An Ode to Pizza (and Other Sillinesses)

 

Because the conversation drifted that way (with a little nudge here and there, perhaps) – and because @arahant pointed out that we had in fact arrived there through the pizza grove – I found myself drafting odes to that prince of foodstuffs. Oh, all right, it’s a fair cop, it doesn’t take much to start me riffing poetical and, falling among good company (ahem), a couple of parodies were but the work of a minute or three:

O, for a flice triangular! that hath been warmed
A decent while in the earthen oven,
Tasting of sunlit slope and thyme-flowers green,
Good cheese and not the box, and companionable talk!
But not with a beaker of faery wine,
Which twinkles, bubbling, at the brim,
Or else I should slip,
Like old Rip, drifting in to the Pizza Grove,
And fade far away into the forest dim …

There should be warning figns up:

Beware the Pizza Grove, my son,
The salmon that wafts, the pansy to catch,
Beware the Arugula Leaf, and shun
The frumptious Dandelion Patch!

(With apologies to Messrs. Keats and Carroll.)

So, good friends, draw up a chair and a slice, if you will; cut yourself a piece of the pie, be you so inclined.

What bad (or good) poetic riffs, parodies, or songs might you have to share? What anecdotes on that noble dish might you have the crust to advance?

Come one, come all, gather round – have a coffee (or something stronger if it’s getting later) or a nice cup of tea, and gather ’round the fire and chat.

(Thanks again go to Monsignor Arahant for ſetting my typography ſtraight here.)

(Edit: Oh, and before I forget, thanks and acknowledgment are due too to @percival whose remarks on the dangers of suspicious salading helped inspire the latter riff.)

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  1. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Andrew Miller (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    All good people know
    It’s an abomination
    Spinach pizza bad

    Yesterday I planted a 27-foot row of spinach in our garden. I hope some of the crop ends up on pizza, though it’s good in other ways, too.

    So, there.

    In February 2020 Mrs R and I visited the Spinach Capitol of the World (Crystal City, Texas) and took photos of the Popeye statue, though that visit was more for the sake of sugar beets than spinach. It was shortly before I posted “Go West, Young Man, and be a Migrant Worker.” Crystal City supplied a lot of the migrant workers who would come north to work in the beet fields of the Red River Valley in North Dakota.

    Arr, it’s a fair crop, guv.

    Almost enough to make one of Arahant’s alleged pizzas.

    (They’re actually cheese pies, with the spinach used to try and hold the cheese together.)

    • #31
  2. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Andrew Miller (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    All good people know
    It’s an abomination
    Spinach pizza bad

    Yesterday I planted a 27-foot row of spinach in our garden. I hope some of the crop ends up on pizza, though it’s good in other ways, too.

    So, there.

    In February 2020 Mrs R and I visited the Spinach Capitol of the World (Crystal City, Texas) and took photos of the Popeye statue, though that visit was more for the sake of sugar beets than spinach. It was shortly before I posted “Go West, Young Man, and be a Migrant Worker.” Crystal City supplied a lot of the migrant workers who would come north to work in the beet fields of the Red River Valley in North Dakota.

    Arr, it’s a fair crop, guv.

    Almost enough to make one of Arahant’s alleged pizzas.

    (They’re actually cheese pies, with the spinach used to try and hold the cheese together.)

    Ah, a man takes his pizzas where he can find them. 

    • #32
  3. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Andrew Miller (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    The Reticulator (View Comment):
    Spinach is good on pizza.

    Yes, we know. But some do not. The subject comes up often in the PIT.

    Fine. Order a pizza with spinach on it. We’re still gonna make you sit on the curb in front of the restaurant while you eat it.

    Heathen.

    ‘Twas ever thus, even on the streets of Jerusalem and Acre back in the old Crusading times. A dusty, travel-worn wanderer easing himself into a seat in the shade with the clink of chainmail, grasping a refreshing cup of something or other, looking around furtively and asking — “Yes, we serve it. But outside in the gardens, if you please, friend. We want no trouble here.”

    Palamedes, most likely. He’s a great one for dietary fads. Can’t eat beans on days with a “T” in them.

    • #33
  4. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Percival (View Comment):
    Can’t eat beans on days with a “T” in them.

    In Greek, that only leaves Friday and Sunday.

    • #34
  5. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):
    Can’t eat beans on days with a “T” in them.

    In Greek, that only leaves Friday and Sunday.

    I checked Polish whose weekday names are cognates of the Russian ones (except for Sunday) and if you took the diet to either country you could eat beans on Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday. 

    • #35
  6. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    • #36
  7. GLDIII Temporarily Essential Reagan
    GLDIII Temporarily Essential
    @GLDIII

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    All good people know
    It’s an abomination
    Spinach pizza bad

    Haiku, not bad

    • #37
  8. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Basil Fawlty (View Comment):

    What have I let myself in for …

    • #38
  9. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    GLDIII Temporarily Essential (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    All good people know
    It’s an abomination
    Spinach pizza bad

    Haiku, not bad

    Judge Mental, Poet.

    • #39
  10. Midwest Southerner Coolidge
    Midwest Southerner
    @MidwestSoutherner

    I couldn’t love this post — along with its tags and all the comments — anymore if I tried. 

    Well done, @andrewmiller, and thank you for the smiles. :)

    • #40
  11. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Midwest Southerner (View Comment):

    I couldn’t love this post — along with its tags and all the comments — anymore if I tried.

    Well done, @ andrewmiller, and thank you for the smiles. :)

    And that makes it all worthwhile. Thank you very much. :)

    • #41
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