Quote of the Day: The Empty People

 

“From the moment I joined @LokiOfficial it was very important to me, and my goal, to acknowledge Loki was bisexual. It is a part of who he is and who I am too. I know this is a small step but I’m happy, and heart is so full, to say that this is now Canon in MCU.”
Kate Herron, Twitter

“Belief in yourself is more important than endless worries of what others think of you. Value yourself and others will value you. Validation is best that comes from within.”
Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o, Dreams in a Time of War

“A lot of people say this honor validates my career, but I didn’t work hard for validation.”
― Ryne Sandberg

Strong people validate themselves. When I was looking for quotes on validation, all of the successful people talk about not needing validation or being their own validation. It’s a question of self-confidence. Do you believe you can do it, and can you actually do it? While most people could use some appreciation now and then, and getting a compliment on work from someone I respect feels damn good (I remember getting praised by our chem safety expert on handling chemical incident – he was not easy to please), and people need to be able to work with reward of a paycheck.

Validation when it comes to identity is a bizarre area. I have never really needed validation for any aspect of my identity since I stopped being a teenager, and I suspect most people are similar. Who needs to have someone else tell them they are who they are? Why would you doubt yourself?

This brings me to the first quote. Ms. Herron was driven to join a company in order to make a popular fictional character share her sexuality. She comes off with all the emotional security of a child, where if you put a disabled kid working with superheroes, the kid in a wheelchair feels better about himself. Now, I’m not a psychologist, but turning to a movie character to fill up your heart can’t be healthy. It seems like we increasingly have people who demand that every franchise and work of art show them as being great, stunning, and brave, like a house covered in motivational post-it notes.

Could it be that they are trying to squash out that still small voice saying that they are wrong?

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  1. Zafar Member
    Zafar
    @Zafar

    OmegaPaladin: Validation when it comes to identity is a bizarre area.

    The fish doesn’t know that water is wet. 

    • #1
  2. She Member
    She
    @She

    OmegaPaladin: Now, I’m not a psychologist, but turning to a movie character to fill up your heart can’t be healthy.   It seems like we increasingly have people who demand that every franchise and work of art show them as being great, stunning, and brave, like a house covered in motivation post it notes.

    OTOH, I’m a great believer in fairy stories (no pun intended) and imaginative tales as models for exemplary, and not-so-exemplary behavior.  Be Snow White!  Don’t be the Wicked Witch!  Perhaps the difference comes from reading or seeing something and saying “I could exhibit those qualities of honor and kindness and lead a good life,” or “Yikes, treat people like that and I’ll end up ugly and alone and die a horrible death,” versus reading or seeing it and too-closely identifying with the main characters as if they actually are ourselves.

    ***

    This is the Quote of the Day. June’s sign-up sheet is here, and there’s just one day left.  Order now, and shipping is free!

    If you’re new at this game, it’s a easy way to get your feet wet and start a conversation; if you’re an old-timer, you already know the ropes.  Either way, please sign up to speak up.

    Another ongoing project to encourage new voices is our Group Writing Project. June’s theme is “Journeys.”  If you’d like to weigh in, please sign up for Group Writing too!

     

    • #2
  3. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    She (View Comment):

    OTOH, I’m a great believer in fairy stories (no pun intended) and imaginative tales as models for exemplary, and not-so-exemplary behavior. Be Snow White! Don’t be the Wicked Witch!

    That’s in Chesterton, ain’t it?

    • #3
  4. She Member
    She
    @She

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):

    OTOH, I’m a great believer in fairy stories (no pun intended) and imaginative tales as models for exemplary, and not-so-exemplary behavior. Be Snow White! Don’t be the Wicked Witch!

    That’s in Chesterton, ain’t it?

    I think so!

    • #4
  5. DrewInWisconsin, Oaf Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Oaf
    @DrewInWisconsin

    So brave! So stunning!

    So . . .  :: stretch :: :: yawn :: . . . boring.

    • #5
  6. Zafar Member
    Zafar
    @Zafar

    DrewInWisconsin, Oaf (View Comment):

    So brave! So stunning!

    So . . . :: stretch :: :: yawn :: . . . boring.

    I have to agree wrt Loki.  In the film just another iteration of the Evil Gay Villain. (Sort of.)  And Marvel is just intrinsically bland.

    They could have gone to town:

    …Loki, the trickster god, frequently disguised himself as a woman. In one myth, he turned himself into a mare and, after having sex with the stallion Svaðilfari, he gave birth to Sleipnir, an eight-legged foal.

    So edgy, so mpreg….but no.

    • #6
  7. EJHill Podcaster
    EJHill
    @EJHill

    While you’re here, could you validate my parking?

    • #7
  8. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Oh my gosh, a QotD from Ryne Sandberg! Now there’s a blast from my (’80s Cubs obsessive fangirl although I preferred Jody Davis) past.

