    He was very diligent.  And thorough.

    But I couldn’t help noticing that the dishes weren’t always super-clean, and that they were, in fact, sometimes a bit sticky.  Still, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, as the saying goes . . . 

    Then, one day I observed him putting the powder in the dishwasher, and discovered he was washing the dishes with Country Time Lemonade Mix.

    Naturally, it was my fault.  “You said the powder was in a cylindrical container on the kitchen counter!”

    ***

    This is the Quote of the Day. July’s sign-up sheet is here,  and there are still plenty of dates available.  Please sign up today!

    If you’re new at this game, it’s a easy way to get your feet wet and start a conversation; if you’re an old-timer, you already know the ropes.  Either way, please sign up to speak up.

    Another ongoing project to encourage new voices is our Group Writing Project. July’s theme is “We Hold These Truths (or Fictions).”  If you’d like to weigh in, please sign up for Group Writing too!

     

    • #52
  23. RushBabe49 Thatcher
    RushBabe49
    @RushBabe49

    Ray and I will celebrate 18 years in October.  Second marriage for both of us.  I robbed the cradle (I’m 9 years older); I call him my “trophy husband”.  I knew he was a keeper very early in our relationship.  He was recovering from a bad cold, and I asked if I could visit him (at his apartment).  When I got there, he was still vacuuming.  I really appreciated (and still do) that he knew his way around a vacuum cleaner, and an ironing-board.

    The funniest thing that has happened to us was at our wedding.  We had a very small wedding, just a few family and friends.  Music was provided by a friend of mine who played the harp.  Her name is Cynthia.  When the officiator went to ask if we wanted to be married, he asked Ray if he wanted to marry Cynthia.  Ray piped up and said, “No, I want to marry Carol”, and the place erupted in laughter.  Brendan was very embarrassed, needless to say.

    • #53
  24. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    RushBabe49 (View Comment):

    Ray and I will celebrate 18 years in October. Second marriage for both of us. I robbed the cradle (I’m 9 years older); I call him my “trophy husband”. I knew he was a keeper very early in our relationship. He was recovering from a bad cold, and I asked if I could visit him (at his apartment). When I got there, he was still vacuuming. I really appreciated (and still do) that he knew his way around a vacuum cleaner, and an ironing-board.

    The funniest thing that has happened to us was at our wedding. We had a very small wedding, just a few family and friends. Music was provided by a friend of mine who played the harp. Her name is Cynthia. When the officiator went to ask if we wanted to be married, he asked Ray if he wanted to marry Cynthia. Ray piped up and said, “No, I want to marry Carol”, and the place erupted in laughter. Brendan was very embarrassed, needless to say.

    Too funny! But a harp! How lovely. Congrats, Rushbabe, on 18. You also got a good guy!

    • #54
  25. Some Call Me ...Tim Coolidge
    Some Call Me ...Tim
    @SomeCallMeTim

    She (View Comment):

    Happy Anniversary, Susan and Jerry! Two of the nicest people I know.

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):
    Have you ever noticed that Dawn dish soap is the same color as the Jet Dry rinse liquid that goes into a receptacle in the door of the dishwasher? Well Mr AZ tends to be a little absentminded at times and he is in charge of all things dishwasher. So one morning after he had started it going I happened into the kitchen and noticed suds pouring out of the dishwasher onto the floor. Well, you guessed it – he put Dawn into the rinse area instead of Jet Dry.

    Many years ago, Mr. She decided that he was going to take charge of all things dishwasher (“Great!” says I, “Thank you very much.”)

    He was very diligent. And thorough.

    But I couldn’t help noticing that the dishes weren’t always super-clean, and that they were, in fact, sometimes a bit sticky. Still, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, as the saying goes . . .

    Then, one day I observed him putting the powder in the dishwasher, and discovered he was washing the dishes with Country Time Lemonade Mix.

    Naturally, it was my fault. “You said the powder was in a cylindrical container on the kitchen counter!”

