Ahmadinajad Takes Brave Stand Against Paul the Octopus


Yes, yes, I know the natural tendency upon hearing that the high-spirited president of Iran has denounced Paul the Octopus as an agent of Western propaganda is to mock. And to bring up that unfortunate business with the spy squirrels. Well, not me, folks. No mockery here. I, for one, congratulate him. It’s high time someone took a stand against that octopus.

I knew from the moment I saw that slimy thing what he was after. Mark my words, those tentacles will spread from the Red Sea to the Euphrates unless he’s stopped. Mollusks are exceedingly cunning, and their avarice is exceeded only by their ruthlessness.

Of course it’s no accident that Paul predicted the victors in the World Cup. He was tipped off. And you know by whom.

It is deplorable that the world’s so-called “leaders” have thus far been too cowardly to confront the powerful cephalopod lobby. Thank you, President Ahmadinajad, for your bravery.

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  1. Profile Photo Member

    One day the 13th Imam will rise up from that dried well and rain hellfire upon all those who beieve in such crazy superstitions.

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  2. Profile Photo Member

    Yes, but it’s misspelling “believe” for some reason.

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  3. Profile Photo Member

    Raises an interesting question for you and perhaps Judith about irony in the Middle East. Is there such a thing? Paul the Octopus as a global joke and the Iranian leader supremely not getting the joke. Do any in the Muslim world get that joke? I know there is a great deal of humor there — and I know there are many fine distinctions between Arab, Turk, Israeli, Persian. But Ahmadinajad strikes us as so one-dimensional — is that what the Iranian population demands/expects? If Turks could see YouTube Claire, then they might be able to see the funny SNL/Andy Samberg video in which he serenades his lover Ahmadinajad (Fred Armiston.) Would many folks in Turkey be able to see past the insult to appreciate just why that strikes us as so very funny?

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  4. Profile Photo Editor

    Interesting question, Trace. Generally speaking, this region is behind the irony curtain. There are some notable exceptions. I do know a few Turks with a dark, fine sense of irony. But they’re quite Westernized, and generally–nope. I mean, don’t forget: YouTube is banned here because no one saw anything funny about videos depicting a technicolor Ataturk weeping to the sound of the Village People. No, I’m not kidding.

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  5. Profile Photo Inactive

    With You Tube banned and now Paul the Octopus on his way out, I guess the psychic network would be totally out of the question.

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  6. Profile Photo Inactive

    Maybe he can team up with Pat Robertson and do something about the Teletubbies.

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  7. Profile Photo Inactive

    Teletubbies? What about Pop ‘n’ Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy? There’s gotta be something softly decadent and vaguely sexual about that name. And what about Bert and Ernie, who have been living together for as long as Sesame Street has been on TV? Hell! Bert and Ernie have been together longer than most of my married friends.

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  8. Profile Photo Inactive

    Iä! Iä! Ph‘nglui mglw’nafh Paul Oberhausen wgah’nagl fhtagn!

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  9. Profile Photo Member

    Speaking of cephalopod cunning, my old marine biology professor had an interesting story.

    Along one side of the classroom, four or five fish tanks sat on a long counter. My professor used to keep shrimp in one and a small octopus in another. The shrimp kept disappearing. He suspected the octopus, but he always found it in its own tank with the lid closed.

    So he and some students decided to perform a stakeout one afternoon. They turned out the lights and waited. Sure enough, the octopus lifted the lid of its tank and crawled out. It oozed across the counter to the shrimp tank, lifted the lid, and gorged. It then crawled back to its own tank. Since the lid was only lifted partly up, it fell and closed behind the octopus.

    One of my sisters studied marine science at A&M Galveston. Their lab was performing studies on cuttlefish, which have the most advanced camouflage system in the animal kingdom and large brains relatively to their size. A&M theorized that cuttlefish communicate through camouflage. They recorded cuttlefish flashing colors, then played the recording back to the cuttlefish, and the animals indeed responded in consistent fashion.

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