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Quote of the Day, April 28, Tardiness
All my life, he said, I been witness to people showin up where they was supposed to be at various times after they’d said they’d be there. I never heard one yet that didnt have a reason for it.
Yessir.
But there aint but one reason.
Yessir.
You know what it is?
No sir.
It’s that their word’s no good. That’s the only reason there ever was or ever will be.
―
Published in Group Writing
This one hits way too close to home.
A man can steal everything from you but your honor and your word, which in the end, are the only things of worth.
I don’t subscribe to this one. I can name at least one of my family members who is good for all her commitments except this and it has two causes, scheduling too many things and poor estimating of time required.
A Like isn’t enough in this case. Needs this Like Comment.
Stuff happens, sometimes.
I’m over early for everything. When you schedule, time and calendar dates are not a surprise.
My motto: early is on time, on time is late, and late is inexcusable.
I bet I’ve spent half My Life waiting because I’m always early.
Plus, being late is rude and inconsiderate.
Well, that’s a bit harsh (what, Cormac McCarthy harsh??), but the point isn’t really off. Being late means a lot of things, none of them good.
I live by ‘a deal’s a deal’. If you’re unhappy, we can always change the deal for next time. But right now let’s settle up on what we agreed on.
Making an appointment with someone is much the same. We had a “deal”, and if you’re a reliable responsible adult, you’ll arrange your schedule and affairs so that you keep your commitment. Me too. Otherwise we start thinking about what this lack of courtesy says about your integrity, or your control over your life.
Sometimes you let it pass. But it is never good.
I agree completely, Jimmy. A person who is habitually late is telling you that your time is not important. For example, I had a doctor appointment this morning, and sat in the waiting room for 55 minutes past the appointed time before seeing him. Extremely rude, with no explanation or apology.
Yep, twice when I had a consulting practice, I “fired” important clients because they were habitually late for meetings.
I’ve decided I’m not going to do it any more. I’ll give doctors and dentists 15 minutes, then I’m gone. I’ll find one who thinks my time is just as important to me as his is to him.
I remember a Rube Goldberg cartoon, “I Am Always On Time” – it detailed the diversions people should provide to amuse the punctual. Playing cards, novels, tumbling midgets, etc. I’m always early. I get agita when it seems likely I will be late. Why?
Yes. And you never know what you’ll miss: as I may have mentioned on the podcast, I was early for my first COVID shot, and as it happened they closed the drug store early because the Chauvin verdict was in, and they feared immolation if it went the wrong way. Early is always fine. Late never prospers.
Wife and Daughter do not share this concept when applied to airplane flights, so you can imagine how many grand mals I’ve had over the years.
Scheduling too many things and estimating time poorly are aspects of her word.
I would hope the other party was late if this was the entertainment.
Some thirty years ago following a job change, I moved my young family to Miami. We signed up my oldest, then six, for AYSO soccer. I took her to her first game. It was early on a Saturday morning and we arrived on time and at first, I thought I must have misread the schedule. As this was before cell phones, I had no way to verify my mistake, so I decided to wait a while. Over the next hour, players and families arrived, unhurried. When there were enough children to field two teams, the game began at least an hour after the designated time. After the game, at home, I checked the schedule. Game time was as I had assumed and we had been the only ones to arrive on time.
That was when I realized that despite the local population’s affinity for expensive gold timepieces, time in Miami, specifically liesure time, was not so exact a science as it was back in New England.
***
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My missionary friend in Mexico was an always early kind of guy. He had to make quite a transition to the Baja California lifestyle. He described his first ministers’ meeting to me something like this:
“I arrived 20 minutes early and was the only one there. 20 minutes after starting time the leaders arrived saying “Bro-ther – Good to see you. How are you?- How’s your wife, How’s your family, How’s your church?-(smiles and handshakes all around). About every 20 minutes after that for over an hour, a few more would trickle in setting off a whole new round of “Bro-ther – Good to see you, How are you?…;” The meeting did not start until everyone was there and had been warmly welcomed. Nobody seemed to notice the time.”
Ha, ha. We’re always 3 hours early for flights. It must be some latent anxiety disorder.
I’m almost always on time, and where I said I’d be, when I said I’d be there. Sometimes, circumstances beyond my control intervene. Every once in a blue moon (probably more rarely than the appearance of a blue moon, actually), I mess up on my own account and don’t show up because of a fault of my own. And I think most people I know are forgiving of both those sorts of things.
I think what’s most important, and what can ameliorate the sense of “this person is inconsiderate and rude” is good comms with the other party. And I do think there’s no excuse, given our access to cell phones, the Internet, and every other means of communication known to man, that to be late. or to put in a non-appearance, and not to have notified the other party as to the reason for the silence or the non-appearance, is way beyond the pale.
I’m grateful that, by and large, my friends have proven themselves to be reasonable, forgiving, rational folks who haven’t ghosted and/or gaslighted me because I may have made a mistake somewhere along the way, and who assume I’m simply stating the facts of the case when I explain. I’m sorry for those who choose to jettison their friends for a mistake, or who don’t have friends like that. Must be tough.
I don’t expect, at this late date, that I’ll change. Rather, I continue to muddle through as best I can. And my friends will have to like it or lump it.
Exactly!
Given all those means, there’s no excuse. It’s not as if hours, minutes, and calendar days or in some random, jumbled order. We know They’re coming. Heck, We even planned on it. So, be on time.
Yes. Be on time. If you can.
Perhaps it all depends on what the meaning of “can” is.
So, “I left with 60 minutes slop time, for a 40 minute trip, and have been stuck on the Parkway for 50 minutes because some texting moron caused an accident which has had me sitting here in stopped traffic for an hour” might, just perhaps, be a rational explanation for a late arrival. If that’s the case, I hope my (possibly former) friends might be understanding of it.
Just saying.
I take being late as a personal failure. It’s like missing a bid date, a failure of such weight as to be almost unforgivable.
I hope I made it clear, in a previous comment, that I am almost always on time. And most of the people who know me know that I am a girl of my word who lives up to her commitments, both large and small. But I won’t assume responsibility, guilt, or blame for those things that are beyond my control. Those things that are within my control which I somehow fail to live up to, sure. But, as I’ve said, I think my word’s pretty good, and I think those failures are few and far between. Just because someone else acted or planned poorly, got in my way, and overturned my perfectly rational and well-intentioned plan, doesn’t make it my failure, or my emergency. And imposing an absolute on me, and impugning my character because I didn’t quite manage to “come through” on time when life, fools, and sometimes malicious actors are chucking caltrops in my way, is, I think, rather unreasonable. As is the implication that any explanation” must be an “excuse.,” and therefore, invalid. And thus, I think the blanket condemnation of character issued in today’s quote, by a writer I dislike for other reasons–McCarthy, certainly not AUMom, who’s a love–is, although not unexpected, quite miserly and unwarranted.
Sorry, She. I didn’t mean to imply that you were tardy.
No apology needed, but thanks.