When a Grown Man Cries (Memorial Day Edition)

 

I’ve seen lots of men cry – cry over their wives with Alzheimer’s, cry over the “out-of-order” death of an adult child, and cry over their own cancer when it will take them from their families.  I find it moving, human, and to be honest, a little frightening when a strong man breaks down.

I have seen lots of men break down and sob, blubber and snot over buddies and friends lost in war.  You see, several years ago I participated in the Veterans’ History Project (VHP) spearheaded by the Library of Congress. https://www.loc.gov/vets/  The idea was to gather veterans’ stories to preserve and catalog them for future generations and research. As an elder law attorney, I work with mostly seniors, many of whom are veterans and I would hear their stories in my office – amazing stories of near misses, funny anecdotes, and tales of true love that waited back home. (They won’t tell you their stories of heroism because “they were just doing their job” and “the real heroes are the ones who didn’t come back”)

Early in my career, I had the incredible privilege to get to know several WW2 veterans.  As part of the VHP, I arranged to interview some of my WW2 vets.  Most of the time, their stories all started out the same….a hardscrabble childhood, eeking out sustenance on the family farm, during the Depression, and very, very, very poor.  One WW2 Navy vet told me how his older brother joined the Navy in 1937 and left the family farm located near some nameless crossroads of a now-defunct village in East Texas and how he was the hero to his numerous younger siblings.  My vet talked about how his brother got sent to China/Pacific in 1938 (apparently the U.S. was providing some “advisors” and support to China due to the Japanese invasion) and his brother would send home letters of amazing sights and stories which were inconceivable to the destitute red-clay farm family back home. As my vet talked about his older brother, you could see the pure joy in his remembrances and hear the hero-worship in his voice.  His brother got assigned to the USS Arizona in 1940 based in Hawaii.  Taking leave for Christmas 1940, big brother returned home to East Texas and the whole community turned out to see him during his visit.  For Christmas that year, my vet, who was around 16 years old, got a ticket to the Rose Bowl from his big brother and the two took a train trip across the country to go to the game in California.  Up until this time in his life, my vet had never been more than 20 miles from the farm.  This was an adventure of a lifetime!  My vet talked about the shenanigans he and his brother got into on the trip and how they got the chance to talk about life as two young men coming into their own.  The two went to the game, then brother went on back to his duty station in Hawaii, and my vet started dreaming of his own future naval career, following in his big brother’s footsteps, on the train ride back home to the farm.

We then talked about how the news of Pearl Harbor came to the farm in December 1941.  My vet’s family was so poor, they did not own a radio.  Neighbors came over to share the news.  My vet remembered that he and his younger brothers were playing a game of football in the field when the neighbor pulled up to tell them that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.  At this point in the interview, my vet just stopped talking, and by the faraway look in his eye, I could tell he was reliving that moment.  I gently asked him if his brother had been on the USS Arizona at the time.  The veteran turned his head toward me, focused for a second, and with tears streaming in rivers down his face, quietly uttered – “My brother is STILL on the USS Arizona”.    His shoulders slumped, he gave into the memory and wept.

So today, I share this in memorium to both men – one who remains on the USS Arizona to this day and his little brother, who served his country honorably in WW2, survived, raised a family, and died 70+ years later – never forgetting.

-DP

Published in Military
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There are 7 comments.

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  1. Jim McConnell Member
    Jim McConnell
    @JimMcConnell

    Thank you for that poignant reminder of the sacrifices others made to keep liberty alive.

    • #1
  2. Doug Watt Member
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    Wonderful post, thank you.

    • #2
  3. Guruforhire Inactive
    Guruforhire
    @Guruforhire

    The youtube channel Drachinifel has a 3 part series on the salvage of pearl harbor.

    Grisly business.

    • #3
  4. Jim George Member
    Jim George
    @JimGeorge

    Anyone who can read that brother’s story about his brother still being on the Arizona without choking up needs to get help-ASAP. Thank you for this post- I’ve been reading Memorial Day stories all day and this was clearly one of the most moving. 
    Also, regards from a fellow Southerner, lawyer and, last but not least, Saints fan!

    Sincerely, Jim

    • #4
  5. Susan in Seattle Member
    Susan in Seattle
    @SusaninSeattle

    Thank you for this.

    Edited to add that some years ago, I was speaking with an ‘older’ gentleman at a social event.  The conversation went down the winding path to WWII as my father had been in the 104th Infantry Division (aka, Timberwolves) in Europe and I have an enduring curiosity about this era.  Turns out this very kind man had been in the South Pacific at about the same time as my father was in Europe.  As our conversation progressed, he became teary-eyed as he related his experiences.  It occurred to me at the time that this was a sacred moment; I am grateful he could disclose with me what he did.  It is a treasure I hold to this day.

    • #5
  6. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Dominique Prynne: The veteran turned his head toward me, focused for a second, and with tears streaming in rivers down his face, quietly uttered – “My brother is STILL on the USS Arizona”.    His shoulders slumped, he gave into the memory and wept.

    Goosebumps and tears . . .

    • #6
  7. Dominique Prynne Member
    Dominique Prynne
    @DominiquePrynne

    Susan in Seattle (View Comment):
    As our conversation progressed, he became teary-eyed as he related his experiences.  It occurred to me at the time that this was a sacred moment;

    Yes!  Absolutely!  I have had so many clients tell me stories that, later, after the death of the client, I would relate the story to the family, they would often say…”Dad never told us that story.”  

     

    • #7
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