    As for the actual post topic, what does it even mean for someone to validate you? People really need to get out of their own heads. I recently read a book of little “life advice” aphorisms and the best one was something like, keep in mind that no one is ever thinking about you. This is true, and important.

    • #8
  9. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Zafar (View Comment):
    In the film just another iteration of the Evil Gay Villain

    Was he? Really supposed to come across as gay? That honestly never occurred to me. 

    • #9
  10. Zafar Member
    Zafar
    @Zafar

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    Zafar (View Comment):
    In the film just another iteration of the Evil Gay Villain

    Was he? Really supposed to come across as gay? That honestly never occurred to me.

    We are sneaky like that.  But it’s a bit of a trope a la Dr Evil. (So maybe not gay but effeminate?  Also, I am totally into the Gay Super Villain thing –  so that’s where I’m coming from on this.)

    • #10
  11. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    Zafar (View Comment):
    Also, I am totally into the Gay Super Villain thing –  so that’s where I’m coming from on this.

    Sounds like it ought to be a post… ;-)

    • #11
  12. Freeven Inactive
    Freeven
    @Freeven

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    Oh my gosh, a QotD from Ryne Sandberg! Now there’s a blast from my (’80s Cubs obsessive fangirl although I preferred Jody Davis) past.

    As for the actual post topic, what does it even mean for someone to validate you? People really need to get out of their own heads. I recently read a book of little “life advice” aphorisms and the best one was something like, keep in mind that no one is ever thinking about you. This is true, and important.

    I heard it put something like this:

    At the age of 20, you worry what people think of you.

    By the age of 30, you stop carrying what people think of you.

    By the age of 40, you realize that people aren’t thinking about you at all, and never were.

     

    • #12
  13. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Zafar (View Comment):

    DrewInWisconsin, Oaf (View Comment):

    So brave! So stunning!

    So . . . :: stretch :: :: yawn :: . . . boring.

    I have to agree wrt Loki. In the film just another iteration of the Evil Gay Villain. (Sort of.) And Marvel is just intrinsically bland.

    They could have gone to town:

    …Loki, the trickster god, frequently disguised himself as a woman. In one myth, he turned himself into a mare and, after having sex with the stallion Svaðilfari, he gave birth to Sleipnir, an eight-legged foal.

    So edgy, so mpreg….but no.

    Actual mythology is weirder than anything in Marvel.

    • #13
  14. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Gays are the best villains. This comedian explains why (NSFW.)

     

    Seriously, imagine Scar as straight while singing this song.

     

    Or the King of Britain being straight while singing this song. Cats and dogs would start living together if a straight dude sang it.

    • #14
  15. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte
    @Charlotte

    I dunno…I just always assumed it was the “they’re not gay they’re British” thing. But I guess they can be both 

    • #15
  16. DrewInWisconsin, Oaf Member
    DrewInWisconsin, Oaf
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Charlotte (View Comment):
    I recently read a book of little “life advice” aphorisms and the best one was something like, keep in mind that no one is ever thinking about you.

    Perhaps we read the same book. One that stuck out to me was “Nobody’s thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you are.”

     

    • #16
  17. Bishop Wash Member
    Bishop Wash
    @BishopWash

    Regarding the first quote, my daughter was watching Raya and the Last Dragon this week. When I looked it up on IMDb I found this gem in the trivia section.

    While recording her dialogue, Kelly Marie Tran personally interpreted Raya and Namaari’s relationship as romantic. By Tran’s own admission, however, this was not made official by Disney.

    Because everyone has to be a homosexual. Thankfully it wasn’t portrayed that way in the movie.

    Last year a girl down the street, who goes to a government indoctrination center, told my daughter that she wants to marry a girl when she grows up. My daughter, who understands biology better, told her that she can’t do that. Where would she get babies?

    • #17
  18. Vince Guerra Member
    Vince Guerra
    @VinceGuerra

    OmegaPaladin: to acknowledge Loki was bisexual.

    Wait, what? 

    • #18
  19. OmegaPaladin Moderator
    OmegaPaladin
    @OmegaPaladin

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    I dunno…I just always assumed it was the “they’re not gay they’re British” thing. But I guess they can be both

    Yeah, never saw Scar as gay.  I thought he actually wanted the lioness to marry him?

    I can think of plenty of villains who were iconic and dangerous but never acted gay.

    • #19
  20. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    OmegaPaladin (View Comment):

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    I dunno…I just always assumed it was the “they’re not gay they’re British” thing. But I guess they can be both

    Yeah, never saw Scar as gay. I thought he actually wanted the lioness to marry him?

    I can think of plenty of villains who were iconic and dangerous but never acted gay.

    Didn’t Scar have his own evil harem in a sequel?

    • #20
  21. CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Not So Easy To Kill
    @CarolJoy

    It is good when we have lived long enough to learn important life lessons and realize we are stronger for them:

    • #21
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