    ***

    This is the Quote of the Day. July’s sign-up sheet is here, and there are still plenty of dates available. Please sign up today!

    If you’re new at this game, it’s a easy way to get your feet wet and start a conversation; if you’re an old-timer, you already know the ropes. Either way, please sign up to speak up.

    Another ongoing project to encourage new voices is our Group Writing Project. July’s theme is “We Hold These Truths (or Fictions).” If you’d like to weigh in, please sign up for Group Writing too!

     

    You are one of my favorite people on Ricochet, so it pains me to say this – it is indeed your fault.  You gave incomplete instructions to your husband, who, as the male of the species, is very literal.  At least your dishes were lemony fresh.

    • #55
  26. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    Some Call Me …Tim (View Comment):
    You are one of my favorite people on Ricochet, so it pains me to say this – it is indeed your fault.  You gave incomplete instructions to your husband, who, as the male of the species, is very literal.  At least your dishes were lemony fresh.

    I just love these reminders that intelligence is always a spectrum: the better a person is at specific kinds of “smart,” the worse they are at other, more general mental skills.

    • #56
  27. She Member
    She
    @She

    Some Call Me …Tim (View Comment):
    You are one of my favorite people on Ricochet, so it pains me to say this – it is indeed your fault.  You gave incomplete instructions to your husband, who, as the male of the species, is very literal.  At least your dishes were lemony fresh.

    LOL, Tim.  And thanks.

    iWe (View Comment):
    I just love these reminders that intelligence is always a spectrum: the better a person is at specific kinds of “smart,” the worse they are at other, more general mental skills.

    I view it as  confirmation of She’s Rule #1:  “Women Look for the Thing, Men look in the Place.”  For women, it’s the “thing” that’s most important–in this case, the thing that clearly says, on the label of the cylindrical container, “Dishwasher Detergent.”  A woman would have kept on looking at whatever was on the kitchen counter until she saw that.  But for Mr. She, the matter was simple:  “cylindrical container on kitchen counter.”  It’s a matter of “one and done!”

    I cannot tell you how often, during the course of our almost 40-year marriage, that this theory was borne out.

    • #57
  28. colleenb Member
    colleenb
    @colleenb

    She (View Comment):

    Some Call Me …Tim (View Comment):
    You are one of my favorite people on Ricochet, so it pains me to say this – it is indeed your fault. You gave incomplete instructions to your husband, who, as the male of the species, is very literal. At least your dishes were lemony fresh.

    LOL, Tim. And thanks.

    iWe (View Comment):
    I just love these reminders that intelligence is always a spectrum: the better a person is at specific kinds of “smart,” the worse they are at other, more general mental skills.

    I view it as confirmation of She’s Rule #1: “Women Look for the Thing, Men look in the Place.” For women, it’s the “thing” that’s most important–in this case, the thing that clearly says, on the label of the cylindrical container, “Dishwasher Detergent.” A woman would have kept on looking at whatever was on the kitchen counter until she saw that. But for Mr. She, the matter was simple: “cylindrical container on kitchen counter.” It’s a matter of “one and done!”

    I cannot tell you how often, during the course of our almost 40-year marriage, that this theory was borne out.

    I’m surprised he could find anything at all. Heh. The joke in our marriage is that my husband can’t find anything smaller than a mastodon. 

    • #58
  29. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    I don’t see mess, and I don’t see dirt. I do not see them, therefore they are not there.

    Mrs. iWe somehow, despite having poorer classic vision, has highly tuned mess-vision.

    • #59
  30. She Member
    She
    @She

    iWe (View Comment):

    I don’t see mess, and I don’t see dirt. I do not see them, therefore they are not there.

    Mrs. iWe somehow, despite having poorer classic vision, has highly tuned mess-vision.

    Mrs. iWe (whom I’ve met) is a total lovebug.  You’re a lucky man.

    • #60
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